POLITRIXS by bruce stasiuk

OCCUPY THE FINE PRINT

2012-01-20T16:35:00.002-05:00

Recently, public radio had a segment about fine print.
The consensus was that technology has enabled the print to become even finer yet.
It’s not done to save spruce trees.
The purpose is to make selected passages so difficult to read that they aren’t.

The tax code is like that.
Although the print may be large enough, the complexity of words and obscure references turns them to cuneiform.
Like thermodynamics for dummies, you can read it, but you won’t understand it.
Words can be so confusing.
(Look up ‘credit default swap’ then explain it to your neighbor)

But we all understand numbers.
We get the difference between, say, 15 and 35.
Easy.
Take the struggle over getting Mitt Romney to release his tax returns.
It’s given us a teachable dividend.
He’s attempted to defuse the inevitable outrage by telling us in advance that he pays an effective tax rate of about 15%.
Effective indeed!
We’ll soon learn that it was even lower; thanks to tax regulations …
( Also known as avoidance schemes)…but let us not haggle.

Let’s thank him.
Mr. Romney has given us the gift of sunlight.

During the coming ground-war of the national campaign, when President Obama is repeatedly called a Euro-socialist, he’ll be comfortable responding, “15%”.

We’ll be advised to look at our tax returns, seeing 28% or 30% or 35% of our taxable ordinary income being paid to the Internal Revenue Service.
We’ll question why Mr. Romney’s not-so-ordinary income gets treated so much more kindly, and not even subjected to the payroll tax.

He and his platoon of accounts, lawyers, lobbyists, and cohorts will try to muddle us with words…investments, long term, job creation, capital flight, appreciation, depreciation, private equity funds, carried interest, venture capital, and words not even known in these parts.

It just may not work anymore.

A PLEDGE WORTH SIGNING

2011-11-18T15:04:00.002-05:00

Grover Norquist, volunteer for Richard Nixon, aide-de-scamp to Oliver North, consultant in the Contract with America, and name-dropped in the Senate testimony relating to the Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal, is the president of Americans For Tax Reform.

His organization has developed an anti-taxing scripture in the form of a pledge.
The 'promissory note' has been signed by More than 1,100 officeholders, from local politicians, to congressmen, to governors.
Above all else, they have taken Norquist’s blood-oath to never, ever, raise taxes.
Fair enough.

But, here’s a new and improved pledge for politicians to sign, which might better serve our communities as well as this nation:

A'hem...

I pledge, that, upon leaving public office, I will never become a lobbyist. Furthermore, I’ll never work for a lobbying firm, nor will I become a political “consultant” [whatever that is].

I also promise that upon leaving public office, my net worth will be very close to what it was when I entered government.

Sign Here --------------

CRITICAL MASSES

2011-10-30T16:21:00.002-04:00

Hegemonizing is out.
Homogonizing is in.

This World is not only flatter…it’s smaller and faster.
The great central processing unit in the cloud connects our planet-wide-party-line at the speed of light; a light that sanitizes dark alleys and ugly secrets.
This Twiterized, iphone era transforms everywhere into anywhere.
We are becoming one big chatty neighborhood.
Awaiting the call to arms, we, the Minutemen, can be informed in seconds.
We are the newtrinos!
Ideas no longer marinate while the good word spreads.
Pony express.
Telegrams.
Newspapers.
Even viruses…all too slow.
Tunisia is seconds away.
The Rashomon of Wall Street is instant.
A movement needs no debate or consideration.
It just happens.

A flash mob is a group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual and sometimes seemingly pointless act for a brief time, and then disperse, often for the purposes of entertainment, satire, or artistic expression.

A flash rob is a criminal twist on a flash mob – instead of congregating to sing songs or hold political protests, flash robs are organized to rob a store in a quick and sometimes large lightning raid.

FREE $PEECH

2011-08-18T12:42:00.001-04:00

You strut to the front of the line at the motor vehicle office, approach the clerk, and put some cash on the counter along with your paper work.
You say, “Expedite this for me.”

A cop pulls you over for exceeding the speed limit.
He asks for your license and registration.
You hand him both, along with a neatly folded $100 bill.
You wink.

You have a meeting with Skipper’s teacher.
You say you’d like his grades to be raised.
You push a sealed envelope across the desk.

None of these gestures are acceptable, or maybe even legal.

However, contributing money to a politician to influence his behavior is considered free speech.

It’s the poison in our political system.

THE EMPLOYMENT BUBBLE

2011-06-14T14:26:00.003-04:00

WHEN THE TWIN-PEAK BUBBLES OF SECURITIES AND REAL ESTATE POPPED, A THIRD BUBBLE WAS HISSING AIR.
THE EMPLOYMENT BUBBLE.
YES.
EMPLOYMENT WAS A BUBBLE.

DURING THE HELIUM YEARS, JOBS WERE EVERYWHERE.
WHILE THE WORKFORCE WAS PUNCHING IN,
UNEMPLOYMENT WAS BASKING AROUND ITS HISTORIC 5%.

NOW, DEPENDING UPON THE FUZZYNESS OF ONE’S ALGORITHM,
UNEMPLOYMENT RANGES FROM 9% TO 17%.

AMERICA WAITS FOR THE RETURN OF OUR ‘NORMAL’ UNEMPLOYMENT AVERAGE.
IT WON’T BE BACK.
THE JOBS ARE GONE.

THE PRESENT UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IS NOT A TEMPORARY MALADY WAITING FOR A CYCLICAL CORRECTION.
IT'S THE NEW NORMAL, AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT 20 YEARS.
JOBS ARE NOT BECOMING OBSOLETE, BUT THEY’RE ON THE ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST.

HOW DID IT HAPPEN?

THE STOCK MARKET HAS REBOUNDED FROM THE “BIG BANG” LARGLY BECAUSE CORPORATIONS DEFENSIVLY DOWNSIZED THEIR PAY ROLLS.
THEY ASSIGNED THEIR JOBS TO FEWER AND MORE INSECURE WORKERS.
WHEREVER POSSIBLE, THEY PURCHASED MACHINES AND TECHNOLOGY WHICH REPLACED PEOPLE.
AFTER ALL, MACHINES NEEDED NO VACATIONS, PENSIONS OR HEALTH CARE.
THEY CONTINUED TRANSFERING EXPORTABLE JOBS TO LOW-WAGE PLACES.
CONSUMERS BOUGHT THE IMPORTS; A FAUSTIAN JOBS FOR DISCOUNTS BARGAIN.

PRODUCTIVITY SOARED.
BOARD ROOMS DISCOVERED THAT THEY DID JUST FINE WITH OFFSHORE LABOR AND A SLIMMER DOMESTIC WORKFORCE.
THERE WAS NO CONCERN FOR THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE, JUST THE BOTTOM LINE.
SOME LABOR-INTENSIVE JOBS COULDN’T BE EXPORTED, SO, LOW-WAGE WORKERS WERE IMPORTED BECAUSE, ALTHOUGH AMERICA STILL HAD SHOVEL READY JOBS, AMERICANS WERE NOT READY TO PICK UP SHOVELS.

AND, THE VERY MECHANIZATION AND TECHNOLOGY WHICH MAKES OUR LIVES EASIER, MAKES IT EASIER TO ELIMINATE WORKERS,

FROM EZ-PASS TO NAIL GUNS.
FROM TRAVELOCITY TO BAR CODES.

THERE WILL BE NO GOING BACK.

DEATH TAX AND DEAD BEATS

2011-04-13T16:58:00.006-04:00

THE ESTATE TAX, POINTEDLY RENAMED “THE DEATH TAX”, HAS A FLEET OF OPPONENTS.

THEY ARGUE THAT A SUCCESSFUL PERSON, WHO WORKED, SAVED, INVESTED, AND ACCUMULATED WEALTH, SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SURRENDER, UPON THEIR DEATH, A SHARE OF THAT WEALTH TO THE GOVERNMENT. THE ENTIRE ESTATE SHOULD BE PASSED ON TO THE INHERITORS.

AFTER ALL, IT IS THE FAMILIES MONEY…NOT THE GOVERNMENTS.

BUT HOW MANY OF THOSE OPPONENTS PARTICIPATE IN THE RITUAL OF TRANSFERRING WEALTH AND PROPERTY BEFORE MEDICAL AND NURSING-HOME CARE EXPENSES CONSUME ALL OR PART OF THAT WEALTH?

WE ALL KNOW THE DRILL.

A LAWYER IS CALLED. THE ADVICE IS GIVEN TO TRANSFER THE HOUSE AND THE ASSETS A FEW YEARS IN ADVANCE OF THOSE STEEP END-OF-LIFE EXPENSES. HERE’S THE SWITCH. NOW IT’S THE GOVERNMENT’S BILL…NOT THE FAMILIES.

UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS

2011-04-05T13:58:00.004-04:00

THE WORLD OF THE UPSTAIRS ARISTOCRATS EATING CUCUMBER SANDWICHES OFF BONE CHINA, AND THE DOWNSTAIRS HOUSEKEEPERS IRONING LINENS AND STIRRING MARMALADE IS BACK. NO. NOT THE APRIL RETURN OF THE ENGLISH-PERIOD DRAMA, BROADCAST ON PBS DURING THE SEVENTIES. THIS UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS IS DOMESTIC. IT’S THE GROWING INCOME INEQUALITY IN AMERICA. FOR SOME THIRTY YEARS IT’S BEEN FESTERING, AS THE WEALTHY DRIFT FURTHER APART FROM THE REST OF US. ACCORDING TO DAVID LEONHARDT IN THE NEW YORK TIMES, “INCOME INEQUALITY, BY MANY MEASURES, IS NOW GREATER THAN IT HAS BEEN SINCE THE 1920S.” THE DISPARITIES RESEMBLE BANANA REPUBLICS; THE COUNTRIES, NOT THE STORES. YES. THE RICH HAVE TRULY GOTTEN RICHER AND WE KNOW WHERE THE REST ARE….IN A STATE OF STAGNATION, AT BEST. WHILE AMERICAN COPORATIONS MOVE THEIR HEADQUARTERS TO P.O. BOXES IN SWITZERLAND, AND THE SECURITIES MARKETS REACH FOR A NEW HIGH-WATER MARK, MANY DOWNSTAIRS FOLKS STIR IN THEIR SLEEP FRETTING OVER TOMORROW. BESIDES BEING NOT VERY POLITE, IT’S ALSO VERY DANGEROUS FOR OUR SOCIETY.

BULLYLAND

2011-03-22T16:23:00.001-04:00

THE PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY HOSTED A WHITE HOUSE CONFERENCE TO SPUR ANTIBULLYING EFFORTS IN SCHOOLS AND COMMUNITIES NATIONWIDE.
GOOD IDEA.
BULLYING IS RAMPANT IN OUR SCHOOLS, NEIGHBORHOODS, AND, MOST RECENTLY, ON THE INTERNET.
CYBERSPACE HAS PROVIDED A NEW PLATFORM WHERE EVEN THE WEAKEST, PUNIEST BANTAM CAN ANNONYMOUSLY TORMENT AN ALPHA-KID,
PROVING THAT THE INTERNET IS NOT ALL ABOUT PORN AFTER ALL.
WE NOW HAVE THE DEMOCRATIZATION OF ABUSE!

IT’S A NASTY PROBLEM.
OH THOSE ROTTEN KIDS!
WHERE DID THEY LEARN THE DARK ART?

AREN’T WE A NATION FOUNDED AND DEVELOPED ON TWO OF THE GREAT BULLYING PROGRAMS IN WORLD HISTORY?
YOU KNOW THEM.
THINK SIOUX.
THINK AFRICANS.
BULLYING IS DEEP IN OUR DNA.

OUR CONGRESS MORPHED INTO A BULLYING SYMPOSIUM.
WE HAVE A FOREIGN POLICY MARBLED WITH BULLYING.
CURIOUSLY, OUR EXECUTIVE BRANCH SPEAKS FROM THE BULLY PULPIT.
WASN’T THE BANKING AND WALL STREET FREE-FALL ROOTED IN
THE B-WORD?
WHY, IF WE WERE DEPRIVED OF OUR BULLYING BIRTHRIGHT WE’D WIND UP BEING CANADA, OR WORSE.

WE 4% EXCEPTIONALISTS CONSUME 25% OF THE WORLD’S ENERGY.
BULLY FOR US…WE CAN AFFORD IT!

WE HAVE TAUGHT OUR CHILDREN WELL.
THEY HAVE BEEN TUTORED BY PROS.

SUPERMAN, TIGER MOMS, AND SKINS

2011-01-26T16:46:00.005-05:00

Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command. Your old road is rapidly agin'.

Bob Dylan

WAITING FOR SUPERMAN IS A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THE STATE OF AMERICAN PUBLIC EDUCATION. IT CLAIMS THAT THE DECLINE OF NATIONAL READING AND MATH SCORES IS THE RESULT OF A DREADFUL SYSTEM WHICH FAILS OUR CHILDREN, AND IS RESPONSIBLE FOR AMERICA’S SUB-PRIME INTERNATIONAL ACADEMIC RANKING.
IT ACCUSES OUR SCHOOLS, WHICH IT CALLS “FAILURE FACTORIES”, OF CAUSING A NATIONAL DISASTER WITH AN ALARMINGLY HIGH DROPOUT RATE.
IT APPOINTS TEACHERS AS THE VILLAINS, AND CASTS THEIR UNIONS AS THE DEFENDERS OF A NEAR-CRIMINAL TENURE SYSTEM WHICH SUFFOCATES POTENTIAL IMPROVEMENT. THE ADVOCACY FILM MOCKS THE WAY PRINCIPALS ROTATE LOUSY TEACHERS WITHIN A GIVEN DISTRICT, IN A CYNICAL SHUFFLE VARIOUSLY KNOWN AS “THE DANCE OF THE LEMONS”, “THE TURKEY TROT”, AND “PASS THE TRASH".
THE FILM’S WHITE KNIGHT CHARGING TO THE RESCUE, IS A NETWORK OF NON-UNIONIZED, NON-INCLUSIVE CHARTER SCHOOLS.

AS AMERICA IS WAITING FOR SUPERMAN, ALONG COMES TIGER MOTHER.

IT’S A BOOK ABOUT A MOM AND HER TWO DAUGHTERS.
IT ARGUES THAT CHINESE PARENTS ARE BETTER AT RAISING KIDS THAN WESTERN ONES.
THE BOOK PRESENTS ITSELF AS A MANUAL FOR CREATING IDEAL STUDENTS.
THE TIGER MOM ACCEPTS NOTHING LESS THAN PERFECTION.
AN A- IS CONSIDERED A FAILURE IN THE TIGER HOME.
THE TEXT PRESCRIBES SUSTAINED HARDWORK AND TOTAL RESPECT FROM CHILDREN.
TIGER CHILDREN HAVE LIMITED CONTACT OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL AND RIGID DISCIPLINE IN THE HOME.
THERE IS LITTLE TV AND NO VIDEO GAMES, PLAY DATES, OR SLEEPOVERS.

AS AMERICANS CONSIDER BECOMING TIGER MOTHERS, ALONG COMES SKINS.

NAMED AFTER THE PAPERS USED TO ROLL BLUNTS, SKINS IS THE LATEST MTV PRODUCT.
IT’S A SHOW ABOUT YOUNG KIDS TAKING DRUGS, STEALING, AND ENGAGING IN FRIENDS-WITH-BENEFITS SEX.
THE SHOW HAS CREATED A CONTROVERSY, SUGGESTING THAT IT VIOLATES FEDERAL CHILD PORNOGRAPY LAWS. THE CHANNEL HAS EXPRESSED CONCERN ABOUT THE ACCUSATION, WHILE SECRETLY THRILLED OVER THE MEDIA ATTENTION WHICH WILL SURELY STIMULATE RATINGS AND PUBESCIENT BUZZ.
MTV CLAIMS THAT THE SHOW IS DESIGNED FOR ADULTS… BUT THEY’RE PLAYING THE JOE CAMEL GAME.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THE REAL TARGET AUDIENCE.
JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOLS ACROSS THE COUNTRY ARE TWEETING AND TEXTING AWAY.

THE QUESTION FOR PARENTS IS, WILL THEIR CHILDREN BE WATCHING, AND WILL SCHOOLS HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS?

AIRBRUSHING OURSELVES TO PERFECTION

2010-11-22T15:22:00.003-05:00

FOR A SOCIETY SO MADLY IN LOVE WITH REALITY TV, WE SURE DON’T SEEM TO BE VERY FOND OF REALITY.

AND, JUST WHEN IT SEEMS THAT ALL THE SELF-DENIAL METAPHORS OF US KIDDING OURSELVES HAVE BEEN EXPOSED, ANOTHER ONE MAKES THE FRONT PAGE OF THE NEW YORK TIMES.

NOW, WE’RE KIDDING OURSELVES ABOUT KIDS.

SCHOOL PHOTOGRAPHY COMPANIES REPORT THAT A GROWING PERCENTAGE OF PARENTS ARE REQUESTING AND PAYING TO HAVE THEIR CHILD’S SCHOOL PICTURE AIRBRUSHED.
WITH ADVANCES IN TECHNOLOGY, SCRATCHES AND SCARS ARE BLOTTED AWAY.
MOLES, BIRTH MARKS, AND ACNE...GONE.
HAIR LENGTH? CHANGED.
BRACES DISAPPEAR AND TEETH ARE WHITENED.

EVERYONE IS PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL NOW!

DOWN IN A HOLE

2010-09-05T12:53:00.001-04:00

CHILEAN MINERS ARE TRAPPED IN A HOLE.
THE COMPANY EXCAVATED TOO DEEPLY AND DANGEROUSLY BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO EXTRACT MORE GOLD AND SILVER.
THE SHAFT’S INFRASTRUCTURE WAS SUB-STANDARD BECAUSE
GOVERNMENT CONTROLS WERE LAX.

THE MINERS ARE BEING KEPT ALIVE THROUGH A NARROW “FEEDING” TUBE.
IF AN ESCAPE PIPE CAN REACH THEM, THEY’LL BE PULLED FROM THE HOLE.
IT WILL TAKE A LONG TIME.
IT’S A STRUGGLE FOR LIFE.

WE TOO, ARE IN A DEEP HOLE.
WE WHISTLED PAST DANGERS AND DUG TOO DEEP.
WE WANTED MORE.
GOVERNMENT CONTROLS WERE RELAXED.
OUR FEEDING TUBE IS THE STIMULUS PACKAGE WHICH HASN’T BEEN VERY STIMULATING.
AMERICA WAITS FOR THE ESCAPE PIPE.
IT’S A STRUGGLE FOR A LIFE STYLE.

UNSOUND BITES

2010-08-12T12:53:00.003-04:00

IT SEEMS THAT AMERICANS CAN BE DIVIDED INTO 4 UNEQUAL GROUPS.
LET’S CALL THEM ‘BOXES’.

THE SMALLEST BOX IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE WHO WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON IN THE WORLD. THEY PURSUE INFORMATION FROM A BROAD RANGE OF SOURCES.
THEY TAKE IT ALL IN, PROCESS AND ANALYZE IT, THEN ANNOY US AT PARTIES.

THE SECOND BOX IS OVERFLOWING WITH PEOPLE WHO DON’T MUCH CARE ABOUT WHAT’S HAPPENING ON THE PLANET, UNLESS IT’S HAPPENIN’ ON THE JERSEY COAST.
THEY LIKE REALITY SHOWS AS LONG AS REALITY IS NOT INVOLVED.

THE FINAL TWO BOXES ARE FILLED WITH FOLKS---PROBABLY US--- WHO PRIMARILY ABSORB NEWS FROM EITHER SIDE OF THE GREAT RIFT.
WE ARE AT THE MERCY OF A MEDIA WHICH HAS LOST ITS ETHICAL WAY.
THE GATEKEEPERS ARE RETIRED.
THE RATINGS- MAKERS AND AGENDA-MEISTERS ARE RUNNING
THE SHOW NOW….AND, IT IS A SHOW.
OUR ‘NEWS’ IS MORE ABOUT CONFIRMATION THAN INFORMATION.
IT COMFORTS US AND ENDORSES OUR BELIEFS.
IT DEMONIZES THE ‘OTHERS’.
IT ALMOST NEVER GIVES US PARAGRAPHS.
IT HARDLY GIVES US SENTENCES.
IT OFFERS SELECTED WORDS…BITES.
WE LOSE.

THRILL BABY, THRILL

2010-05-30T10:48:00.004-04:00

IT’S THAT TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP.
NOT PERFECT, BUT ADDICTIVE.
HE IS---- AS MOTHER USED TO SAY----“A GOOD PROVIDER.”
HE GIVES US EVERYTHING WE WANT.
HE WARMS US UP, GIVES US THINGS, AND TAKES US PLACES.
HE MAKES US FEEL GOOD.
WE NEED HIM---(A TRUTH WE HATE)---DESPERATELY.

YES. HE SPENDS ALL OUR SAVINGS ON OTHER WOMEN.
WE’VE THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING.
OUR FRIENDS TELL US THAT WE’RE CRAZY.
BUT… HE MAKES US SO HAPPY.
HOW COULD WE EVER REALLY LIVE THE WAY WE DO, WITHOUT HIM?

THEN, THE DAY COMES…AGAIN…WHEN HE BEATS US SO BADLY WE BLEED.
WE SWEAR THAT IT’S OVER.

FINISHED.

THIS IS THE LAST TIME THAT WE’LL LET THAT MONSTER ABUSE US!
WE TALK ABOUT AN ORDER OF PROTECTION.

BUT HE BUYS US FLOWERS.
HE DOES THAT SPECIAL THING HE DOES SO WELL.

WE KNOW THAT HE'S NO GOOD FOR US, BUT...

MAYBE, JUST A FEW MORE BARRELS...

A GLASS 1/2 EMPTY....A GLASS 1/3 FULL

2010-05-19T15:36:00.003-04:00

CAMERAS? CAMERAS? WE DON’T NEED NO STINKIN’ CAMERAS!

ARIZONA WAS THE FIRST STATE TO DEPLOY HIGHWAY CAMERAS TO MAKE THE ROADS SAFER.

NICE.

SPEEDERS ARE TICKETED THROUGH THE MAIL.

BUT NOT SO FAST.

ARIZONIANS FEEL THAT THE CAMERAS ARE TOO INTRUSIVE, AND THUS, HAVE
VANDALIZED OR COVERED MANY OF THEM.
MOST OF THE TICKETS ARE NOT BEING PAID.
VIOLATORS MUST, ACCORDING TO LAW, BE SERVED IN PERSON WITHIN THREE MONTHS, OTHERWISE THE TICKETS BECOME INVALID.
OVERTAXED PROCESS SERVERS CAN’T HANDLE THE VOLUME, SO, MOST OF THE CITATIONS GO UNPAID.
THE COURTS HAVE BECOME OVERWHELMED BY THE ONSLAUGHT OF IGNORED TICKETS.

THE MUCH HERALDED LAW ABIDING CITIZENS OF ARIZONA ARE DEMANDING A MEASURE TO BAN THE CAMERAS.

THE POINT?

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR…

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, DRIVERS, AND THE MEXICAN-AMERICAN WAR

POPE FICTION

2010-04-12T18:35:00.002-04:00

THE MOST RECENT CHAPTER OF “WHAT WENT ON IN THE RECTORY”
(etymology anyone?)
INCLUDES NOT ONLY PEDERASTY, BUT BONDAGE.
SEX, ROPES, AND KIDS.

IN 1981, A PRIEST WHO HAD BEEN CONVICTED OF TYING UP AND ABUSING TWO YOUNG BOYS, SENT A LETTER TO THE VATICAN REQUESTING THAT HE BE DEFROCKED. HE WANTED OUT.

FOUR YEARS LATER, A RESPONSE CAME FROM THE VATICAN’S OFFICE OF ABUSE.

A BUSY PLACE.

THE RESPONSE WAS SIGNED BY CARDINAL RATZINGER, WHO, WHILE STILL IN FALLIBLE-MODE, HAD JUST BEEN APPOINTED TO THE DEPARTMENT.
THE CARDINAL WROTE THAT THE CASE NEEDED MORE TIME AND THAT THE GOOD OF THE CHURCH HAD TO BE CONSIDERED.

AFTER TWO MORE YEARS OF ‘CONSIDERING’, THE CHURCH DEFROCKED THE OFFENDER.

JOEY RATZ XVI

2010-03-28T19:02:00.006-04:00

“Although they have committed their own heinous crimes, the inmates regard 'short eyes', prison slang for sex-offenders, as the lowest-of-the-low.”

SOME TIME AFTER HIS MEMBERSHIP IN GERMANY’S 'MANDATORY' HITLER YOUTH ORGANIZATION, BUT BEFORE HE BECAME THE ‘INFALLIBLE’ ONE, JOEY RATZ WAS THE ARCHBISHOP OF MUNICH.

IN 1980, ARCHBISHOP JOEY APPROVED THERAPY FOR A SEXUAL PREDATOR PRIEST WHO HAD SODOMIZED YOUNG CHILDREN.
DAYS AFTER THE TREATMENT STARTED, JOEY APPROVED THE PEDOPHILE’S TRANSFER TO ANOTHER PARISH.

IN 1996, CARDINAL JOEY FAILED TO RESPOND TO LETTERS ABOUT THE CASE OF A PRIEST WHO SEXUALLY ABUSED OVER 200 DEAF CHILDREN IN A WISCONSIN PARISH.
THE VATICAN IS CLAIMING THAT HE WAS PREOCCUPIED WITH MORE PRESSING ISSUES.
THE SHEPHERD WAS PROTECTING THE WOLVES INSTEAD OF THE LAMBS.

POPE RATZ NEEDS COVER.
HE HAS FALLIBLES JUMPING ON THEIR SWORDS.

"HOLY WATERGATE".

AMERICA...THE TOYOTA

2010-03-12T16:21:00.002-05:00

TOYOTA, THE WORLD’S REMAINING AUTOMOTIVE SUPER-POWER, IS HEMORRHAGING DUE TO UNINTENDED ACCELERATION.

SOME CARS JUST CAN’T STOP.

AND, THE ONES THAT CAN ARE TREATED WITH SUSPICION.

AMERICA ALSO SUFFERS FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO STOP.

WASHINGTON CONTINUES TO POINT FINGERS AT ITSELF, MAKING NO SINCERE EFFORT TO STOP THE ECONOMIC BLEEDING.

WALL STREET AND BANKERS CAN’T STOP CREATING WORTHLESS PAPER.
GREED IS STILL SO GOOD.

AND TOO MANY AMERICANS ARE IN PAIN DECELERATING FROM BUYING AND BUILDING THINGS THEY CAN'T AFFORD.

LIFE WAS EASIER WHEN IT COULD BE REFINANCED OR FLIPPED.

THE FLIP BECAME A FLOP.

THE RECALLING CONTINUES.

THE COLOSSAL PONZI SCHEME MAY NEVER STOP.

IT MAY JUST RUN OUT OF GAS.

THE MORNING AFTER

2010-01-12T14:27:00.003-05:00

WE WAKE UP LATE.
WHERE ARE WE?
WHAT IS THIS PLACE?
OUR EYES ARE SWOLLEN AND OUR HAIR IS MATTED AND CRUSTY.
JUST WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?
IT’S SLOWLY COMING BACK…BUT IT’S HAZY….BLURRY.
WE REMEMBER BEING WITH WALL STREET AND THE BIG BANKS.
THERE WAS DRINKING AND PROMISES AND LOTS OF FAST TALK.
WORDS WERE WHISPERED INTO OUR EARS: DERIVATIVES, SECURITIZATION, AND CREDIT DEFAULT SWAPS.
THE PLACE WAS DIMLY LIT.
WE DON’T REMEMBER MUCH OF WHAT HAPPENED AFTER PUTTING OUR WALLET ON THE BAR AND SIPPING THAT DRINK THEY BOUGHT US.
WE CAN’T QUITE UNDERSTAND IT ALL.
MAYBE IT WAS DESIGNED SO THAT WE COULDN’T.
WE FEEL FOOLISH, AND USED.

THE SPEECH OBAMA SHOULD GIVE

2009-11-09T16:37:00.002-05:00

GOOD EVENING.

I REQUESTED THAT THE NETWORKS PROVIDE THIS TIME, SO THAT I MIGHT TALK DIRECTLY TO YOU, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

OUR COUNTRY HAS MANY CRITICAL DECISIONS TO MAKE;
HEALTH CARE, OUR FRAGILE ECONOMY, AND GLOBAL CLIMATE, AMONG OTHERS.

TONIGHT I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE MOST SERIOUS DECISION OUR GOVERNMENT CAN EVER MAKE.
A DECISION WITH THE MOST IMPORTANT OF CONSEQUENCES;
ONE DEALING WITH LIFE AND DEATH.

OF COURSE, I’M REFERRING TO WAR.

FEW TOOK ISSUE WITH OUR DECISION TO ELIMINATE AL QAEDA FROM AFGHANISTAN.
THEY WERE THE VERY PEOPLE WHO TORE DOWN TWO TOWERS FILLED WITH INNOCENT PEOPLE.

I BELIEVE THAT RATIONAL PEOPLE WOULD AGREE THAT THERE ARE SOME WARS WHICH MUST BE FOUGHT.
LIKEWISE, THERE ARE SOME WARS WHICH MUST NOT BE FOUGHT.

AS YOUR PRESIDENT, I, ALONG WITH MY ADVISORS, AND THE HEADS OF OUR MILITARY, MUST DECIDE WHICH OF THOSE TWO CONCLUSIONS MUST BE REACHED REGARDING THE WAR WE CONTINUE TO BE ENGAGED IN ACROSS THE DESERTS AND MOUNTAINS OF AFGHANISTAN.

NOW, AFTER 8 YEARS OF PURSUING AND ELIMINATING MOST
OF, IF NOT ALL, OF AL QAEDA IN AFGHANISTAN, THE QUESTION IS, WHAT NEXT?
HAVE WE ACHIEVED OUR OBJECTIVE?
ARE WE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT ARE OBJECTIVE EVEN IS?

AS AMERICAN, AS WELL AS COALITION DEATH TOLLS ARE INCREASING, DO WE GO ON AS WE ARE, FOR FIVE MORE YEARS? TEN MORE YEARS?
OR, DO WE BRING OUR MILITARY PEOPLE HOME, AND LET THE AFGHANIS
RECONSTRUCT THEIR OWN COUNTRY?

SO, AS WE DECIDE IN THE COMING DAYS WHETHER THIS IS A WAR WE MUST END, OR A WAR WE MUST FIGHT, I WANT TO LET YOU, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, KNOW ONE THING I WILL NOT DO....

SHOULD WE CONCLUDE, THAT THIS IS A WAR WHICH MUST BE FOUGHT TO INSURE OUR NATIONAL SECURITY AND, PERHAPS, OUR VERY SURVIVAL,
I WILL NOT LET OUR MILITARY FIGHT AS THEY ARE NOW.

IF WE MUST FIGHT, WE WILL FIGHT TO WIN.

WE CAN’T CLAIM THAT WE’RE FIGHTING FOR OUR SURVIVAL WHILE SO FEW AMERICANS FEEL THE PAIN OF WAR IN THEIR OWN FAMILIES, OR IN THEIR WALLETS.

ONE WOULD HAVE TO KNOCK ON 200 DOORS BEFORE REACHING A FAMILY WHO HAD A LOVED ONE SERVING IN THE MILITARY.
LIKEWISE, AS WE PRESENTLY OPERATE, THE COST OF THIS WAR WILL BE PAID FOR BY AMERICAN CITIZENS YET UNBORN.

THEREFORE, I’LL INSTITUTE AN IMMEDIATE DRAFT UNLIKE ANY IN OUR HISTORY.
I PROPOSE A LOTTERY DRAFT OF EVERY AMERICAN BETWEEN THE AGES OF 18 AND 24 REGARDLESS OF SEX, EDUCATION, OCCUPATION, OR ANY OTHER CRITERIA OTHER THAN SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUES.
THERE WILL BE NO EXCEPTIONS. NONE.

FURTHERMORE, I’LL INSTITUTE A WAR- TAX OF 3% OF INCOME, FOR EVERY AMERICAN.
AGAIN, THERE WILL BE NO EXCEPTIONS.

IF OUR COUNTRY IS IN DANGER AND OUR LIVES ARE UNDER THREAT, WE WILL FIGHT THIS WAR LIKE WE MEAN IT.

ALL OF US.

THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT.

AMERICA...HEAL THYSELF

2009-10-17T16:03:00.003-04:00

WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

HOW CAN WE MOVE MILLIONS OF ‘MEDICALLY NAKED’ PEOPLE INTO THE ‘INSURED’ COLUMN?
OUR ECONOMY IS ON LIFE-SUPPORT AND OUR MEDICAL INFRASTRUCTURE IS NOT ABOUT TO EXPAND QUICKLY ENOUGH TO ABSORB THE HUDDLED MASSES YEARNING TO BREATHE.

AS POLICE CHIEF BRODY SAID IN JAWS…?
“WE NEED A BIGGER BOAT, AND A BOATLOAD OF CASH?”

WE HAVE NEITHER.

HOWEVER, AS JOHN F KENNEDY SAID IN BERLIN,
“ASK NOT WHAT HEALTH CARE CAN DO FOR YOU.”

MAYBE WHAT WE NEED ARE FEWER PATIENTS.

WHAT EXACTLY IS A PATIENT?
ANSWER: SOMEONE WHO GETS SICK OR HURT.

THIS PRESCRIPTION WILL PROPOSE WAYS TO INSURE MORE PEOPLE, WHILE HAVING FEWER PATIENTS…
A VERSION OF HAVING YOUR CAKE AND, WELL, … WE SHOULDN’T REALLY BE EATING CAKE.

BEFORE WE HAVE NEED FOR A DOCTOR, WE SHOULD BE DOING THINGS TO AVOID NEEDING THE DOCTOR.

FACT: 25% OF HOSPITAL PATIENTS ARE THERE DUE TO ACCIDENTS AND BAD LUCK.

WORSE FACT: THE OTHER 75% ARE BEING TREATED FOR SELF-INFLICTED AILMENTS CAUSED BY SMOKING, DRINKING, OR EATING LOTS OF THINGS WE SHOULD LEAVE IN THE LAB.
SEVERAL EXERCISE THEIR RIGHT NOT TO EXERCISE---WHICH IS THE ONLY EXERCISE THAT THEY DO.

SO HERE IS OUR NATIONAL RX.

WE MUST TRIPLE THE TAX ON ALL ALCOHOLIC PRODUCTS.
NO NEED TUH ESHPLAIN.

TAX CIGARETTES INTO EXTINCTION.
AN ADDITIONAL $20 TAX PER PACK…
…NOT TO RAISE REVENUE, BUT TO ELIMINATE A MONSTER WHICH PLACES A HEAVY TOLL ON SOCIETY.
YES, WE’LL NEED TO PUT A SEVERE CRIMINAL PENALTY
ON BUTT-LEGGERS.

SPEAKING OF HEAVY TOLL…WE MUST PLACE A TAX ON CORN SYRUP AND TRANS- FATS.
THESE INGREDIENTS ARE KILLING US… SOFTLY.

GIVE TAX CREDITS FOR GYM MEMBERSHIPS.
USE IT OR LOSE IT.

MANDATE DAILY GYM CLASSES FOR EACH STUDENT.

HAVE SCHOOL HEALTH CLASSES FOCUS ON INTERESTING
SUBJECTS ….LIKE...UM... HEALTH.

ELIMINATE DORITOS AND MC GARBAGE FROM SCHOOL CAFETERIAS.

LET COWS BE COWS AGAIN.
NOTE: REMEMBER WHEN COWS WERE CONTENTED?
TODAY’S HORMONED COWS PRODUCE TWICE THE MILK THEIR GRANDMAS PRODUCED 30 YEARS AGO.
AT OUR CURRENT RATE, BABIES WILL BE WEARING BRAS IN 50 YEARS.

INSTITUTE A SPORTS-WIDE LIFE-LONG BAN ON ANY ATHLETE USING ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES.

STOP TREATING HOT-DOG EATING CONTESTS LIKE SPORTING EVENTS ON TV.

AIRLINE TICKETS SHOULD BE PRICED ACCORDING TO TOTAL WEIGHT…BODY AND BAGGAGE

ELIMINATE MOST SCHOOL BUSES AND USE THE SAVINGS TO INSTALL SIDEWALKS.

REINSTALL BICYCLE RACKS OUTSIDE OF SCHOOLS

STOP THE NATIONAL HYPOCHONDRIA FED BY DRUG COMMERCIALS ON TELEVISION.
BAN THEM.
WE DID IT FOR CIGARETTES.
AND, THE PRICE OF DRUGS WILL GO DOWN.
NOTE: DRUG MANUFACTURERS SPEND MORE ON ADVERTISING THAN ON RESEARCH. AND, THE ADS ARE SUBSIDIZED BY TAXPAYERS!

WE MUST HAVE REAL TORT REFORM SO THE INSANE COST OF MEDICAL MALPRACTICE INSURANCE WILL BE REDUCED, AND WILL LIMIT DEFENSIVE MEDICINE.
DOCTORS SHOULD TAKE THE SAVINGS FROM THE REDUCED MALPRACTICE INSURANCE PREMIUMS AND INVEST IT IN ELECTRONIC RECORD KEEPING.
IN THE AGE OF GPS AND KINDLE, DOCTORS SHOULD NOT BE USING BALLPOINT PENS.

EVERY CITIZEN SHOULD HAVE A MEDICAL FLASH DRIVE, WHICH WILL ELIMINATE MILLIONS OF ERRORS AND SAVE VALUABLE TIME.

MEDICAL SCHOOL SHOULD BE FREE…PAID FOR BY THE GOVERNMENT, THIS WILL GREATLY INCREASE THE NUMBER OF DOCTORS.
WE ALL KNOW WHAT FREE-MARKET COMPETITION DOES.

WE MUST HAVE A NATIONAL TALENT SEARCH TO SEE IF SOME GENIUS CAN CREATE AN ALTERNATIVE FOR THE PUBLIC DOOR KNOB IN RESTROOMS. *

* SAME FOR ELEVATOR BUTTONS.

ISSUE SEVERE SUMMONSES FOR PEOPLE DRIVING WITHOUT SEAT BELTS.

INSURANCE COMPANIES SHOULD STIPULATE IN THEIR POLICIES THAT CERTAIN CONDITIONS WILL VOID THE COVERAGE…TEXTING, CELL-PHONING, ACCORDION PLAYING, ETC.

$1,000 FINES SHOULD BE ISSUED TO ANY DRIVER USING A CELL PHONE OR TEXTING. A SECOND OFFENSE SHOULD REQUIRE CONFISCATION OF THE VEHICLE.
KINDA’ LIKE A CASH FOR KILLERS PROGRAM

THE FEDS SHOULD APPLY THE NEXT ROUND OF ECONOMIC STIMULUS MONEY FOR THE INSTALLATION OF GRAB BARS IN EVERY SHOWER AND TUB AREA IN AMERICA.

FERTILITY CLINICS SHOULD BE REGULATED TO HELP PEOPLE HAVE BABIES…NOT LITTERS

REDUCE THE NATIONAL SPEED LIMIT IN ALL BUT A FEW STATES.
NOTE: DURING THE OIL-EMBARGO DAYS, WE HAD A NATIONAL SPEED LIMIT OF 55 MPH.
DEATH AND INJURY WAS SUBSTANTIALLY REDUCED.

INSTALL TRAFFIC CAMERAS ALONG HIGHWAYS AND INTERSECTIONS.
MAIL EYE-POPPING FINES TO FREE-SPIRITED ROAD WARRIORS.

INSTITUTE AN EXEMPTION-FREE NATIONAL DRAFT WHENEVER THE COUNTRY CONSIDERS WAR.
IT WOULD ASSURE US THAT ANY WAR CONTEMPLATED, WAS REALLY, NO JIVING AROUND, NECESSARY.
NOTE: THE AMOUNT OF MEDICAL ATTENTION THE WAR IN IRAQ WILL CONTINUE TO COST THIS COUNTRY IS WAY BEYOND STAGGERING.

HAVE THE GOVERNMENT DO ANTI-ANTIBIOTICS PUBLIC ADDRESS ANNOUNCEMENTS.
AS WE TRY TO SANITIZE THE WORLD, WE’RE CREATING AN AL QAEDA OF TERRORIST BUGS!

THIS IS JUST A START.
DON’T GET ME STARTED!

SECOND OPINIONS

2009-09-05T17:22:00.002-04:00

POLITRIXS RECENTLY ASKED SEVERAL MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS,

“WHAT’S THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN OUR HEALTH-CARE SYSTEM?”

THEIR ANSWERS…

UROLOGIST… THE TRIAL LAWYERS AND HMO’S ARE DESTROYING THE SYSTEM.
AMERICANS PAY MORE THAN ANY OTHER COUNTRY AND GET LESS HEALTH CARE IN RETURN.

CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST… THE INSURANCE COMPANY GATEKEEPERS WHO MAKE UNINFORMED DECISIONS REGARDING PEOPLE’S CONDITIONS AND NEEDS.

OPERATION SMILE DENTIST…OUR MOST SERIOUS PROBLEM IS A LACK OF CATASTROPHIC HEALTH COVERAGE FOR ALL PEOPLE.
THE CAPITATION SYSTEM IS ANOTHER MAJOR PROBLEM.

MRI SPECIALIST… THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IS INSURANCE COMPANIES IN GENERAL.

SURGEON…HOSPITALS ARE FULL OF PEOPLE ARE WHO ARE OBESE, SMOKERS, OR BOOZERS.
75% OF THE PATIENTS IN A HOSPITAL ARE THERE DUE TO BAD, BUT AVOIDABLE LIFE-STYLES.

SONOLOGIST…THE WORST PART OF OUR HEALTH CARE SYSTEM IS INSURANCE COMPANIES.

SURGEON…IT’S THE “GRANDMA'S GOTTA F**KING DIE” AVOIDANCE SYNDROME.WE SPEND WAY TOO MUCH ON OLD PEOPLE (AWFUL TO ADMIT OR EVEN SAY OUT LOUD BUT A MAJOR PROBLEM) I HAVE A 92 YEAR OLD ON CHEMOTHERAPY RIGHT NOW!! (THE ONCOLOGIST THOUGHT IT WAS REASONABLE!!!)WE ALSO DO A HORRIBLE JOB WITH TERMINAL PATIENTS. I HAVE A WOMAN WITH END STAGE METASTATIC CANCER WHO'S MEDICAL DOCTOR PUT HER ON IV NUTRITION , CALLED TPN, WHICH ALONE COSTS $2,000 PER DAY. SHE IS GOING TO BE DEAD IN A MONTH BUT WE WILL SPEND AT LEAST 100K OVER THIS MONTH. WE COULD IMMUNIZE MANY CHILDREN FOR WHAT WE ARE GOING TO SPEND KEEPING THIS POOR WOMAN ALIVE ANOTHER MONTH AT BEST.ALSO, WE DON’T NEED TO COMPLETELY CHANGE THE SYSTEM BUT THERE IS AN AWFUL LOT OF WASTE.

NURSE…ONE MAJOR PROBLEM IS THAT INSURANCE COMPANIES ARE DICTATING THE TREATMENT AND CARE A PATIENT RECEIVES.
THESE DECISIONS SHOULD COME FROM MEDICAL DOCTORS.

PHYSICAL THERAPIST… WE NEED A GENERAL OVERSIGHT TO STOP THE RIPPING OFF OF THE SYSTEM

NEUROLOGIST…. GP’S ARE IN SHORT SUPPLY AND FEW ARE ENTERING THE FIELD.
ALSO, I PAY A LARGE PART OF MY INCOME TO COVER MYSELF AGAINST MALPRACTICE SUITS.

OTOLARYNGOLOGIST…INSURANCE COMPANIES ARE HORRIBLE.
ALSO, WE REFUSE TO ACCEPT EUTHANASIA IN OUR SOCIETY. WE KEEP PEOPLE ALIVE POINTLESSLY.

PEDIATRIC NURSE… THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO ABUSE THE SYSTEM, INCLUDING DOCTORS AND PATIENTS AND WE'RE IN SUCH A LITIGIOUS SOCIETY THAT DIAGNOSING AND CONFIRMING DIAGNOSES AND SECOND OPINIONS HAVE ALL GOTTEN TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL.
PREVENTATIVE MEDICINE, WHICH INCLUDES A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE, IS FOREIGN TO MOST AMERICANS. SMOKING, OBESITY, LACK OF EXERCISE, STRESS, ETC. ARE ALL-PREVALENT IN OUR SOCIETY, AND ARE ALL CONTRIBUTING TO ILL HEALTH, AND TO RISING HEALTH CARE COSTS.
SCIENTISTS GO INTO RESEARCH KNOWING THAT THEY ARE NOT GOING TO BE WEALTHY; IT IS A LABOR OF LOVE.
I'M CERTAIN THAT MANY DOCTORS ARE MORE INTERESTED IN HOW MUCH THEY WILL EARN.

AGAINISTAN

2009-08-29T12:49:00.003-04:00

DURING BARAK OBAMA’S PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN, AMERICA WAS ENGAGED IN TWO WARS.
ONE WAS A CRIMINAL MISADVENTURE.
THE OTHER WAS A TIRED AND ANEMIC WAR WITH A FADED GOAL.

WISELY, OBAMA HAD EARLIER ADVOCATED AGAINST THE INVASION OF IRAQ, WHICH HE LABELED A WAR OF CHOICE.
BUT OBAMA SUPPORTED THE WAR IN AFGHANISTAN WHICH HE CONSIDERED A WAR OF NECESSITY.

THE ONLY NECESSITY WAS THAT, IN ORDER TO BE ELECTED, HE STARTED WEARING A FLAG LAPEL PIN TO PROVE HIS PATRIOTISM, AND HE PROMISED TO EXPAND THE ‘RIGHT’ WAR TO ILLUSTRATE HIS TOUGHNESS AND MAKE HIS BONES.

THE RUSSIANS HAD TEN YEARS OF BONES.

HE IS TOO SMART TO BELIEVE IN THE LAPEL PIN OR THE 8-YEAR-OLD WAR.

SAY "AHHH"

2009-08-16T16:10:00.002-04:00

IF WE WANT TO CONTINUE CALLING AMERICA THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, WE HAVE TO ACT LIKE WE MEAN IT.

REMEMBER THOSE INALIENABLE RIGHTS WE WERE PROMISED?
LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HEALTHINESS.
IT’S WAY PAST TIME TO DELIVER THE GOODS.

HEALTH-SCARE TERRORISTS INSIST THAT MEDICAL CARE IS A PRODUCT, NOT A RIGHT.
THEY SAY; IF YOU WANT THAT COUGH TREATED, COUGH UP SOME CASH. ACTUALLY, A WHOLE LOT OF CASH.

WHILE THOSE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO HAVE MEDICAL INSURANCE CAN PUT ON THE PAPER GOWN AND SAY AHHH! (unless, of course, they exceed their medical limitations, suffer from a pre-existing condition, or lose their job and benefits)

THOSE WITHOUT COVERAGE ARE NAKED IN A CHILLY DARWINIAN FOREST WHERE EMERGENCIES ARE BASE-CAMP.

BUT, WE DON’T PURCHASE A POLICY WITH THE POLICE DEPARTMENT SO THAT THEY’LL PROTECT US.
NOR DOES THE DISPATCHER ASK US IF WE HAVE FIRE DEPARTMENT COVERAGE BEFORE SENDING OUT THE RED TRUCKS.
AND, WE DO PROVIDE A TUITION-LESS SCHOOL DESK FOR EVERY CHILD.

HOW IS HEALTH CARE DIFFERENT?

IT’S NOT.

ALL THAT’S LEFT TO DO IS FIGURE OUT HOW WE CAN PROVIDE IT WITH THE LIMITED FUNDS AND FACILITIES AVAILABLE.

WE HAD BETTER GET THIS RIGHT.

WE ALL HAVE A PRE-EXISTING CONDITION.

Coming next...and soon….THE REMEDY

SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND....SPORT

2009-06-16T17:54:00.003-04:00

ALAS, ATHLETES HAVE CHANGED.
WHERE HAS ALL THE COURTLY MODESTY GONE?
THE FEW TATTOOS OF YESTER-DECADES USED TO SAY “MOM.”
NOW THE HUMAN BILLBOARDS SAY, “ME, AND MORE ME.”
WE WILL NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT JEWELRY. BIG PAPERWEIGHT SIZED JEWELRY.

ALL TOO MANY ATHLETES ARE NOT SATISFIED WITH MERE SUCCESS.
ACHIEVEMENT IS NOW PUNCTUATED WITH SPIKING, RIM-HANGING, STRUTTING, FIST PUMPING, AND OTHER GALAPAGOSIAN FLOURISHES.

STANDARD ISSUE HANDSHAKES ARE LEFT FOR OLD-TIMER’S GAMES.

NOW IT’S ALL ABOUT HIGH-FIVES, LOW-FIVES, AND CHEST-BUMPS;
ANYTHING TO EXPRESS SUPERIORITY OVER THE PATHETIC OPPONENT.

“ME MAN…YOU WORM! “

THE GRACE IS GONE.

HOWEVER, A NEW GRACE HAS ENTERED THE COMPETITION.

GOD’S GRACE.

DA’ BIG MAN IS IN DA’ ARENA.

A SWELLING NUMBER OF ATHLETES NOW MAKE A PITCH TO THE BIG FAN IN THE SKY BEFORE THE PITCH IS THROWN.
AN INDEX FINGER, OR EVEN TWO, POINTED TOWARD THE SKY OR SKY DOME IS A WAY OF THANKING THE CREATOR FOR THAT EXTRA BASE HIT….AND THE CONTRACT INCENTIVES.

TO ONCE AGAIN MAKE COMPETITION FAIR, WE MUST HAVE A SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND SPORT.
AFTER ALL, A SACRIFICE BUNT IS NOT A SACRAMENT.

NOTE TO THOSE ATHLETES WHO BELIEVE IN THEIR GOD:

IF YOU BELIEVE THAT YOUR GOD IS OMNIPOTENT
(AND WHICH GOD ISN’T?) WHY BOTHER WITH A PHYSICAL DISPLAY?
JUST THINK, AND MAKE A WISH, AND YOUR GOD WILL GET YOUR REQUEST.
KIND'A LIKE A TEXT MESSAGE WITHOUT THE PRETEXT.

AND

DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOUR GOD WANTS TO IMPROVE YOUR BATTING AVERAGE AND RAISE THE OTHER GUY’S ERA?

THE MYTH OF MULTI-TASKING

2009-05-12T17:21:00.002-04:00

COULD WE BE FOOLING OURSELVES INTO BELIEVING THAT WE CAN DO TWO…OR, GASP, EVEN MORE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME?

SURE… WE CAN CHEW GUM AND DO MOST ANTHING SIMULTANEOUSLY.
BUT CHEWING DOUBLE-BUBBLE IS NOT DOING DOUBLE-TASKING.
IT, LIKE MANY ACTIVITIES, ARE NEARLY REFLEX ACTIONS. LOW LEVEL, BRAIN-STEM TASKS.

IN THIS AGE OF ‘INFORMANIA’, WHERE WE WADE IN A SEA OF STIMULATIONS…WE REGULARLY FOCUS ON TWO THINGS AT ONCE.

BUT, DO WE TRULY SUCCEED?
MIGHT WE BE CHEWING GUM AND FOOLING OURSELVES AT THE SAME TIME?

IT’S BEEN SAID THAT WE LIVE IN THE AGE OF
‘CONTINUOUS PARTIAL ATTENTION’ WHERE WE NEVER QUITE SURRENDER OUR MIND TO ANY ONE THING.

( SOME ACTUALLY QUESTION WHETHER WE HAVE RETAINED THE ABLITY TO FOCUS ON EVEN ONE THING AT A TIME, MUCH LESS TWO. BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY. )

THE SPECULATION IS THAT WHEN WE CLAIM TO BE MULTI-TASKING, WE’RE REALLY ALTERNATING OUR ATTENTION, HOWEVER QUICKLY, BETWEEN TWO ACTIVITIES.

A LITTLE DRIVING...A LITTLE TEXTING....A LITTLE DRIVING...

WHAT'S THE MATTERHORN WITH SWITZERLAND?

2009-04-09T18:08:00.001-04:00

TUCKED SWEETLY AMONG THE ALPINE VALLEYS, WHERE YODELERS SIP NESTLES AND THE ALPHORN ECHOES THROUGH CHARMING VILLAGES, SITS UBS.

UBS, AN EFFICIENT LITTLE BANK IN THE LAND OF NEUTRALITY.

WELL, NOT QUITE SO LITTLE.
ACTUALLY, UBS IS THE WORLD’S LARGEST PRIVATE BANK.

IT DOES A FINE BUSINESS IN PART BECAUSE IT OFFERS ITS DEPOSITORS A TIDY PLACE TO STORE CASH WHILE EVADING TAXES.

IN FEBRUARY, THE BANK ADMITTED TO FEDERAL AUTHORITIES ITS INVOLVEMENT IN A CONSPIRACY TO DEFRAUD THE I.R.S. BY HELPING SCORES OF WEALTHY AMERICANS HIDE NEARLY $ 20 BILLION OVERSEAS.

TO MAKE NICE, THE BANK PAID A PENALTY OF $780 MILLION AND REVEALED THE NAMES OF 285 OF ITS 52,000 AMERICAN CLIENTS.

THE FIRST WAS ARRESTED THIS WEEK.
LEGAL PRESSURE MAY COMPEL THE BANK TO DISCLOSE THE REMAINING NAMES.

IT WILL BE INTERESTING TO SEE JUST WHO THESE FINE AMERICAN PATRIOTS ARE.

THE HYBRID ECONOMY

2009-03-15T13:23:00.002-04:00

OUR CONFIDENCE WAS REASSURED WHEN COMMUNISM FLOPPED TWO DECADES AGO.
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A FEW LILLIPUTIAN HOLDOUTS, SUCH AS CUBA AND NORTH KOREA, THE CONCEPT OF A STATE OWNED, CENTRALLY PLANNED ECONOMY NEVER WORKED WELL ONCE IT LEFT THE LABORATORY PAGE.

IT SIMPLY DID NOT FULLY TAKE INTO ACCOUNT MANS’ PROPRIETARY
URGES.

THE SYSTEM PROVIDED NO MOTIVATION BEYOND A CARROT-LESS STICK.
IT PROMISED A CLASSLESS SOCIETY WITH A ONE-RUNG LADDER.
THE COMRADES TRIED TO TURN THE JUNGLE INTO THE PEACEABLE KINGDOM.
THEY FAILED.

CAPITALISM WAS GLOWING FROM THE WINNER’S CIRCLE.

BUT, WOE IS US.
NOW WE DISCOVER THAT A FREE-MARKET ECONOMY IS CURSED WITH SOME IMPERFECTIONS OF ITS OWN.
MOTIVATION CAN EASILY MORPH INTO GREED, AND
OPPORTUNITY CAN BLOSSOM INTO MANIPULATION.
FREE-RANGE INVESTORS COULD DEVELOP WIN-WIN SITUATIONS FOR THEMSELVES, WHILE EVERYONE ELSE WOULD LOSE-LOSE.
BROKERS MADE US BROKE.
“YOU CAN BANK ON IT” BECAME GALLOWS HUMOR.

THE WINNER’S CIRCLE IS NOW EMPTY.

GET READY FOR THE HYBRID.

DASCHLE, MADOFF, MISTER PEANUTS, AND 8TUPLETS

2009-02-14T16:10:00.003-05:00

WHAT DO THEY HAVE IN COMMON?

TOM DASCHLE ---THE ANOINTED WHITE KNIGHT OF HEALTH AND
HUMAN SERVICES--- NEVER MADE IT OUT OF THE STARTING GATE.
SEEMS THAT THE ONLY HUMAN HE WAS SERVICING WAS HIMSELF.
IT’S TOUGH TO PAY TAXES WHEN STRUGGLING WITH A 7-DIGIT INCOME.
HE CALLED IT FORGETFULNESS BUT IT SMELLED LIKE EXCESS.

BERNIE MADOFF--- CONFINED TO HIS PARK AVENUE GULAG---
REGULARLY PLOTS TO SALVAGE SOME OF THE 50 BILLION HE SCAMMED FROM HIS PALS, LEST HE BE INCONVENIENCED TO LIVE-SMALL LIKE THEM.

MISTER PEANUT TAKES THE FIFTH WHEN ASKED ABOUT THE RESULTING DEATHS CAUSED BY HIS DECISION TO RE-ROUTE THE TAINTED GOOBERS RATHER THAN TOSS THEM INTO THE DUMPSTER.

AND, OCTUPLET- MOM, GETTING HERSELF FERTILIZED SO THAT SHE COULD DELIVER 8 MORE BABIES. THE 6 AT HOME WERE LONELY.

WELL…WHAT DO THEY HAVE IN COMMON?

RIGHT- COLLAR CRIME

2009-01-31T15:07:00.002-05:00

“NO ONE IS ABOVE THE LAW”

YEAH. RIGHT!

WE HAVE TWO TYPES OF CRIMES IN AMERICA. WHITE COLLAR AND THE REST.

ALTHOUGH JUSTICE DEMANDS THAT THOSE WHO COMMIT A CRIME MUST DO THE TIME, THE CRIMINALS WHO FELONIZE WITH A PEN NEVER
SEEM TO DO A LONG OR HARD SPELL IN THE STOCKADE.

OUR MOST RECENT WHITE –COLLAR CRIMINAL, WHO
BILKED OTHERS OUT OF $50,000,000,000 ( ACCORDING TO HIS OWN GUESSTIMATE) HAD TO DELIVER A $10 MILLION BOND BEFORE HE WAS FREED TO DO THE PERP-WALK TO HIS $7 MILLION PARK AVENUE “PRISON,” WHERE HE’S BEING HELD UNDER PENT- HOUSE ARREST.

THAT $10 MILLION IS THE MATHEMATICAL EQUIVALENT OF A THUG BEING ORDERED TO PUT UP A $20 BOND AFTER ROBBING A WAREHOUSE OF $100,000 WORTH OF MERCHANDISE.

WHY IS IT THAT THE WHITER THE CRIME THE SOFTER THE TIME?
COULD IT BE THAT THE VERY PEOPLE WHO WRITE OUR LAWS, AS WELL AS THE LAWYERS AND JUDGES WHO ROUND-OUT OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM ARE ALL MEN OF SAME CLOTH?

BARACK TO THE FUTURE

2009-01-07T15:52:00.004-05:00

RARELY, IF EVER, HAS A NEW PRESIDENT BEEN DEALT SO MANY FRONT BURNER PROBLEMS.

A GOING-OUT-OF-BUSINESS WAR IN IRAQ.

A GRAND-REOPENING WAR IN AFGHANISTAN.

AN ECONOMY WHICH THREATENS TO RENAME “THE GREAT DEPRESSION”

“THE FIRST GREAT DEPRESSION.”

AN ENERGY VAMPIRE… HIBERNATING IN THE SHADOWS OF THE RECESSION…WAITING TO RESUME DRAINING OUR NATIONAL WEALTH.

A GLOBE THAT’S GETTING WARMER WHILE THE COLD WAR MAKES A COMEBACK.

THESE ARE MERELY SOME OF THE FOREGROUND ISSUES.

WHILE WE HOPE FOR THE BEST…WE SHOULD NOT
EXPECT BARACK NIRVANA.

ADVICE TO BARAK: IF YOU WANT TO BE THE PRESIDENT FOR TWO TERMS…
GOVERN AS IF YOU ONLY WANT TO BE THE PRESIDENT FOR ONE.

GR$$D

2008-12-21T12:29:00.002-05:00

WE ARE IN A MESS.
WE DID IT TO OURSELVES WITHIN A SPAN OF A FEW GENERATIONS.
IT WAS ECONOMIC-EUGENICS IN REVERSE.
THE PRUDENCE AND THRIFT OF THOSE WHO SURVIVED
THE FIRST DEPRESSION WAS CONSIDERED ECCENTRIC… IF CONSIDERED AT ALL.

WE WANTED EVERYTHING, AND THERE WAS SO MUCH OF EVERYTHING TO BE WANTED.
YOU KNOW THE LIST.

AS OUR FAMILIES GOT SMALLER, OUR HOUSES GOT LARGER.
THE CLOSETS OUR GRANDPARENTS WILLED TO US WOULD NEVER
CONTAIN OUR APPETITES.COM.

LAY-AWAY WENT AWAY.
BEING-IN-THE-RED BECAME THE NEW BLACK.
WALL STREET PROCLAIMED, “CASH IS TRASH!”
WE PLAYED WITH OUR CREDIT CARDS AND WENT ALL IN.

OUR LEADERS PROMISED WHAT WE WANTED THEM TO PROMISE:
THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO SAY “NO” TO… IS “NO” ITSELF.
WE JOKED THAT ‘DENIAL’ WAS A RIVER IN AFRICA.

IT'S NOT.
THE JOKE IS OVER.

MOMMY.......WHAT'S A MILLION?

2008-12-05T13:46:00.002-05:00

IT WASN’T VERY LONG AGO WHEN A MILLION WAS THE GOLD STANDARD.
A MILLION MEANT A LOT.
A RICH GUY WAS A ‘MILLIONAIRE”!
MARYLYN MONROE STARRED IN A MOVIE ABOUT HOW TO MARRY ONE.

WE’D BACK UP OUR CONFIDENCE BY SAYING,
“YOU WANNA BET A MILLION DOLLARS?”

THERE WERE EVEN SONGS ABOUT A MILLION.
A MILLION STARS IN THE SKY
A MILLION TO ONE
AND, THE FAMOUS SONG ABOUT MOTHER, WHICH STARTED OUT WITH:
M IS FOR THE MILLION THINGS SHE GAVE ME

THERE WAS A TV SHOW CALLED "THE MILLIONAIRE"

WASHINGTON HAD ITS MILLION-MAN MARCH.

A MILLION WAS BIG.

NO MORE.
ALMOST OVERNIGHT, THE ‘B’ WORD HAS TAKEN OVER.

FROM BRITTANY TO BIN LADEN

2008-10-05T12:12:00.003-04:00

GET READY FOR UGLY.

THE McCAIN CAMP HAS GRIMLY DECODED THE FRESHEST POLLS AND DISCOVERED THAT AMERICANS ACTUALLY FRET OVER PAYING THEIR BILLS.

IN A MAD FRENZY, THEY HAVE DESPERATELY CONCLUDED THAT ANOINTING OBAMA AS THE NEW BRITTANY FAILED.... LIKE....WELL.... MISERABLY.

HECK, THEY EVEN HAVE THEIR OWN BRITTANY THERE NOW, YOU BETCHA ALSO.

THEIR FIELD POSITION IS 4TH AND LONG..

HERE COMES THEIR ‘HAIL ALLAH’ PASS.
OBAMA AS AN AMERICAN-HATING, ELITE, MOSLEM, TERRORIST SYMPATHIZER.

THE BRIDGE-LOAN TO NOWHERE

2008-09-24T21:44:00.001-04:00

ATTENTION:

THE FOLKS WHO BROUGHT US “THERE IS NO FREE LUNCH” ARE NOW TELLING US THAT THERE IS NO FREE MARKET.

ALL THE FINE PRINT IN THEIR ESOTERIC DERIVATIVE INSTRUMENTS WAS, APPARENTLY NOT SO FINE.

THEY NOW APPROACH, TOP HAT IN HAND, LOOKING FOR A HANDOUT.
THEY TELL US THAT IT’S FOR OUR OWN GOOD. IT WILL SAVE US FROM THE DEBTS OF MASS DESTRUCTION THEY CREATED.
THEY RECITE THEIR VERSION OF THE ‘POTTERY BARN ‘PRINCIPLE:
WE BROKE IT AND YOU OWN IT.

THE BONUS-BABIES WHO WORSHIPED REAGANOMICS, (GOVERNMENT IS NOT THE ANSWER. GOVERNMENT IS THE PROBLEM.) ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY GRASPING THEIR OWN BOOT STRAPS.

NOW, THE TRICKLE-DOWN- SUPPLY- SIDERS ARE ASKING US TO DO SOME TRICKLE-UP SUPPLYING.
THESE ECONOMIC FRONTIERSMEN HAVE COME SOBBING HOME TO MAMA, ASKING HER TO CO-SIGN, AND TELL THEM THE STORY OF THE LITTLE PIGGY WHO WENT TO THE STOCK MARKET.

THE CHEESE WON'T STAND ALONE

2008-09-11T17:35:00.002-04:00

THE BLAZING POPULARITY OF JOHN McCAIN’S RUNNING MATE, SARAH PALIN, HAS CREATED A QUANDARY FOR THE TOP OF THE TICKET.

NAMELY…WE MAY NEVER AGAIN SEE MR. McCAIN CAMPAIGN WITHOUT HER BY HIS SIDE.
ALTHOUGH SHE WILL APPEAR ALONE, (AS SHE DID RECENTLY ), HIS SOLO DAYS MIGHT BE OVER.

IT SEEMS THAT PRE-PALIN McCAIN WAS DRAWING MODEST-SIZED CROWDS.

NOW, HUGE CROWDS TURN OUT SINCE PALIN JOINED THE TICKET AND SHARES THE PODIUM.

SO, IF THEY WERE TO CAMPAIGN SEPARATELY, IT MIGHT PROVE TO BE TOO EMBARRASSING TO HAVE PALIN DRAW THOUSANDS WHILE McCAIN SPEAKS TO A GAGGLE OF SUPPORTERS.

MAKE BELIEVE MAKE-OVERS

2008-09-06T13:55:00.004-04:00

WHAT IF THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES AND THEIR SIDE KICKS
HAD MAKE OVERS.

LET'S PLAY A GAME OF PRETEND...(AS IF WE WEREN'T ALREADY)...AND START FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN.
REMEMBER BACK THAT FAR?

IN OUR GAME, ALL THE PLAYERS KEEP THEIR POLITICAL PHILOSOPHIES, THEIR INTELLECT, AND THEIR ISSUES.
WE'LL JUST MAKE A FEW CHANGES.

LET'S START BY REIMAGINING BARAK OBAMA, NOT AS A TALL, THIN, ATTRACTIVE, BLACK MAN.
HERE, BARAK IS A BARNEY FRANK- LIKE, STUBBY AND THICK, WHITE GUY WITH CROOKED TEETH AND WATERY EYES. WE'LL THROW IN A BAR-CODE HAIRSTYLE...(THE 'DO' THAT PRE-9/11 RUDOLPH GIULIANI SPORTED.)

HERE JOHN McCAIN HAS FUNCTIONING SHOULDERS BECAUSE HE WAS NEVER SHOT DOWN AND NEVER SPENT A MOMENT IN THE HANOI HILTON. OUR JOHN CAN EFFORTLESSLY HIGH-FIVE FOLKS AND BRISKLY DESCEND STAIRS WITH THE BEST OF 'EM.
LET'S KNOCK TEN YEARS OFF HIS AGE JUST TO BALANCE THE ABSENCE OF HIS P.O.W. MANTRA.

OUR SARAH PALIN IS NOT AN ATTRACTIVE WHITE WOMAN WITH DESIGNER FRAMES AND SUBTLE STREAKING IN HER THICK HAIR.
OUR SARAH IS SAM PALIN.
HE'S THE OBESE BLACK GOVERNOR OF ALASKA.
SAM LOOKS LIKE AL SHARPTON DID DURING THE 80's.
HE WEARS GLASSES, BUT THEY'RE BIFOCALS FROM LENS-CRAFTERS.
HE HAS THAT COARSE UNDER- THE- JAW SKIN CONDITION WHICH IS AGONY TO SHAVE.

JOE BIDEN BECOMES A FAST-TALKING GUY WITH REFRIGERATOR- BRIGHT CAPPED TEETH AND HAIR PLUGS WHICH RESEMBLE A PORTUGUESE CORK FARM.
KINDA' LIKE............WELL...........JOE BIDEN.

GAME OVER. ALTERATIONS FINISHED.
IF THE MAKE-OVERS WERE REAL, WOULD THEY MAKE A DIFFERENCE?

PUTTING THE CONCEPT IN CONCEPTION

2008-08-18T12:38:00.005-04:00

LIFE DOES NOT BEGIN AT CONCEPTION. IT BEGINS WAY BEFORE.
EACH PARTNER-LESS EGG IS THROBBING WITH LIFE AS IT WAITS FOR PRINCE CHARMING TO COME SQUIGGLING ALONG.

IN TURN, EACH SPERM CELL PADDLES ABOUT--- SEARCHING FOR A LONELY EGG--- IN HOPES OF BECOMING A FULLY-REALIZED PERSON.
UNLIKE BASEBALL, THE BATTING AVERAGE IS EITHER 1,000 OR 0.
NO MISTER-IN-BETWEEN.

THUS, LIFE DOESN'T BEGIN...IT MERELY CONTINUES.

BUT LET'S NOT QUIBBLE.
LET'S AGREE THAT LIFE BEGINS AT CONCEPTION.

CONSIDER THIS CONCEPT:

AN AGRESSIVE FIRE BREAKS OUT IN A DUEL-PURPOSE BUILDING.
THE BUILDING HOUSES A FERTILITY CLINIC WHICH STORES FROZEN EMBRYOS.
IT'S ALSO THE LOCATION OF A DAY-CARE CENTER FOR INFANTS AND TODDLERS.

THE FIREMAN RACE INTO THE ADVANCING BLAZE.
DO THEY TRY TO SAVE THE CHILDREN OR THE EMBRYOS?

ONE LIGHT TO MONTAUK

2008-07-01T17:36:00.003-04:00

THERE USED TO BE ONE TRAFFIC LIGHT ALONG THE 71 MILES BETWEEN PORT JEFFERSON AND MONTAUK POINT.
THERE ARE NOW DOZENS.
WE TEND TO BARELY NOTICE WHEN THINGS CHANGE IN SLOW INCREMENTS….ONE LIGHT AT A TIME.
IT’S LIKE BLOWING THE DUST OFF AN OLD PHOTO ALBUM AND BEING SHOCKED AT THE CONTRASTS….ACCUMULATED CHANGES THAT OCCURRED ONE DAY AT A TIME.
AMERICA IS CHANGING LIKE THAT.…ONE LIGHT AT A TIME.

THE WAY WE LIVE...OUR LIVING STANDARD...IS AN EXAMPLE.
THE ONE WAGE-EARNER FAMILY HAS SLOWLY EVOLVED INTO A TWO
WAGE-EARNER FAMILY. CHILD NUTURING HAS BEEN OUTSOURCED.
THE OLD FRONT PORCHES GAVE WAY TO I-PODS, LEAVING US PROGRESSIVELY ISOLATED.
THE HUNDREDS OF CHANNELS AVAILABLE ON OUR HIGH-DEFINITION TV'S HAVE SHATTERED THE NATIONAL ELECTRONIC HEARTH.

AND NOW, OIL, A GALLON AT A TIME, IS CHANGING THE WAY WE'LL BE LIVING OUR LIVES.

COMING CLEANER

2008-05-31T15:35:00.003-04:00

SCOTT McCLELLAN IS PIMP-TOURING A BOOK ABOUT WHAT THE
AWAKE –AMONG- US KNEW ALL ALONG…THE ADMINISTRATION WASN’T JUST TORTURING PEOPLE. THEY WERE WATER BOARDING THE TRUTH.
THE BOOK’S TITLE, “WHAT HAPPENED”, IS ODDLY REMINISCENT OF THE ELDER DOCTOR’S JOURNAL, “HOW I DID IT” FROM “YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN”.
EVEN NOW, HE CONTINUES TO HAVE THAT QUAYLE –CAUGHT- IN- THE HEADLIGHTS LOOK, AS HE, LIKE COLIN POWELL, REGRETTABLY ALL TOO LATE, TRIES TO WASH THE STENCH FROM HIS HANDS.
LIKE POWELL, McCLENNAN HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO RIGHT THE COURSE HIS COUNTRY WAS TAKING, INSTEAD OF STAYING THE COURSE.

MORAL HAZARD

2008-03-17T17:27:00.003-04:00

DEFINITION: Moral hazard arises because an individual or institution does not bear the full consequences of its actions, and acts less carefully than it otherwise would, leaving another party to bear some responsibility for the consequences of those actions.

GET USED TO IT.
MORAL HAZARD IS AN ECONOMIC TERM WE’LL BE HEARING MORE FREQUENTLY AS WE CONTINUE OUR SLIDE DOWN A FRICTIONLESS SLOPE.

IT ALL STARTED WHEN WE LOST THE ABILITY TO SAY ‘NO’ TO OURSELVES.
NO TO SUV’s. NO TO Mc MANSIONS. NO TO A HOBBY-HORSE WAR.
NO TO THE HOME-EQUITY-AS - PIGGY- BANK- BINGEING.
NO TO OIL.
NO TO FLIPPING REAL ESTATE AS IF IT WERE AN OMELET.
NO TO CORPORATE SLIGHT-OF-UNDERHAND.

WE BOUGHT INTO A 'MORE-IS-MORE' FUND WITHOUT HEDGING OUR BETS.
OUR INSATIABLE CITIZENS HAVE ABANDONED THE CONCEPT OF SELF-DENIAL.
LAY-AWAY AND RAINY-DAY -THINKING ARE AS QUAINT AS A BLACK DIAL TELEPHONE.
WE WANTED WHAT WE WANTED AND WE WANTED IT NOW!
WHAT COULD GO WRONG! IT WAS A WIN-NO LOSE EQUATION.

IF WE MADE A BAD CHOICE WE'D GET BAILED OUT. NO PROBLEMO.
ACTUALLY…PROBLEMO.
WE’RE FAST RUNNING OUT OF BAILERS.

HIS STORY REPEATS ITSELF

2008-01-20T16:34:00.000-05:00

GEORGE W BUSH BROUGHT US, "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" AND, "THEY'RE IN THE LAST THROES." HE ASSURED US THAT THE WAR WAS JUST SWIMMING ALONG.

WELL, MAYBE NOT SWIMMING. MAYBE DROWNING.
HE ORDERED A SURGE TO CONTROL THE VIOLENCE.

ON DECEMBER 4, 2007 BUSH SAID, “THE BASICS IN THE ECONOMY ARE GOOD. INFLATION IS LOW, JOB CREATION IS GOOD, INTEREST RATES ARE LOW, PRODUCTIVITY IS UP, EXPORTS ARE UP. IN OTHER WORDS, THE BASIC UNDERPINNINGS OF THE ECONOMY ARE STRONG.”

UH OH....SOUNDS LIKE SURGE-TIME.
YES, GET READY FOR THE NEWEST IN SURGES....THE ECONOMY SURGE!

ABOUT ONE MONTH LATER, ON JANUARY 17, 2008, PRESIDENT BUSH SPOKE WITH CONGRESSIONAL LEADERS, AGREEING UPON AN ECONOMIC RESCUE
PACKAGE, AND SAID THAT IT IS, "CRITICALLY IMPORTANT"
THAT A STIMULUS EFFORT TAKE EFFECT QUICKLY."

A BRIEF HISTORY OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION

2008-01-10T16:55:00.000-05:00

THE FIRST WAVE

THERE WERE NATIVE PEOPLE LIVING HERE.
THREE SHIPS FULL OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS CAME AND RENAMED THE NATIVES.
THEY CALLED THEM INDIANS.

THE SECOND WAVE

MORE, ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FROM NORTHERN EUROPE CAME AROUND 1620. THEY LIKED WHAT THEY SAW.
AFTER HAVING AN HISTORIC FEAST WITH THE INDIANS, THEY TOOK THEIR LANDS.
THE INDIANS WHO RESISTED WERE CONSIDERED TERRORISTS AND WERE KILLED.

THE THIRD WAVE

STARTING IN 1680 MORE ILLEGALS CAME TO THE “NEW WORLD.”
WELL, THEY DIDN’T EXACTLY COME. THEY WERE CAPTURED IN AFRICA AND FORCED TO COME SO THEY COULD DO THE HARD WORK THAT THE SECOND WAVE PEOPLE DIDN’T WANT TO DO.

IT WAS GETTING CROWDED.

THE ILLEGALS STARTED A WESTERN EXPANSION MOVEMENT BECAUSE THEY WANTED MORE LAND.
IN 1830, THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS PASSED A LAW
CALLED “THE INDIAN REMOVAL ACT.”
IT REMOVED INDIANS.

THE ILLEGALS STILL NEEDED MORE LAND.
THEY WANTED TEXAS WHICH WAS OWNED BY MEXICO.
MEXICO RESISTED.
A WAR WAS FOUGHT.
MEXICO LOST TEXAS AND OTHER LAND TOO.

THE FOURTH WAVE

ILLEGALS FROM WHAT IS LEFT OF MEXICO CAME.
THE DESCENDANTS OF THE FIRST THREE WAVES WANT THE LAST WAVE TO LEAVE.

CAN'T-IDATES

2007-11-15T11:39:00.000-05:00

A COUNTRY IS NEVER WITHOUT PROBLEMS.
HOWEVER, A COUNTRY WITHOUT SOLUTIONS FOR ITS PROBLEMS IS IN TROUBLE.

OUR SYSTEM OF SELECTING AND ELECTING A PRESIDENT IS FAILING US.
THE CANDIDATES CAN’T PROPOSE REAL SOLUTIONS TO THE REAL PROBLEMS.
WE WON’T LET THEM.
AND THEY DARE NOT RISK OFFENDING US.

AMERICA’S CANDIDATES HAVE PROGRESSIVELY BECOME ADDICTED TO CASH, PANDERING, LOBBYISTS, POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEES, HANDLERS, POLLS, FOCUS GROUPS, SHORT TERM THINKING, AND A SOUND-BITE MEDIA.
THEY ARE BOXED IN, AND THAT’S WHERE THEY DO THEIR THINKING.
TRYING TO SOLVE THE NATION’S PROBLEMS WOULD BE POLITICAL SUICIDE.
WHAT CANDIDATE WOULD WANT THAT?

'TORTURE....OR NO TORTURE'

2007-10-27T20:08:00.000-04:00

SEVERAL PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES, AS WELL AS JUDGE MICHAEL MUKASEY
--- PRESIDENT BUSH’S NOMINEE FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL---
SEEM TO BELIEVE THAT STRESS POSITIONING, SLEEP-DEPRIVATION, AND WATER BOARDING ARE NOT TORTURE, BUT RATHER, MERELY VIGOROUS INTERROGATION TECHNIQUES.
THE DEBATE RAGES ON.

PERHAPS WE COULD PUT THEIR OPINIONS TO THE [PARDON THE EXPRESSION] ACID TEST.

TO TRULY SETTLE THIS FESTERING CONTROVERSY, WE MIGHT PROPOSE THE CREATION OF A NEW REALITY SHOW CALLED
‘TORTURE OR NO TORTURE’.

EACH OF THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES, AS WELL AS JUDGE MUKASEY, WOULD APPEAR AS A CONTESTANT ON THE PRIME TIME SHOW.
EACH CONTESTANT WOULD GO THOUGH A BATTERY OF ‘CHALLENGES’, SUCH AS STRESS POSITIONING AND WATER BOARDING.
AFTER EACH EVENT THE CONTESTANTS COULD DECIDE, WITH FIRST-HAND EXPERIENCE, WHETHER SUCH TECHNIQUES WERE TORTURE OR NOT.
I’M CERTAIN THAT THE RATINGS WOULD BE HEFTY AND IT MIGHT BE EDUCATIONAL TO BOOT.

LOUIE LOUIE..............................VUITTON

2007-09-01T15:03:00.000-04:00

LUXURY IS NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE.

IT ONCE MEANT A COSTLY ITEM THAT WAS SLOWLY CREATED BY
A MASTER ARTISAN WHO EMPLOYED ONLY THE FINEST MATERIALS.
THE LABEL SAID ‘SPECIAL’, AND THE RESULTING MERCHANDISE WAS JUST THAT.

LUXURY WAS EXPENSIVE.

IT WAS EASY TO TELL WHO HAD WEALTH. THE LABELS SPOKE.

A RECENTLY PUBLISHED BOOK, DELUXE, DECLARES THAT THE AGE OF LUXURY IS OVER.

IT SEEMS THAT SOMETIME DURING THE LAST FEW DECADES, SOME CORPORATE PROFITEERS BOUGHT OUT THE HOUSES OF LUXE, SUCH AS LOUIE VUITTON, AND DIOR, AMONG OTHERS.
THE BUSINESS FOCUS WENT FROM THE PRIVILEGED BLOODLINE TO THE MIDDLE-MARKET BOTTOM-LINE.

THESE CONGLOMERATES DISCARDED THE CRAFTSMEN, AND STARTED CHURNING OUT THE PRODUCT WITH THIRD WORLD WORKERS USING SECOND-RATE MATERIALS.

THEY DID KEEP ONE GRAND TRADITION…
{THE ONE THING SO MANY FOLKS CRAVED}
… THE “MYSTIQUE OF THE GREAT BRAND NAMES”.
YES. THEY SALVAGED THE LABELS.

REALIZING THAT THOSE LABELS WERE AN UNDEREXPLOITED ASSET, THEY EXPANDED THEIR PRODUCT LINES TO INCLUDE PERFUME, HANDBAGS, BATH TOWELS, SUNGLASSES, SNEAKERS, AND SUCH.
ALL HAD THE VALUABLE LOGO CONSPICUOUSLY DISPLAYED.

THEY PUT THEIR MONEY, NOT INTO THE MERCHANDISE, BUT, INTO ADVERTISING.
WITH THE HELP OF MADISON AVENUE, HOLLYWOOD STARS, AND PRODUCT PLACEMENTS, THE PUBLIC CLAMORED FOR MORE.

MUCH OF THE MASS-CLASS LONGING TO LIVE LA VIDA LOGO COULD NOW BUY THE STATUS SYMBOL ITEMS WHICH WERE BEING MASS-PRODUCED.
FEW COMPLAINED THAT THE GOODS WERE NOT SO GOOD.
THEY GOT WHAT THEY WERE PAYING FOR…A PIECE OF THE CHIC DREAM.

OTHER ENTREPRENEURS, REALIZING THAT THERE WAS A TREMENDOUS MARKET FOR IMAGE WITHOUT QUALITY, STARTED BANGING OUT KNOCK-OFFS OF ALL THE DESIGNER WARES, THEREBY CREATING A COUNTERFEIT LUXURY GOODS MARKET.

THE CONSUMER---THE CONSPICUOUS CONSUMER---THINKS, ' WHY BUY THE EXPENSIVE, OVER-RATED PRODUCT, WHEN THE CHEAP CRAP HAS THE SAME PRESTIGE?

9-11©

2007-08-25T14:42:00.000-04:00

THE ADMINISTRATION SHOULD BE GRANTED A COPYRIGHT ON 9-11.
IT'S ONLY RIGHT.
THEY SHOULD ALSO BE AWARDED A PATENT ON "THE GLOBAL WAR ON TERROR."
IT SHOULD BE REGISTERED IMMEDIATELY,
WITHOUT ANY OF THAT 'PENDING' NONSENSE.
THEY EARNED IT.

YES...WE KNOW IN 1994, DICK CHENEY SAID THAT OVERTHROWING THE GOVERNMENT OF IRAQ WOULD CREATE A VACUUM WHICH COULD ONLY BE FILLED BY A QUAGMIRE.

BUT THAT WAS SO 9-10.

AND YES, ALTHOUGH WE KNOW THAT A FEW YEARS BACK, PRESIDENT BUSH STRIDENTLY CLAIMED THAT THE WAR IN IRAQ WAS IN NO WAY LIKE VIETNAM,
HE RECENTLY POINTED OUT THE SIMILARITY OF THE TWO CONFLICTS BY CLAIMING THAT A PREMATURE WITHDRAWAL FROM IRAQ WOULD BE JUST LIKE OUR WITHDRAWAL FROM VIETNAM.

WHO COULD QUIBBLE?

ALAS, THE GOOD GENERAL PETRAEUS WILL SOON BE SHARING HIS EVALUATION OF THE SITUATION WITH US.

SNEAK PREVIEW: ALTHOUGH THE IRAQI GOVERNMENT IS FALLING SHORT,
WE HAVE THE GREATEST MILITARY IN THE
WORLD AND OUR BRAVE SOLDIERS ARE AMAZING.
THE SURGE IS GAINING GROUND.
WE'RE SECURING THE COUNTRY.
WE STILL HAVE SOME PROBLEMS, BUT WE MUST CONTINUE
WITH OUR EFFORTS WHILE WE HAVE THE MOMENTUM.

ONE GUESS IS THAT THE SURGE WILL LAST JUST LONG ENOUGH SO THAT THE WAR CAN BE RE-GIFTED TO THE NEXT ADMINISTRATION.

DIPLOMAT IN WAITING

2007-07-11T16:50:00.000-04:00

PRESIDENT BUSH, AND HIS FAITHFUL PUP, PRIME MINISTER TOTO BLAIR, DID EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO NEGLECT THE FESTERING ISSUES BETWEEN THE ISRAELIS AND THE PALESTINIANS.
SO, NATURALLY, THE FORMER PRIME MINISTER HAS BEEN APPOINTED TO HIS NEW ROLE OF MIDDLE EAST PEACEMAKER.

IN 18 MONTHS, GEORGE BUSH WILL STAND DOWN FROM BEING PRESIDENT OF THE HOMELAND.
A PERFECT POSITION FOR HIM WOULD BE THE UNITED STATES AMBASSADOR TO IRAQ.

BY SETTING UP RESIDENCE IN BAGHDAD, HE COULD CONTINUE HIS PROJECT OF INSTALLING DEMOCRACY IN THE COUNTRY.

GAS

2007-05-30T10:27:00.000-04:00

THAT GUY WITH THE SUBURBAN TANK HUMS PAST . WE SMILE AT HIS RHINO-GUARDS WHILE THINKING OF THE CASH HE POURS INTO HIS ROLLING ZIP CODE JUST TO GET IT TO THE MALL WHERE IT OVERWHELMS A PARKING SPACE.
WE’RE AMUSED BY THE MONEY HE FEEDS INTO HIS PETROLEUM WOOD-CHIPPER, MERELY TO RIDE HIGH AND WIDE WHILE PLAYING ROAD WARRIOR.
BUT, THE ROAD WARRIORS ARE NOT JUST SPENDING THEIR OWN MONEY AT THE SERVICE STATION.
THEY’RE SPENDING OURS AS WELL.
ITS BASIC SUPPLY AND DEMAND REALLY.
AS THEIR GUZZLING INCREASES DEMAND ---AND IT DOES--- THEY PUSH THE PRICE UP FOR EVERYBODY.
SO, WHILE THEY PAY FOR USING MORE GALLONS, WE ALL PAY A HIGHER PRICE FOR EACH GALLON WE USE.

TWO SOLDIERS...TWO LIES

2007-04-25T15:21:00.000-04:00

OUR GOVERNMENT PRESENTED US WITH TWO BATTLE HEROES

THEY MIGHT BE THE ONLY ENLISTED NAMES WE RECOGNIZE FROM THE WAR.

PAT TILLMAN, THE FOOTBALL PLAYER AND JESSICA LYNCH, THE LITTLE BLONDE.

WE WERE TOLD THAT PAT TILLMAN DIED DURING A FIERCE BATTLE WITH THE ENEMY. OUR GOVERNMENT TOLD US THAT HE WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL WHERE DOCTORS FAILED IN THEIR EFFORTS TO SAVE HIM. HIS FAMILY WAS AWARDED HIS SILVER STAR DURING A TELEVISED MEMORIAL.

WE WERE TOLD THAT JESSICA LYNCH, ALTHOUGH WOUNDED, KEPT FIRING HER RIFLE AT THE ENEMY UNTIL SHE WAS CAPTURED.
THE PENTAGON PRESENTED HER AS OUR RAMBO FROM WEST VIRGINIA. SHE WAS PARADED ABOUT.

BOTH STORIES WERE DELIBERATE LIES.
PAT TILLMAN WAS KILLED BY FRIENDLY-FIRE. A LARGE PART OF HIS HEAD WAS BLOWN OFF. A FELLOW RANGER, WHO WITNESSED THE EVENT, WAS WARNED TO NOT REVEAL THE TRUTH.

JESSICA LYNCH NEVER FIRED HER WEAPON. SHE WAS FOUND UNCONSCIOUS AND TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL WHERE THE IRAQIS TRIED TO TURN HER OVER TO THE AMERICANS.

PAT TILLMAN’S BROTHER, KEVIN, AND JESSICA LYNCH TESTIFIED BEFORE A CONGRESSIONAL HEARING.
THEY SAID OUR GOVERNMENT DEALT IN INTENTIONAL FALSEHOODS AND DELIBERATE AND CAREFUL MISREPRESENTATIONS.

THE TWO OF THEM VOLUNTEERED AND PUT THEIR LIVES AT RISK, AND YET, SOME THOUGHT THAT WAS NOT HEROIC ENOUGH.
SO, LIES WERE TOLD.
BUT FOR WHOSE PURPOSES?

BARACK O BOMBER

2007-02-08T17:27:00.000-05:00

THE SENATORIAL CAMPAIGN OF SENATOR HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON HAS RECENTLY RELEASED, FOR DISTRIBUTION, ASTONISHING INFORMATION ABOUT SENATOR BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA’S BACKGROUND.

IT SEEMS THAT, AS A CHILD, MISTER OBAMA WAS ENROLLED IN A RADICAL PRE-KINDERGARTEN SCHOOL IN INDONESIA, WHERE HE MAJORED IN COUNTING AND TERRORISM.
HAMIDA AL-ATTAS WAS THE CLASS-MOTHER. HER SON, OSAMA BIN LADEN WAS LITTLE BARACK’S BESTEST FRIEND.
CLEVERLY, LITTLE BARAK CHANGED HIS SURNAME FROM O BOMBER.

DURING THE FOLLOWING YEAR, HE LAUNDERED FUNDS FOR THE TALIBAN FROM HIS LEMONADE STAND WHICH WAS STAFFED BY HIS MANY INTERRACIAL OFFSPRING.

SENATOR OBAMA’S STAFF FOUGHT BACK BY REVEALING THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY HILLARY CLINTON WHO MURDERED JONBENET RAMSEY, BECAUSE THE LITTLE SHOWGIRL REJECTED MRS. CLINTON’S PERSISTENT AMOROUS ADVANCES.

BOTH STAFFS ARE NEGOTIATING A ‘CEASE-FIRE’ FOR THE SAKE OF THE HOMELAND.

SEE.
ANYONE CAN WRITE ANYTHING. WITH OUR ELECTRONIC ‘PENCILS’, LITTLE PYROMANIAC BRUSHFIRES CAN BADLY BURN PEOPLE AND LEAVE SERIOUS SCAR TISSUE.

EXTRA...EXTRA...READ ALL ABOUT IT!

2007-01-27T16:36:00.000-05:00

AFTER THE FIRST SEMESTER, AS BUSH’S NEED FOR THE TUTOR WAS LESSENED, THE NEOs TOLD CHENEY TO FALL ON HIS AORTA SO THAT THEY COULD IMPLANT THEIR NEXT PRESIDENTIAL SELECTION DEEP INTO HIS CODE-RED LEATHER SWIVEL CHAIR. THROW ONE CLOT FOR THE GIPPER!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED MR. VICE PRESIDENT!
NOW GO AWAY.

CHENEY REFUSED.
‘LOOK HOW FAR I GOT YOU DAMN INGRATES! I CREATED A WAR FOR YOU! I REWROTE THE CONSTITUTION! I’M NOT GOING HOME TO MENACE THE DOG FROM THE LA-Z-BOY!”
THERE WERE MORE WARS TO BE WAGED; MORE PRINCIPLES TO BE TORQUED.

NOTHING STOOD IN HIS WAY. MANIPULATIONS, DISTORTIONS, EVASIONS, AND LIES ROLLED OFF HIM LIKE WATER ON A DUCK-HUNTER’S BACK, AS THE INVERTEBRATE PRESS WAS PEEKING FROM ITS SPIDER HOLE.
ALTHOUGH HE WAS THE WEAKEST PRESIDENT IN AMERICAN HISTORY, HE WAS NOT IN HIS LAST THROES.

BUT WAIT!
AS THE SCOOTER LIBBY TRIAL TAKES SHAPE, WE MAY DISCOVER THAT MOST OF THE COOKIE CRUMBS ARE ON CHENEY’S LIPS.
WHILE THIS IS THE SAME OL’ CHENEY, THIS IS NOT THE SAME OL’ PUBLIC. WHY, IF THE PUBLIC COULD SPEAK, THEY’D SAY SOMETHING LIKE, ‘I’VE HAD IT UP TO HERE!” (Holding their hand as high as the Canadian border).

THE CITIZEN ANGER PERFORMS CPR ON THE MEDIA, WHO REMOVE THEIR FRILLY LACE GLOVES AND HOUND THE ADMINISTRATION FOR ANSWERS AND ACCOUNTABILITY.

BUSH FUMBLES.
NO…… NOT THE REGULAR FUMBLING…… HE REALLY FUMBLES.

CHENEY IS FORCED TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH HIS DOG.
THE NEO’s TRY TO MAKE LEMONADE. THEY REPLACE HIM WITH THE KINDEST, SWEETEST, MOST HONORABLE STAND-IN THEY CAN FIND…. NOT EASY.
THE DECIDERS---THE VOTERS----STAND UP AS THE STAND-IN STANDS-DOWN.

SADDAM, GERALD, AND DUSTIN

2007-01-03T17:21:00.000-05:00

AS 2006 ENDED, SO DID THREE LIVES.
69 YEAR OLD SADDAM HUSSEIN’S FINAL MOMENT WAS A BIG MEDIA EVENT.
THE MEMORIAL TO GERALD FORD, AGE 93, SEEMED TO LAST LONGER THAN HIS PRESIDENCY.
DUSTIN DONICA, AGE 22, MOST LIKELY HAD HIS BODY DELIVERED TO DOVER AIR FORCE BASE IN THE DEEP AND DARK HOURS OF NIGHT.
LIKE THE 2,999 BEFORE HIM.

SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS

2006-12-31T12:25:00.000-05:00

IN VIOLATION OF INTERNATIONAL LAW HE INVADED A SOVEREIGN NATION. HE LIED TO HIS OWN PEOPLE.
HIS POLICIES CAUSED THE DEATHS OF THOUSANDS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE, MANY OF THEM CHILDREN. HIS MILITARY TORTURED AND ASSASSINATED PEOPLE. HE IMPRISIONED PEOPLE WITHOUT DUE PROCESS. HE WASTED THE RESOURCES OF HIS OWN NATION TO SATISFY HIS VISION, WHICH HE CLAIMS WAS DIRECTED BY GOD.

ENDING THE SHOOTOUT

2006-11-22T12:17:00.000-05:00

SECOND AMENDMENT

A WELL REGULATED MILITIA, BEING NECESSARY TO THE SECURITY OF A FREE STATE, THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS, SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED.

WHAT DID ARMS MEAN IN 1791? WHAT DO ARMS MEAN TODAY?
THE BATTLE OF THE SECOND AMENDMENT SHOULD END. WE SHOULD DECLARE THE NRA THE WINNER.
CONFIDENT THAT THE NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION AND OTHER SIMILAR ORGANIZATIONS COME FROM A THOUGHTFUL PLACE, AMERICA, WITH 200 MILLION GUNS ALREADY IN PRIVATE HANDS, SHOULD LET THOSE WHO CARE THE MOST ABOUT THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS DECIDE THE LIMITS, IF ANY OF THE SECOND AMENDMENT.
THE NRA, FREE OF THREATS FROM AN OPPOSITION, COULD RELAX AND FORMULATE A NATIONAL POLICY. THEY COULD DECIDE JUST WHAT ‘ARMS’ MEANS IN TODAY’S AMERICA AND WHO SHOULD OR SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO BEAR THEM.
ALL ARMS ISSUES SUCH AS LICENSING, SAFETY LOCKS, WAITING PERIODS, AND BACKGROUND CHECKS, ETC., SHOULD CEASE TO BE CONTENTIOUS, BUT RATHER, RESOLVED BY THE NRA ITSELF, WITHOUT OPPOSITION.
WITH SO MANY GUNS ALREADY CIRCULATING IN AMERICA, MORE WOULD HARDLY MATTER. PERHAPS BY RESPECTING THE JUDGMENT OF GUN ENTHUSIASTS, THEY MIGHT FEEL LIBERATED ENOUGH TO DEVELOP A SOBER AND RESPONSIBLE INTERPRETATION OF THE SECOND AMENDMENT.
AMERICA COULD MOVE ON TO MORE IMPORTANT ISSUES.

LISTENING TO THE ENEMY

2006-10-18T11:58:00.000-04:00

FROM PRESIDENT BUSH DURING HIS PRESS CONFERENCE 10/11/06

“And as commander in chief of the United States military, and as a person working to secure this country, I take the words of the enemy very seriously, and so should the American people….
And it's essential that we listen to the words of the enemy if we want to protect the American people. “

ON THIS RARE OCCASION , I AGREE WITH THE PRESIDENT. UNFORTUNATELY, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE NEVER GIVEN AN OPPORTUNITY TO HEAR THE WORDS OF THE ENEMY.
IMAGINE A TOWN HALL TYPE MEETING WHERE THOSE WORDS COULD BE AIRED.

FUZZY WUZZY MATH

2006-10-13T15:02:00.000-04:00

THE FOLLOWING IS A Q AND A WITH PRESIDENT BUSH THIS WEEK.

Q: … American and Iraqi health officials today released a report saying that 655,000 Iraqis have died since the Iraq war.That figure is 20 times the figure that you cited in December at 30,000. Do you care to amend or update your figure?

BUSH: No, I don't consider it a credible report. Neither does General Casey and neither do Iraqi officials.
I do -- I do know that a lot of innocent people have died, and that troubles me. And it grieves me. And I applaud the Iraqis for their courage in the face of violence.
I am, you know, amazed that this is a society which so wants to be free that they're willing to -- you know, that there's a level of violence that they tolerate.
And it's now time for the Iraqi government to work hard to bring security in neighborhoods so people can feel -- can feel, you know, at peace.
No question it's violent. But this report is one -- they put it out before. It was pretty well -- the methodology is pretty well discredited.
… But I, you know, talk to people like General Casey. And, of course, the Iraqi government put out a statement talking about the report. I, you know, I stand by the figure a lot of innocent people have lost their life. 600,000 or whatever they guessed at is just, it's not credible.

SINCE PRESIDENT BUSH IS SAVING THE HOMELAND AND PERHAPS THE , YOU KNOW, WORLD, I SEE NO REASON FOR, YOU KNOW, FUZZY MATH OR DEFENSIVE NITPICKING.

WAS HENNY PENNY RIGHT?

2006-09-19T16:14:00.000-04:00

“ I picked up a newspaper today and I couldn't believe it. I read eight headlines that talked about chaos, violence, unrest. And it just was Henny-Penny, "the sky is falling."

DONALD RUMSFELD

NOVEMBER, 2002

“This struggle has been called a clash of civilizations. In truth, it is a struggle for civilization. “

GEORGE W BUSH

SEPTEMBER, 2006

HOW SAFE

2006-09-09T14:28:00.000-04:00

THERE ARE 19 AGAIN. ALL MEN. ALL MIDDLE EASTERN.
THEIR PLANNING IS FINISHED.
THEY BREAK INTO 8 GROUPS OF TWO AND 1 GROUP OF 3.
9 TEAMS.
19 BOMBERS IN ALL; A NUMBER FITS THEIR PLAN AND SENDS A MESSAGE. THE SAME NUMBER AS 9/11.
THEY JOKE ABOUT THE SYMMETRY.
AFTER SAYING GOODBYE, GOOD LUCK, AND PRAISE BE TO ALLAH,
THEY GO ON THEIR SEPARATE WAYS, TO 9 CITIES.
EACH HAS A MAJOR AIRPORT.

ONE TEAM GOES TO CHICAGO’S O’HARE.
ONE TEAM GOES TO DALLAS-FORT WORTH INTERNATIONAL.
ANOTHER GOES TO RONALD REAGAN WASHINGTON NATIONAL.
THERE’S DENVER INTERNATIONAL….LOGAN IN BOSTON…MIAMI INTERNATIONAL…LA GUARDIA…JFK …

TRAFFIC IS THICK. HORNS ARE HONKING, LIMOS JOCKEY FOR POSITION, CAB TIRES SQUEAL, A BARELY AUDIBLE P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT WARNS DRIVERS TO NOT LEAVE THEIR CAR UNATTENDED OR IT WILL BE TOWED AT THE OWNER’S EXPENSE.

EACH TEAM TAKES THEIR LUGGAGE OUT OF THE TAXI AND PLACES IT ON THE CURB. THEY PAY THE FARE AND INCLUDE A TIP.
THEY PICK UP THEIR LUGGAGE AND WALK THROUGH THE AUTOMATIC DOORS.
ONE TEAM EVEN ASKS A SKYCAP FOR ASSISTANCE.

THEY WAIT PATIENTLY ON THE CROWDED LINES IN THE TERMINAL BUILDING. THE LINES ARE LONG AND SLOW, AS USUAL DURING A NATIONAL HOLIDAY. SOME PEOPLE LOOK AT THEIR WATCHES AS THEY FRET OVER THE LENGTH OF THE LINE. SOME ARE CLEARLY FAMILIES WITH IMPATIENT KIDS IN TOW. WELL-DRESSED BUSINESSMEN MAKE PHONE CALLS. COLLEGE KIDS WITH TORN JEANS SLUMP OVER THEIR BAGS AS THEY KEEP CHECKING FOR INCOMING CALLS. A COUPLE OFF ON THE HONEYMOON GIGGLE.
ONE BY ONE, PEOPLE ADVANCE TO THE STRESSED AGENTS AT THE COUNTER. THE AGENTS LOOK DOWNWARD AT THE COMPUTER SCREEN AND SEEM TO READ VOLUMES. THEY ASK, “DID YOU PACK YOUR OWN BAGS…?”
TICKETS ARE EXAMINED AND BAGS ARE LABELED WITH INDESTRUCTIBLE NEON PAPER STRAPS INDICATING FINAL DESTINATIONS.
PEOPLE INCH ALONG. SOME DRINK COFFEE. SOME SIT ON THEIR SUITCASE. PEOPLE PUSH BAGS ALONG WITH THEIR FEET.

THE BOMBERS LOOK AT THEIR WATCHES. IN TWO MINUTES THEY’LL TAKE OUT THEIR CELL PHONES. IT WAS THE TIME THAT THEY ALL AGREED TO. THE BAGS WILL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE COUNTER. THE BAGS WILL NEVER BE SCREENED OR WEIGHED. THE BAGS WILL NEVER BE EXAMINED OR X-RAYED. NOR WILL THEY BE PUT INTO THE BELLY OF A SAFE PLANE. IT IS THE AGREED TIME.
AS THEY PRESS THE CELL PHONE, THEIR LUGGAGE RIPS APART.

HOW MANY WOULD DIE?
WHAT WOULD THAT DO TO OUR COUNTRY AND OUR ECONOMY?
COULD IT HAVE BEEN PREVENTED?
ARE WE SAFE?

HEIR BRUSHED

2006-09-06T10:35:00.000-04:00

WE KNOW LITTLE THAT THE MEDIA DOESN’T TELL US. THAT’S WHY THE PEOPLE WHO CONTROL THE PUBLIC AIRWAVES HAVE A MAJOR RESPONSIBILITY TO ACCURATELY COVER THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENTS OF THE DAY.

CBS NEWS HAS SPENT MILLIONS PROMOTING THE NEW HEIR TO THEIR THRONE….THE ANCHOR CHAIR.
IT WAS AS IF THE PERSON READING THE NEWS WAS THE NEWS ITSELF.
THE PROMOTIONAL PICTURES THEY RELEASED WERE AIR BRUSHED TO SHAVE OFF SOME TWENTY POUNDS. THE CALCULATION WAS TO ATTRACT AN AUDIENCE BY WRAPPING THE NEWS IN SOME MATURE SEX APPEAL. GRAVITAS WTHOUT THE GRAVY.

THE DECEPTION WOULD BE EXCUSED IF THIS WAS HOLLYWOOD. THIS IS A BAD START FOR A NEWS AGENCY THAT MIGHT WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. IT’S A BRUTAL INSULT TO THE PUBLIC.

THE GOOD GERMANS

2006-08-31T11:12:00.000-04:00

FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL AWAKE AND PAYING ATTENTION TO THE EVENTS WHICH WILL AFFECT THEIR FUTURE, TAKE A MOMENT TO CONSIDER THE DEBUT OF THE ADMINISTRATION’S NEW FALL PRODUCT LINE.

BETWEEN NOW AND NOVEMBER, YOU WON’T BE HEARING SUCH TIRED WORDS AS HEALTH CARE, ENVIRONMENT, KATRINA, STEM CELLS, ECONOMY, WORLD OPINION, GAS PRICES, OR DEFICIT.

GET READY FOR THE REBRANDING OF THE ELECTION THEME SONG. THE WORD YOU'LL BE HEARING IS ‘FASCISM’.
FASCISM....24/7, AS THEY SAY.

THERE WILL NOT BE A SPEECH OR ARTICLE EMANATING FROM YOUR ADMINISTRATION WITHOUT THE ‘F’ WORD.
LITTLE KIDS MIGHT EVEN START USING IT ON THE PLAYGROUND.

OUR MUCH BELOVED SECRETARY OF OFFENSE, DONALD ‘HENNY-PENNY’ RUMSFELD PRESIDED OVER THE UNVEILING THIS WEEK.

HE SAID THAT CRITICS OF THE WAR IN IRAQ AND THE CAMPAIGN AGAINST TERROR GROUPS SEEM NOT TO HAVE LEARNED HISTORY’S LESSONS. HE THEN ALLUDED TO THOSE IN THE 1930’s WHO ADVOCATED APPEASING FASCIST NAZI GERMANY.
‘RELEASE THE HOUNDS!’
DICK ‘LAST THROES’ CHENEY GAVE A SIMILAR SPEECH THIS WEEK.
GEORGE 'I READ 3 SHAKESPEARES' BUSH HAS BEEN TRAINED TO WORK IT INTO EVERY AWKWARD SENTENCE.

AND WHEN THE PUBLIC STARTS SLUMPING FROM 'FASCIST' FATIGUE,
‘APPEASING’ WILL BE THE UNDERSTUDY WORD.
IT WILL BE USED AS THE DESIGNATED DRIVER WORD WHICH WILL DRIVE THE MESSAGE HOME.

THE GOOD GERMANS WERE THE ONES WHO MADE THE POST- HORROR CLAIM THAT THEY DIDN’T SUPPORT THEIR WICKED GOVERNMENT AND THAT THEY HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON.

I THINK THAT RUMMY IS ON TO SOMETHING. IT’S STARTING TO SMELL LIKE THE 1930’s RIGHT HERE IN HOMELAND.
SO, FOR THE GOOD AMERICANS WHO CONTINUE TO SUPPORT THIS DECEITFUL, ARROGANT, AND VIOLENT ADMINISTRATION, CONSIDER THIS WORD.

‘ENABLERS’.

SAFE AT HOME

2006-07-16T15:48:00.000-04:00

STATISTICALLY, WE ARE ALL SAFE.
THE NEARLY 3,000 PEOPLE KILLED ON 9/11 REPRESENT A FRACTIONAL PART OF OUR 300,000,000 POPULATION.
SHOULD WE SUFFER FROM ANOTHER TERRORIST ATTACK, THE ODDS ARE IMMENSE THAT YOU’LL BE SAFE FROM PHYSICAL HARM.
THE SECURITY RATIO IS EVEN GREATER IF YOU LIVE IN, SAY, CANTON OHIO OR RURAL NORTH DAKOTA (IS THERE ANY OTHER TYPE OF DAKOTA OTHER THAN ‘RURAL’?).
THE DANGER INCREASES ONLY SLIGHTLY BY RESIDING IN ANY OF OUR HALF DOZEN GREAT CITIES.

THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT YOU AND I WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE VICTIMS OF A TERRORIST ATTACK.

THE BAD NEWS IS THAT WE PROBABLY WILL BE SPECTATORS.

THE HOME IS SAFE.
HOWEVER, THE ‘HOMELAND’ IS NOT.

WHAT CAN THE GOVERNMENT DO TO PROTECT OUR COUNTRY?
VERY LITTLE, OTHER THAN THE OPTICAL ILLUSIONS, BAG SEARCHES, AND SHOE REMOVALS WHICH SALVE OUR FEARS AND GREASE OUR ECONOMY.

IT’S AS IF WE GRANTED OURSELVES AN ORDER OF PROTECTION FROM THE BRUTE.
BUT, LIKE ANY ORDER OF PROTECTION, IT ONLY WORKS BY FRIGHTENING THE OFFENDER WITH SEVERE PENALTIES.
TERRORISTS SEEM NOT TO BE DETERRED BY FEAR OF IMPRISONMENT OR EXECUTION.

COMING NEXT: ONE DISASTROUS SCENARIO.

NO DEBATING THE ISSUE

2006-06-29T15:26:00.000-04:00

Debates are part of our Presidential campaign process. The candidate’s handlers negotiate the terms of the debates. They control the number, location, and timing of the brief encounters.
Each team attempts to control details such as the height of the podiums, the intensity of the studio lighting, the air temperature, and the background color. The moderators have to be moderate enough for both camps. No brutal questions allowed.
Like the World Cup and the Olympics, our Presidential Kabuki Dance repeats itself every four years.

After the election, the winner answers questions exclusively in the controlled and managed environment of press conferences. The President calls on the questioners, and occasionally allows follow-up questions at his pleasure. He decides when the question is ‘answered.’
Presidential interviews are granted, not required.

America’s interests would be better served if we overhauled the procedure.
The British have a system called Prime Minster’s Question Time, where members of Parliament have the opportunity to question the Prime Minister on any subject.
The 30-minute sessions occur each week the Parliament is in session. They questions tend to focus on the key issues of the day. The Prime Minister can’t orchestrate the session by selecting the questioner or avoiding follow-up questions.

We must develop a process where, the most powerful man in the most powerful nation has to regularly deal with the hard questions from the Representatives of the American people.

DOES AMERICA EXIST?

2006-06-14T18:21:00.000-04:00

I WAS RECENTLY THINKING ABOUT THE AMERICA I GREW UP IN.
YES, TIMES ARE DIFFERENT. YES, THINGS CHANGE.
BUT, THE THOUGHT I WAS LEFT WITH IS, 'DOES THAT AMERICA EXIST'?

DID IT EVER REALLY EXIST?

TER’- ROR- IST

2006-06-01T15:50:00.000-04:00

WE’VE BEEN HEARING AND USING THE WORD REPEATEDLY IN RECENT YEARS.
SHOULDN’T WE HAVE A STANDARD DEFINITION OF THE WORD, RATHER THAN ADJUSTING THE MEANING AS IT SUITS ONE'S INTERESTS.

AN ANTI-SMUT CRUSADER ONCE RESPONDED TO THE QUESTION, ‘WHAT IS PORNOGRAPHY?’
BY SAYING,
“I KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT!”

CAN WE ALL APPLY THE WORD ‘TERRORIST’ ONLY WHEN IT SATISFIES OUR OWN LIQUID, UNDEFINED DEFINITION?
CAN OTHERS USE THEIR OWN SLIDE RULE AND SAY, "I KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT?"

IS TERRORISM THE DELIBERATE KILLING OF AN INNOCENT LIFE? ALWAYS?
ANYWHERE?

ARE WE AFRAID TO DEFINE THE WORD BECAUSE IT MIGHT APPLY IN CASES WHERE WE’RE MORE COMFORTABLE USING EUPHEMISMS?

PLESE...EDUCATE ME HERE.

AND THE WINNER IS.................

2006-05-16T16:30:00.000-04:00

JUST YEARS AGO, CHINA WAS A NET OIL EXPORTER. THE COUNTRY WAS PROPELLED BY IDEOLOGY AND BICYCLES, WITH LITTLE NEED FOR OIL.
THEIR PETROLEUM SALES PROVIDED THEIR COMMUNIST DOGMA WITH CASH.
WE WISHED THEY WOULD PARTICIPATE IN OUR CAPITALIST FREE-MARKET WORLD.

OUR DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE.

TODAY, CHINA IS OUT-ENTERPRISING THE GLOBE.
WESTERN CAPITALISTS ( IRONICALLY LADEN DOWN WITH SOCIALIST-STYLE WELFARE PROGRAMS ) STRUGGLE TO COMPETE WITH SOCIALIST CHINA, A
COUNTRY UNBURDENED BY SUCH PROGRAMS, OR ENVIRONMENTAL RESTRAINTS. IT’S A BORN- FREE MARKET SYSTEM.

CHINA IS NOW HYPER-CONSUMING STEEL, CONCRETE, AND OTHER RESOURCES.
IT’S NATIONAL BIRD HAS BECOME THE FEATHERLESS CRANE.

CHINA IS PRESENTLY BURNING SEVEN MILLION BARRELS OF OIL EACH DAY.
ANALYSTS PREDICT THE DEMAND MAY BE REACHING TWELVE MILLION BARRELS IN THE FUTURE.
THE QUESTION IS, ‘JUST HOW FAR AWAY IS THE FUTURE?’

WHERE IN THE WORLD WILL THAT OIL COME FROM?

PERHAPS IT WILL COME FROM VENEZUELA, A COUNTRY WHICH IS CONSIDERING CUTTING OFF SALES TO THE UNITED STATES.

OR MAYBE IRAN, A COUNTRY WITH THE SECOND LARGEST OIL RESERVES ON OUR PLANET. THE BIG DEBATE IN OUR ADMINISTRATION IS WHETHER TO USE MINI-NUKES OR CONVENTIONAL BOMBS AGAINST THEM.

ONE WONDERS WHERE THE FUEL FOR OUR ROLLING ZIP CODES AND BIG-GULP HOMES WILL COME FROM. AND..........AT WHAT PRICE?

WHEN CHINESE PRESIDENT HU JIN TAO LEFT THE UNITED STATES RECENTLY, HE DIDN’T FLY DIRECTLY HOME. HE ‘VACATIONED’ FOR THREE DAYS IN SAUDI ARABIA. WHILE THERE, HE SIGNED AGREEMENTS TO STRENGTHEN COOPERATION BETWEEN THE TWO COUNTRIES.
WHEN HE LEFT SAUDI ARABIA, HE HEADED STRAIGHT FOR NIGERIA, AFRICA’S LARGEST PRODUCER OF OIL, THEN ON TO MOROCCO AND KENYA.
CHINA IS ALSO WORKING OUT A DEAL TO EXTRACT OIL FROM CUBA’S OFF SHORE OIL FIELDS.

WHILE THE UNITED STATES LOSES LIVES, FRIENDS, AND TREASURE ON OUR NATION BUILDING AGRESSION , THE CHINESE ARE QUIETLY BUILDING THEIR OWN NATION.

NOTHING TO HIDE?

2006-03-23T09:25:00.000-05:00

THOSE WHO ARE OPPOSED TO THE WIRETAPPING OF AMERICAN CITIZENS WITHOUT EMPLOYING A COURT ORDER, ARE MET WITH, " IT'S NOT A PROBLEM IF YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE."
THE WIRETAP POSSE HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH BENDING THE CONSTITUTION.

SO, IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE, I PROPOSE THAT
THE GOVERNMENT INSTITUTES THE FOLLOWING POLICIES FOR YOU.

YOUR EZ-PASS RECORDS ARE MONITORED, ALLOWING THE GOVERNMENT TO KNOW WHERE AND WHEN YOUR CAR TRAVELS. GPS INSTALLATION IS MANDATORY ON YOUR VEHICLES, FOR MONITORING PURPOSES. YOUR LIBRARY RECORDS ARE SENT TO THE GOVERNMENT REGULARLY, AS ARE THE RECORDS OF YOUR PHONES AND CELL PHONE USAGE. ALL YOUR MAGAZINE AND NEWSPAPER SUBSCRIPTIONS RECORDS BECOME GOVERNMENT INFORMATION. YOUR USE OF THE INTERNET IS SENT THERE, INCLUDING THE PORNO YOU MIGHT 'ACCIDENTLY' CAME ACROSS. YOUR DRUG STORE RECORDS OF ALL MEDICATIONS AND OTHER PURCHASES ARE SUBMITTED TO WASHINGTON. YOUR DOCTOR VISITS REQUIRE A URINE SAMPLE AS WELL AS A DNA SPECIMEN. MEMBERSHIPS IN ORGANIZATIONS WOULD BE ON YOUR FEDERAL RECORD. AND, OF COURSE, BESIDE INVESTIGATING EVERY PENNY YOU CLAIMED ON YOUR INCOME TAX, ALL YOU FINE FOLKS WHO HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE, WOULDN'T MIND IF THE GOVERNMENT MONITORED THE UNDECLARED INCOME FROM YOU WHO PREFER CASH PAYMENTS RATHER THAN BY CHECK OR CREDIT CARD. ALL YOUR BANKING RECORDS WOULD BE PART OF YOUR DOSSIER AS WELL. YOUR VOTING BOOTHS WOULD LOSE ITS CURTAIN. WHO NEEDS A CURTAIN, ANYWAY?
THE GOVERNMENT WOULD INSTITUTE ALL THESE POLICIES FOR YOUR CHILDREN AS WELL. THE FEDS WOULD EVEN KNOW WHO WROTE THEIR COLLEGE ESSAY.
YOU CAN'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ANY OF THIS, EVEN THE GROSSLY EXAGGERATED EXAMPLES.
HECK, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.

CORRECTION...THIS STORY WAS A LIE

2006-03-12T14:50:00.000-05:00

HIS NAME IS ALI SHALAL QAISSI. HE IS A 43 YEAR OLD MAN WITH A MANGLED HAND MADE WORSE BY THE SHACKLES WHICH CHAFFED HIS SKIN AND CAUSED INFECTIONS.
HE WALKS WITH A LIMP, WHICH WAS WORSENED BY THE DAYS OF BEING TIED UP AND KEPT IN UNNATURAL POSITIONS . HE HAS NIGHTMARES.

HE WAS OFFICIALLY KNOWN AS PRISONER # 151716.
YOU KNOW HIM AS THE HOODED MAN STANDING ON A BOX WITH ELECTRODES ATTATCHED TO HIS WIDE- SPREAD ARMS.
HIS PICTURE IS THE INTERNATIONAL ICON OF AMERICAN TORTURE AT ABU GHRAIB.

UPON BEING ASKED TO CONFIRM THIS INFORMATION, A SPOKESMAN FOR THE AMERICAN MILITARY DECLINED TO COMMENT, SAYING THAT IT WOULD VIOLATE THE GENEVA CONVENTIONS TO DISCLOSE THE IDENTITY OF PRISONERS IN ANY OF THE ABU GHRAIB PHOTOGRAPHS, OR THE REASONS BEHIND THE DETENTIONS. HONORING THE GENEVA CONVENTIONS IS IMPORTANT.

ACCORDING TO RECORDS MADE AVAILABLE BY AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL,
MR. QAISSI WAS A LOCAL MAYOR. AFTER THE INVASION, HE MANAGED A PARKING LOT BELONGING TO A MOSQUE.
HE WAS ARRESTED BECAUSE HE COMPLAINED TO THE MILITARY, HUMAN RIGHTS ORGANIZATIONS, AND THE NEWS MEDIA ABOUT SOLDIERS DUMPING GARBAGE ON A LOCAL SOCCER FIELD.
HE WAS SYMPATHIC TOWARD INSURGENTS WHO FOUGHT AMERICAN SOLDIERS. "RESISTANCE IS AN INTERNATIONAL RIGHT," HE SAID.

WEEKS AFTER COMPLAINING ABOUT THE GARBAGE, HE WAS ARRESTED, HOODED, TIED UP AND TAKEN TO ABU GHRAIB.
HE WAS STRIPPED AND TIED WITH HIS HANDS UP HIGH. A GUARD WROTE GRAFFITI ON HIS CHEST AND FACE. HE WAS SLEEP DEPRIVED AND URINATED ON.
HE WITNESSED WHAT AMERICANS WERE DOING TO HIS COUNTRYMEN.
AFTER BEING HELD NAKED FOR DAYS, HE WAS GIVEN A BLANKET WHICH HE FASHIONED INTO THE PONCHO SEEN IN THE PICTURE.
HE WAS TOLD TO STAND ON A BOX WHERE HE WAS WIRED AND SHOCKED.

AFTER SIX MONTHS, HE WAS HOODED, LOADED ONTO A TRUCK, AND DRIVEN AWAY. THE TRUCK STOPPED AND HE WAS TOLD HE WAS FREE. HE IS NOW A PRISONER ADVOCATE.

NOTE: THIS STORY HAS BEEN PROVEN UNTRUE. MR. QAISSI HAS ADMITTED THAT HE WAS NOT THE MAN IN THE PICTURE.

CHAPPAQUID-DICK CHENEY

2006-02-15T10:21:00.000-05:00

MARY JO KOPECKNE --- A DISTANT MEMBER OF MY FAMILY--- WENT OFF THE BRIDGE AT CHAPPAQUIDDICK WITH TEDDY KENNEDY.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. SHE DROWNED AND HE FLED.
THE MEDIA FOUND OUT MANY HOURS LATER.
WHY?
HE THOUGHT FIRST OF HIS POLITICAL CAREER.

DICK CHENEY SHOT A MAN. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
THE MAN HAS SURVIVED AND CHENEY HID.
THE MEDIA FOUND OUT MANY HOURS LATER.
WHY?
HE THOUGHT FIRST OF HIS POLITICAL CAREER.

HOW’S THIS FOR A STRANGE SCENARIO:

WHAT AT FIRST SEEMED LIKE A MINOR INJURY, BECOMES MORE COMPLICATED. THE HEADS GET TOGETHER. THEY DECIDE THAT CHENEY WILL BE NOBLE. HE WILL RESIGN, CLAIMING THAT HE WAS SO SHAKEN BY THE HARM HE DID TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING AND THAT HIS CONTINUED SERVICE WOULD BE A DISTRACTION TO THE FINE WORKS OF THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION.
HE ‘HEROICALLY’ LEAVES.
BUSH APPOINTS A NEW VICE PRESIDENT.
2008 ROLLS AROUND.

THE FOG OF NO WAR

2006-02-07T10:55:00.000-05:00

AMERICA IS NOT AT WAR. IT IS A MYTH THAT WE ARE.
YES, WE HAVE OUR MILITARY IN IRAQ AND PEOPLE ARE DYING DAILY; BOTH, AMERICANS AND IRAQIS. BUT IT IS NOT A WAR. IT IS AN ELECTIVE. IT'S POLITICS WITH HELMETS.
IF THE AMERICAN ADMINISTRATION WANTED TO END THIS ESCAPADE, IT COULD BE OVER AS QUICKLY AS IT WOULD TAKE OUR MILITARY TO DEPART FROM IRAQ.

THE WAR ON TERROR IS AMERICA'S RESPONSE TO THOSE WHO WISH, PLOT, AND ACT TO HARM US. THOSE PEOPLE PROBABLY ALWAYS EXISTED AND QUITE LIKELY ALWAYS WILL. THUS, THE WAR ON TERROR WILL NEVER BE OVER. AT BEST, IT WILL BE MINIMIZED AND CONTAINED.
OUR IRAQ INVASION AND OCCUPATION HAS BEEN A RECRUITING TOOL FOR THEM.

BUT, THERE IS NO WAR IN IRAQ. THE ADMINISTRATION IS MERELY STRUGGLING TO SAVE FACE BY DOING A FACE LIFT ON AN UGLY AND ILLEGAL INVASION AND OCCUPATION.

THE ADMINISTRATION SUGGESTS THAT SOME AMERICANS SECRETLY HOPE FOR FAILURE IN IRAQ. PERHAPS.
BUT DOES THE ADMINISTRATION HAVE SOME SECRETS OF THEIR OWN? DO THEY SEE 9-11 AS THEIR GOOD FORTUNE? DO THEY STILL YEARN TO FIND WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION TO JUSTIFY THEIR DEADLY POLICIES?

NOT PLAYING BALL

2006-01-10T17:41:00.000-05:00

IT’S A SMALL WORLD; AT LEAST THE WORLD SERIES IS.
THAT WORLD MEANS THE UNITED STATES, AND, IN RECENT YEARS, TWO CANADIAN CITIES.

SINCE THE TRIAL-RUN OF OLYMPIC BASEBALL WILL END AFTER 2008, THE INTERNATIONAL BASEBALL FEDERATION HAS ORGANIZED THE FIRST WORLD BASEBALL CLASSIC, WHICH WILL START IN MARCH, AND PLAYED IN JAPAN AND THE UNITED STATES.

ALTHOUGH 16 TEAMS WERE INVITED TO PARTICIPATE, ONLY 15 WILL.
ONE TEAM WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO PLAY; THE DEFENDING OLYMPIC CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM FROM CUBA.

PRESIDENT BUSH, WHO HAS RECENTLY RAISED THE POLITICAL PRESSURE ON THE GOVERNMENT OF FIDEL CASTRO, WILL NOT GRANT THE CUBAN TEAM A LICENSE TO PARTICIPATE.

IN DECEMBER, SECRETARY OF STATE CONDOLEEZZA RICE CHAIRED A TRANSITION COMMITTEE CHARGED WITH PREPARING FOR A CHANGE OF GOVERNMENT IN CUBA.
IN ADDITION, THE ANTI-CASTRO FACTIONS IN FLORIDA, WHERE JEB BUSH IS THE GOVERNOR, WOULD BE DISPLEASED IF THE CUBANS PARTICIPATED.

GEORGE VECSEY, IN THE NEW YORK TIMES [JANUARY 8TH, 2006] WROTE,

“BECAUSE THE CLASSIC IS A COMMERCIAL VENTURE, CUBAN PARTICIPATION IS BEING BLOCKED BY AMERICAN POLICY, WHICH WAS DEFINED … [BY] A TREASURY SPOKESWOMAN, AS ‘TO KEEP HARD CURRENCY OUT OF THE HANDS OF THE CASTRO DICTATORSHIP’.
THAT POLICY ALSO KEEPS MEDICINE, FOOD, TECHNOLOGY AND OTHER GOODS FROM THE CUBAN PEOPLE.”

UNDER THE CONTRACT OF THE BASEBALL CLASSIC, EVERY PARTICIPATING TEAM WOULD GAIN 1 PERCENT OF THE PROFITS. THE WINNING TEAM WOULD GAIN 10 PERCENT. ALL MONIES WOULD BE USED FOR YOUTH BASEBALL IN THE HOME COUNTRIES.

THE CASTRO GOVERNMENT AGREED TO DONATE ALL INCOME TO HURRICANE KATRINA VICTIMS IN THE UNITED STATES.

REMEMBER THAT KID WHO OWNED THE BALL?

NOTE: THE U.S. HAS LIFTED ITS BAN AGAINST CUBA. THE CUBAN NATIONAL TEAM WILL BE ALLOWED TO PLAY.

NIGERIANNA

2006-01-05T17:51:00.000-05:00

STEPHEN GAGHAN, THE WRITER AND DIRECTOR OF SYRIANNA APPEARED ON THE CHARLIE ROSE SHOW IN LATE 2005. HE TOLD A STORY ABOUT AN EXPRERIENCE HE HAD WHILE MAKING THE FILM.
HE HAD BEEN INVITED TO A HOME WHERE SEVERAL AMERICAN BILLIONAIRES, WERE DISCUSSING WHICH COUNTRY WOULD BE AMERICA’S NEXT ‘FOCUS.’

AFTER GIVING THEIR OPINIONS, THE HOST ANNOUNCED THAT THE CORRECT ANSWER WAS NIGERIA.

WITHIN DAYS OF THE ROSE SHOW, TWO PLANES CRASHED IN NIGERIA; ONE KILLING ALL 117 ON BOARD, AND THE OTHER KILLING 103.

ON JANUARY 1, 2006, A FRONT PAGE STORY APPEARED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES WITH THE HEADLINE,

BLOOD FLOWS WITH OIL IN POOR NIGERIAN VILLAGES

NIGERIA, WITH 130 MILLION PEOPLE, AND A POVERTY RATE OF 70%, IS AFRICA’S LARGEST PRODUCER OF OIL, AND THE ELEVENTH LARGEST PRODUCER IN THE WORLD.
THE TIMES ARTICLE EXPLAINED THAT A POTENTIALLY VAST FIELD OF CRUDE OIL HAS CAUGHT THE ATTENTION OF A MAJOR ENERGY COMPANY, AND THAT AFRICAN OIL IS EXPECTED TO PROVIDE THE UNITED STATES WITH A QUARTER OF ITS OIL SUPPLY IN THE NEXT DECADE, UP FROM FIFTEEN PERCENT NOW.

IN THE NEW YORK TIMES ( JANUARY 6TH) THOMAS FRIEDMAN WROTE ABOUT 'PETROLISM'. IT'S HIS TERM, " ... FOR THE CORRUPTING, ANTIDEMOCRATIC GOVERNING PRACTICES IN OIL STATES... [ SUCH AS ]... NIGERIA."
HE CLAIMS THAT, "...OUR ENERGY GLUTTONY FOSTERS AND STRENGTHENS VARIOUS KINDS OF PETROLIST REGIMES, ... [ AND ] ... IT EMBOLDENS AUTHORITARIAN PETROLISM IN... [PLACES LIKE] ...NIGERIA,... WHICH WOULD HAVE COLLAPSED LONG AGO, BUT HAVE BEEN SAVED BY OUR ENERGY EXCESSES. "

NIGERIA IS ATTRACTING SOME ATTENTION. NO CONSPIRACY, BUT LET’S FOLLOW THE STORY.

DO WE KNOW WHAT WE THINK WE KNOW?

2005-12-29T10:54:00.000-05:00

WE LIVE LOCAL LIVES. EVEN WORLD TRAVELERS SEE VERY LITTLE. TWO WEEKS IN SPAIN CAN OFFER IMPRESSIONS, BUT NOT A MEANINGFUL UNDERSTANDING OF THE COUNTRY OR THE PEOPLE. THE BENEFIT OF TRAVEL IS THAT IT ENHANCES OUR UNDERSTANDING. THE DANGER IS THAT WE MIGHT START BELIEVING THAT WE REALLY UNDERSTAND.
SOME OF US HAVE LIVED IN AMERICA ALL OUR LIVES. DO WE TRULY UNDERSTAND AMERICA?
THE WORLD COMES TO US THROUGH THE MEDIA. IT'S A FLAWED AND LIMITED VIEW OF THE WORLD, BUT IT'S OUR MAJOR OPTION.
IF THE MEDIA IS DOING ITS JOB, IT GIVES US AS MUCH TRUTH AS IT CAN.
WHEN IT FAILS, OUR UNDERSTANDING FAILS.

THREE 'STORIES' WERE IN THE NEWS RECENTLY. ALL FAILURES.

WHEN THE M&M BALLOON CRASHED AT THE MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE, NBC DECIDED TO AIR OLD FOOTAGE OF IT, SO THAT THEY COULD STAY ON SCRIPT. AN INCONSEQUENTIAL LIE; BUT A LIE.

NEWS ARTICLES PLACED IN THE IRAQ MEDIA WERE ACTUALLY UNACKNOWLEDGED PAID ADVERTISEMENTS WRITTEN BY THE AMERICAN MILITARY POSING AS REAL NEWS. A LIE WHICH MIGHT MAKE ANY FUTURE POSITIVE ARTICLES SUSPECT.

AFTER YEARS OF LIVING WITH THE ICONIC PHOTOGRAPH OF ROSA PARKS ON THE BUS, WE 'DISCOVER' THAT IT WAS A STAGED EVENT. MRS. PARKS REFUSED TO GIVE UP HER SEAT ON DECEMBER 1,1955. THE PHOTOGRAPH WAS TAKEN ON
DECEMBER, 21, 1956. THE WHITE MAN SITTING BEHIND HER, NICHOLAS CHRISS, WAS A REPORTER FOR THE UNITED PRESS INTERNATIONAL, WHO WAS COVERING THE STORY. A UPI PHOTOGRAPHER TOOK THE PICTURE. MRS. PARKS HAD LEFT HER HOME THAT MORNING SPECIFICALLY FOR THE BUS PHOTO. THE IDEA WAS FOR HER TO BE SEATED IN THE FRONT OF THE BUS WITH A WHITE MAN BEHIND HER. MR. CHRISS AGREED TO POSE FOR THE PICTURE. THIS WOULD SERVE AS THE IMAGE THAT THE CIVIL RIGHTS COMMUNITY WOULD USE TO DRAMATIZE WHAT HAD HAPPENED A YEAR EARLIER.
THE FAMOUS MUG SHOT OF HER WAS TAKEN ON FEBRUARY 22, 1955, AFTER ABOUT 100 BLACK MONTGOMERY RESIDENTS WERE INDICTED FOR VIOLATING A LOCAL ANTIBOYCOTT STATUTE.
MRS. PARKS WAS NOT THE FIRST BLACK RIDER TO REFUSE TO GIVE UP HER SEAT. TWO OTHER FORGOTTEN WOMEN WERE FIRST .THE CIVIL RIGHTS ISSUES WERE REAL. THE PHOTOGRAPH WAS NOT.

IF WE ARE TO UNDERSTAND OUR WORLD, THE MEDIA MUST SHOW US THE REAL WORLD, AS BEST THEY CAN.

SCIENCE PROJECT

2005-12-20T16:36:00.000-05:00

SOME CHRISTIANS, WHO WILL NOT BE HAPPY UNTIL THEY CAN 'SHARE' THEIR BELIEF WITH EVERYONE, RECENTLY TRIED IMPLANTING THEIR NOT-SO-SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE INTO SOME OF PENNSYLVANIA'S 9TH GRADE BIOLOGY CLASSES .
REALIZING THAT CREATIONISM AS SCIENCE WAS REJECTED BY THE SUPREME COURT NEARLY TWENTY YEARS AGO, THEY REPACKAGED THEIR PRODUCT INTO 'INTELLIGENT DESIGN.' WHO COULD BE AGAINST INTELLIGENCE OR DESIGN?
THEY ONLY WANTED TO ADD 60 SECONDS OF THEIR THEORY INTO THE SCIENCE CURRICULUM.
THE JUDGE, JOHN E. JONES III, REJECTED THEIR EFFORTS. HE SAID THAT INTELLIGENT DESIGN SHOULD ONLY BE ALLOWED IN A SCIENCE CLASS IF WE CHANGE THE DEFINITION OF SCIENCE AND INCLUDE THE SUPERNATURAL.
PERHAPS THEY'LL TRY TO WORK IT INTO MATH CLASSES NEXT.

10A.D. - 6B.C.= X
X=?

ONE LOAF OF BREAD = HOW MANY FISH?

METHUSELAH WAS 969 YEARS OLD. WHEN DID HE HAVE HIS MID-LIFE CRISIS?

NOAH WAS TOLD TO TAKE TWO, ( ONE MALE AND ONE FEMALE ) OF EACH SPECIES ABOARD THE ARK. SINCE THERE ARE ABOUT 1,500,000 SPECIES, HOW MANY LIVING THINGS WERE ON THE ARK?

INTELLIGENT REDESIGN

2005-12-06T16:43:00.000-05:00

POPE BENEDICT XVI HAS DECIDED TO RETHINK 'LIMBO'. HE SENT A PROPOSAL TO A THEOLOGICAL COMMISSION SO THAT THE VENUE CAN BE OFFICIALLY ABOLISHED BY THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH. SOMEWHAT LIKE A GOING-OUT-OF-BUSINESS INFERNO- SALE. THE LEASE WILL NOT BE RENEWED.
UNLIKE PURGATORY, WHICH IS A HOLDING PEN FOR HEAVEN, LIMBO IS THE PLACE WHERE DEAD, UNBAPTIZED (ANABAPTIZED ) INFANTS GO. IT HAS LITTLE FLAMES FOR LITTLE PEOPLE. IT ALSO HOUSES THE GOOD ADULTS WHO WERE NOT WISE ENOUGH TO BE BORN AFTER THE CREATION OF THE BAPTISIM RITUAL. THUS, IT'S MUCH LIKE A GATED COMMUNITY FOR ADULTS AND INFANTS. WHILE NOT AS WELL APPOINTED AS HEAVEN, WHERE FACE-TIME WITH GOD IS JUST ONE PERK, IT'S NOT NEARLY AS NASTY AS HELL;.
THIS ETERNAL DAY-CARE, AND LONG-TERM-CARE CENTER, HAS AN ENTRANCE, BUT NO EXIT DOOR.
IT STARTED IN THE MIDDLE-AGES WHEN MEDIEVAL THEOLOGIANS REALIZED THAT THEY NEEDED A PLACE TO PUT BABIES WHO HADN'T COMMITTED EVIL, YET, HADN'T BEEN BAPTIZED.
WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO?

L--I--M--B--O

BINGO!

LIMBUS INFERNI!
WELL THIS HOME FOR THE CONDEMNED MAY SOON BE ITSELF CONDEMNED.
THE PAPAL QUESTION IS, WHAT HAPPENS TO THE ANABAPTIZED BABIES OF THE FUTURE? WHERE WILL THEY GO?
AND WHAT ABOUT THOSE WHO ARE ALREADY IN LIMBO? WILL THEY BE
GRAND-OUR-FATHERED INTO A NEW PLACE? WILL THEY BE ISSUED GREEN CARDS AND ALLOWED TO IMMIGRATE?
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.

EXPLODE OR IMPLODE

2005-11-21T16:30:00.000-05:00

WHILE THE TWIN TOWERS WERE STANDING, THE ADMINISTRATION WAS SALIVATING TO HAVE THEIR WAR.

QUOTE FROM PAUL O'NEILL, A MEMBER OF PRESIDENT BUSH'S CABINET:

"From the very beginning, there was a conviction, that Saddam Hussein... needed to go.. going after Saddam was topic "A" 10 days after the inauguration - eight months before Sept. 11. From the very first instance, it was about Iraq. It was about what we can do to change this regime... Day one, these things were laid and sealed.”

THE FALLING TOWERS CREATED THE SMOKESCREEN THEY LONGED FOR.

QUOTE FROM RICHARD A. CLARKE, THE WHITE HOUSE ANTITERRORISM CHIEF:

...as early as the day after the attacks, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was pushing for retaliatory strikes on Iraq, even though al Qaeda was based in Afghanistan... the idea took [ME] so aback, [I] initally thought Rumsfeld was joking. President Bush ordered [ME] to look for a link between Iraq and the attacks, despite being told there didn't seem to be one.

THEY STORMED THE BUFFET TABLE, FILLING THEIR PLATE WITH THE INFORMATION THAT TASTED GOOD, PASSING OVER THE INFORMATION THEY HAD NO TASTE FOR.
FINALLY, THE CHICKENS ARE COMING HOME TO ROOST. THE CHICKEN DEMOCRATS ARE REATTACHING THEIR SEVERED HEADS.
THE CHICKEN HAWK REPUBLICANS ARE CLUCKING ABOUT PATRIOTISM, STAYING THE COURSE, AND, OUR COLORS DON'T CUT AND RUN.
THE CORPS OF HARD-CORE ENABLERS IS SHRINKING. THEIR TAX CUTS AND CLICHES ARE NOT AS MUCH FUN WHEN THEY'RE STAINED WITH BLOOD. THEIR MINDS ARE GATED COMMUNITIES WHERE TRUTH IS NOT WELCOME.
THE MILITARY, MIRRORING THE ADMISTRATION , IS LOWERING IT'S STANDARDS.
MORE FLESH IS NEEDED TO THROW ON THE BARBIE. LEAVE NO BLUE-COLLAR KID BEHIND.
2,000 SEEMS LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY.
WE'RE NOW AT OVER 2,080.
WE HAVE NO CHOICE BETWEEN IRAQ AND A HARD PLACE.
IMPLODE OR EXPLODE.
IF WE LEAVE IRAQ, THE COUNTRY IMPLODES INTO A CIVIL WAR. NASTY.
IF WE STAY, THE EXPLOSIONS WILL CONTINUE TO KILL AND MAIM OUR MILITARY PEOPLE, WHICH THE ADMINISTRATION WILL HAVE A HARDER TIME HIDING FROM VIEW OR THOUGHT.
HOW DID WE EVER LET THIS HAPPEN TO US?

# 7053

2005-11-02T15:26:00.000-05:00

IT WAS THE BOOKING NUMBER FOR ROSA PARKS WHEN SHE WAS ARRESTED FOR REFUSING TO SURRENDER HER SEAT NOR PRINCIPLES TO A WHITE SOCIETY.

SHE HAD MANY ENEMIES IN 1955 AMERICA. WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM? WHERE DID

THEY GO?

DURING THIS WEEK OF HER DEATH, IT SEEMS THAT EVERYONE WANTS TO BE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY AND DECENCY.
THAT WOULD BE A GOOD THING, IF IT LASTS.
BUT WHEN THE SPEECHES ARE FINISHED AND THE QUEUES ARE GONE, WHO WILL AMERICA VOTE FOR AND WHAT POLICIES WILL PREVAIL.
STAY TUNED…………..OR TUNE OUT.

CAMP DAVID AND GOLIATH

2005-10-29T10:40:00.000-04:00

THE ENABLERS WHO CONTINUE TO SUPPORT THE AMERICAN NIGHTMARE KNOWN AS THE PRESENT ADMINISTRATION ARE IN A HUDDLE. THEIR ZOMBIE-LIKE DEFENSE OF THE INDEFENSIBLE IS BECOMING HARDER. THEY NEED FLESH TO HANG ON THEIR NAKED ARGUMENTS. AS YOU READ THIS, TALKING POINTS ARE BEING FASHIONED AT CAMP DAVID TO GO UP AGAINST A GOLIATH OF FACTS. SPECIAL COUNSEL PATRICK FITZGERALD'S PRESS CONFERENCE WAS STUNNING IN ITS DEPTH AND CLARITY. ANYONE WHO CARES TO UNDERSTAND THE CASE MUST LISTEN TO IT. MR. FITZGERALD MADE SEVERAL STRIKING POINTS.

VALERIE PLAME'S POSITION WAS CLASSIFIED AT THE TIME IN QUESTION.

IT WAS IRRELEVANT WHO SENT JOSEPH WILSON TO NIGER, OR WHAT HIS
POLITICAL AFFILIATIONS WERE.

LIBBY LEARNED ABOUT JOSEPH WILSON'S WIFE THROUGH CHENEY.

OFFICIAL 'A' TOLD ROBERT NOVAK ABOUT WILSON'S WIFE. WE HAVE YET TO FIND
OUT WHO 'A' IS. ( WANNA GUESS? )

LYING OR OBSTRUCTING JUSTICE DURING THE INVESTIGATION OF A SERIOUS
CRIME ( IN THIS CASE, TREASON ) IS, IN ITSELF A 'VERY, VERY' SERIOUS CRIME.

LIBBY LIED REPEATEDLY.

THIS IS NOT, AS THE ADMINISTRATION WANTS THE PUBLIC TO BELIEVE, THE CRIMINALIZATION OF POLITICS. THIS IS ABOUT THE CRIMINALIZATION OF CRIME.

A HERO IS DEAD

2005-10-25T14:30:00.000-04:00

WE HAVE SO FEW HEROES. ONE DIED YESTERDAY. HER DARING ACT OF 50 YEARS AGO HELPED REDIRECT OUR LAND OF THE FREE, AMERICA.
SHE DECIDED NOT TO COMPLY WITH THE VULGAR, UGLY POLICY OF JIM CROW ANYMORE.
HER DEATH REMINDS US THAT THIS NATIONAL CANCER DID NOT OCCUR HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO BUT DURING THE LIFETIME OF ANYONE OVER FIFTY. RACISM WEARS FINER CLOTHES AND SPEAKS MORE SOFTLY NOW, BUT IT'S ENTRAILS STILL THROB.

WINKING AND BLINKING

2005-10-10T10:44:00.000-04:00

THE UBER-CONSERVATIVES ARE BASHING THE PRESIDENT AS IF HE WERE THEIR SOCK PUPPET.
THEY ACCUSE HIM OF BLINKING INTO THE EYES OF ISSUE OVERLOAD.
THEY BRISTLE OVER THE PROSPECT THAT IRAQ, DELAY, KATRINA, FRIST, ROVE, AND THE DEFICIT, HAVE TAKEN THE HUBRIS OUT OF MR. BUSH JUST WHEN IT CAME TIME TO NOMINATE A JUSTICE FOR THE SUPREME COURT. HE WAS EXPECTED TO STARE HIS OPPONENTS DOWN. THEY SAY HE BLINKED.
THEY'RE WRONG.
MR. BUSH, WHO NOW FEELS THAT HE ACTUALLY IS THE PRESIDENT, WAS WINKING. THE TARTARE CONSERVATIVES MISSED HIS CLEARLY SPOKEN BODY-LANGUAGE. HE WAS TELLING HIS POLITICAL KINFOLK THAT, WHAT HE COULDN'T SAY PUBLICLY, WAS A DONE DEAL PRIVATELY.
HE SQUIRMED HIS WAY THROUGH THE LATEST PRESS CONFERENCE WHEN ASKED IF HE HAD EVER QUESTIONED HARRIET MIERS ABOUT HER VIEW ON ROE v WADE.
HE LOOKED TOWARD THE GROUND AND REPLIED THAT HE COULDN'T RECALL, WITH LITMUS CRUMBS ALL OVER HIS LIPS.

MR. BUSH, WHO HAS A DIFFICULT TIME SAYING ONE THING AT A TIME, WAS ACTUALLY SAYING TWO THINGS SIMULTANEOUSLY. HE WAS TRYING TO STAY WITHIN THE TECHNICAL BOUNDARIES OF THE 'TRUTH', WHILE TELLING HIS BASE, TRUST ME, I'M LYING.
I'M NOT BLINKING....I'M WINKING!
IN THE END, THEY MADE HIM BLINK.

FROM HERE TO INSANITY

2005-10-06T11:14:00.000-04:00

The Russians are debating what to do with the fungi sprouting cadaver of Lenin, the author of the failed policy of Soviet Communism.
Russian President Putin has spoken out against removing Lenin from the Red Square mausoleum and placing him in the ground.
Putin said that many people in Russia associate their lives with Lenin. To bury him would say that they have worshipped false values, and that they lived their lives in vain.
This same argument is used by President Bush in promoting the continuation of a failed policy in Iraq, so that our dead military people will not have died in vain.

MEDIEVAL- DOERS

2005-09-20T12:53:00.000-04:00

OUR COUNTRY HAS KEPT HUNDREDS OF PRISONERS IN CONFINEMENT FOR YEARS WITHOUT BEING CHARGED WITH A CRIME, WITHOUT LEGAL REPRESENTATION, AND WITHOUT TRIALS.
THE RED CROSS HAD TO PLEDGE NOT TO GO PUBLIC WITH WHAT THEY HAVE SEEN THERE IN ORDER TO HAVE CONTINUED ACCESS TO THE PRISON.

HUNDREDS OF THE PRISONERS ARE ON A HUNGER STRIKE BECAUSE OF THE CONDITIONS THERE.
ONE SAID," LOOK, I'M DYING A SLOW DEATH IN THIS PLACE AS IT IS. I DON'T HAVE ANY HOPE OF FAIR TREATMENT, SO WHAT HAVE I GOT TO LOSE?"

THOSE ON THE STRIKE ARE PUT INTO RESTRAINTS AND FORCE FED WITH NASAL TUBES. THE MILITARY DESCRIBES THE PROCESS AS 'ASSISTED FEEDING' RATHER THAN 'FORCED FEEDING'.

OUR GOVERNMENT INITALLY DESCRIBED THE STRIKE AS "RUMORS."
DUE TO WORLD PRESSURE AND A COURT DECISION, LEGAL REPRESENTATION IS NOW PERMITTED, ALTHOUGH THE LAWYERS MAY NOT DISCLOSE INFORMATION FROM THEIR VISITS.

THIS IS TAKING PLACE AT GUANTANAMO, AN AMERICAN MILITARY BASE IN CUBA. IT'S BEING DONE IN OUR NAME.

AMERICAN TRIAGE

2005-09-03T14:13:00.000-04:00

MOTHER NATURE HAD THE HOMELAND LOOKING INTO THE MIRROR THIS WEEK. WE DIDN'T SEEM TO BE THE FAIREST OF THEM ALL.
WE SAW A NATION WHERE SEGREGATION...BOTH EPIDERMAL AND ECONOMIC ...WAS ALIVE AND PROSPERING, WHILE SOME COUNTRYMEN WERE STRUGGLING TO STAY ALIVE BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T PROSPEROUS.
UNLIKE THE BOLTS THAT CREATED THE 9/11 DISASTER, THIS MONSTER WAS WELL ADVERTISED. THE ONLY QUESTION WAS CATEGORY FOUR OR FIVE.

THE PRESIDENT DECLARED THE GULF STATES A DISASTER AREA TWO DAYS IN ADVANCE OF THE STORM. GOOD CALL.
48 FULL HOURS.

THOSE WITH THE RESOURCES LEFT TOWN. THOSE WITHOUT WERE LEFT TO HOPE FOR THE BEST. THE WORST HAPPENED.
DEATH, AND SUFFERING FOLLOWED UGLY LOOTING... BY PETROLEUM CPO's.

THE WORLD'S RICHEST, MOST POWERFUL NATION COULDN'T STOP THE FORCES OF NATURE. BUT IT COULD HAVE SHOWN IT'S GOOD NATURE BY EVACUATING THOSE LEFT BEHIND.
THE ILL, THE POOR, THE FOOLISH, THE FETUSES, THE TERRI SCHAIVOS, AND THE ONES OUR PRESIDENT NEVER LEAVES BEHIND...THE CHILDREN.

NOW, OUR TAX-CUT -ADMINISTRATION IS RELYING ON CHARITY TO DO THE GOVERNMENT'S JOB.
OUR 'BRING 'EM ON ' LEADERSHIP IS, HELMET-IN-HAND, RELYING UPON THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS.

THE BLAME GAME GAME

2005-09-02T10:29:00.000-04:00

ARE WE ALL HERE? GOOD. I'LL MAKE THIS QUICK. WE HAVE A THREE-PRONGER.

ONE..................GEORGE, YOU MUST GO TO THE FLOOD AREA. SEVERAL TIMES. NO JACKET OR TIE. IT'S GOTTA BE 'DOWN WITH FOLKS'. USE THE HEE-HAW ACCENT. HUG AS MANY PRE-SCREENED BLACKS AS YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON, AND CLOSE YOUR EYES WHILE YOU DO IT. IT PHOTOGRAPHS WELL. AND TAKE LAURA. REMEMBER LAURA, "KATRINA" NOT "CORINA".
CONDI, YOU GO TOO, AND REMIND THEM FOLKS THAT YOU WERE BLACK. DON'T WEAR THOSE FERAGAMMOS YOU WERE BUYING IN NEW YORK WHILE THEM FOLKS WERE STEALING SNEAKERS.

TWO...................KEEP SAYING THAT WE DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO LOOK BACK BECAUSE WE'RE WORKING SO HARD TO SAVE LIVES. SAY THAT WE'RE TAKING THE MORAL HIGH GROUND. NOPE, DON'T SAY "HIGH GROUND".

THREE..................REMEMBER TO SAY THAT THERE SHOULD BE NO FINGER POINTING, THEN, POINT YOUR FINGER AT THE MAYOR AND GOVERNOR.

O.K. ...OFF YOU GO. GOOD LUCK. I'LL STAY HERE AND POSTPONE OUR ESTATE TAX CUT PLAN UNTIL A LESS IRONIC TIME.

THE SPEECH GEORGE BUSH WON'T MAKE

2005-08-22T03:40:00.000-04:00

YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING WHY I DECIDED TO GIVE THIS SPEECH FROM THE USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN. WELL, AS YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHERE I GAVE THE 'MISSION ACCOMPLISHED' SPEECH IN MAY, 2003.
YA' SEE, A LOT HAS HAPPENED SINCE THEN. BUT I RECENTLY THOUGHT THINGS OVER. I WANT TO BE STRAIGHT WITH THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. SINCE I'LL NEVER RUN FOR OFFICE AGAIN, I DECIDED TO LEVEL WITH YOU ALL. IN OTHER WORDS...TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
I'VE BEEN A LUCKY MAN. I WAS BORN INTO A WELL-OFF FAMILY. MY LIFE HAS ALWAYS BEEN EASY. I'VE NEVER HAD TO REALLY WORK. I TALK 'RANCH' BUT I'VE ALWAYS LIVED 'WALL STREET'.

YA' SEE, I'VE BEEN PRIVILEDGED. MY DAD GOT ME INTO TWO IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLS WHICH I NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO ON MY OWN. EVEN THOUGH I SPEAK OUT AGAINST AFFIRMATIVE ACTION, I'M ITS POSTER BOY...LEGACY STYLE.
MY FAMILY CONNECTIONS ALSO HELPED ME DURING THE YEARS WHEN I STRAYED AND TOOK DRUGS...YOU KNOW.. COCAINE, AND LOTS OF LIQUOR. LOTS.
MOM AND POPS ALWAYS MANAGED TO KEEP THINGS QUIET.
POPS ALSO SAW TO IT THAT I WAS FAR FROM VIETNAM BY GETTING ME INTO THE TEXAS NATIONAL GUARD. AND, TO BE FAIR TO OUR MEN AND WOMEN IN UNIFORM, I MUST ADMIT THAT I DIDN'T REALLY MEET MY MILITARY OBLIGATIONS. YES, I WAS AWOL. I'M SORRY. BETWEEN THE DRUGS, LIQUOR, AND MY FRISKY DISPOSITION, I WENT ASTRAY.
ANYWAY, WHEN THE GROUP DECIDED TO MAKE ME PRESIDENT, WE REALIZED THAT POPS LOST HIS RE-ELECTION BECAUSE HE TAXED PEOPLE AND HE WENT SOFT ON THE WAR. WE DECIDED THAT WE WOULDN'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE.
SO, WE HAD TWO PLANS: CUT TAXES AND GO TO WAR.
TAXES WAS EASY. GIVE THE MOST TO THOSE WITH THE MOST POWER AND INFLUENCE. I DID JUST THAT, EVEN THOUGH I KEPT SAYING THAT I WAS HELPING THE WORKING FOLKS. I WAS SUPRISED ACTUALLY WHEN SO MANY PEOPLE BELIEVED ME.

FOR OUR WAR, WE SELECTED IRAQ. IT WAS THE PERFECT PLACE. I COULD FINISH DAD'S WAR. WE FIGURED THAT THEY PROBABLY HAD ILLEGAL WEAPONS. WE ALSO KNEW IT WOULD ELIMINATE ISRAEL'S BIGGEST ENEMY. AND, AFTER ALL, SADDAM HAD THREATENED MY DAD'S LIFE.
AND, IT WAS LOADED WITH 'BLACK OXYGEN'. IN OTHER WORDS, IT HAD OIL. LOTS OF OIL.
WELL, YOU SEE, JUST AS WE WERE CUTTING TAXES, THE 9/11 DISASTER HAPPENED. OUR WAR WAS HANDED TO US LIKE A GIFT. THE PROBLEM WAS, WE WEREN'T PLANNING ON WARRING WITH AFGHANISTAN. I ACTED TOUGH. I SAID THINGS LIKE, "BRING IT ON", AND, "DEAD OR ALIVE". BUT, WE COULN'T FIND OSAMA. WE TRIED, BUT HE WAS LOOKING SLYIER THAN US. WE NEEDED A MORE SUCCESSFUL PROJECT.
WE WENT BACK TO PLAN 'A'. IRAQ.
SO WE TIED THE TWO TOGETHER. I SAID IT SO MUCH THAT I ALMOST CALLED THEM 'OSADDAM AND HUSAMA. [CHUCKLE]
IT WORKED PRETTY WELL. AMERICANS WERE SCARED. I TOLD CARL THAT WE SHOULD HAVE A CODE 'BROWN'. HEH HEH.
MANY PEOPLE BELIEVED ANYTHING THAT WE SAID.
THE DEMOCRATS DIDN'T WANT TO SEEM UNPATROTIC, SO THEY WENT ALONG.
SO, WE REDECIDED TO GO TO WAR, ALTHOUGH I PRETENDED TO AVOID WAR AT ANY COST. WHEN IRAQ ALLOWED THE WEAPONS INSPECTORS IN, WE REALIZED THAT WE HAD TO ACT FAST. IF WEAPONS WERE FOUND, THEY'D BE REMOVED OR DESTROYED AND I'D HAVE NO WAR. IF NO WEAPONS WERE FOUND, AGAIN, I'D HAVE NO WAR.
WE CALL THAT A 'LOSE LOSE' SITUATION.
SO, WE HURRIED RIGHT INTO WAR. IT WAS A CLOSE CALL.
WE KICKED BUTT. MY RATINGS SOARED. I FIGURED IT WAS TIME FOR A VICTORY LAP. I FLEW ONTO THIS HERE VERY SHIP.
I TOLD REPORTERS THAT I FLEW THE FIGHTER PLANE ONTO THIS AIRCRAFT CARRIER. THAT WASN'T TRUE, BUT THE PILOT DID LET ME HOLD THE WHEEL FOR A FEW SECONDS. I WAS HIGHER THAN I HAD EVER BEEN ON COKE.

BUT THE FEELING DIDN'T LAST.
AS YOU KNOW, AT LEAST MOST OF YOU DO, WMD WERE NOT FOUND. I TRIED CLAIMING THAT WE FOUND SOME, BUT THAT DIDN'T WORK. WE LEAKED A RUMOR THAT THEY WERE SNEAKED OUT OF IRAQ AND INTO SYRIA OR IRAN. AT LEAST THAT WORKED SOME. A LOT OF FOLKS JUST WANTED TO BELIEVE ME. I MEAN, I COULDDA' SAID,'I'M A BIG LIAR', AND SOME FOLKS WOULD NOT HAVE BELIEVED IT.

WELL, WE COULDN'T SAY, 'SORRY, WE WERE WRONG.' SO, WE CHANGED THE WHOLE THING INTO AN ACT OF LIBERATION. WE WERE GONNA' FREE THE PEOPLE. BUT SOME OF THEM FOUGHT BACK.
I'D SAY THINGS LIKE,"THEY'RE TERRORISTS AND THEY HATE US FOR OUR FREEDOM. REST ASSURED THAT WE'LL STAY THE COURSE."
THAT'S BEEN WORKING PRETTY GOOD SO FAR, BUT MORE AMERICANS ARE STARTING TO QUESTION MY JUDGEMENT. I MYSELF THINK THAT THERE BANNER HAS BECOME, 'MISERY ACCOMPLISHED.'
ANYWAY,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

BACK TO THE FUTURE

2005-08-20T11:48:00.000-04:00

BACK IN THE BRASH DAYS, I USED TO POSE THIS HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION.

'IF YOU TOOK A PARTY FULL OF MARRIED COUPLES, AND ERASED THEIR MARRIAGES FROM THEIR MEMORY BANKS, WOULD THEY STILL GRAVITATE TO, AND MARRY THE SAME PEOPLE WHO BECAME THEIR SPOUSE.'

IT WAS TOO DANGEROUS TO ANSWER IN THE NEGATIVE, BUT WAS A PROVOCATIVE THOUGHT.

I ASK THE SAME QUESTION ABOUT AMERICA AND ITS WARS.

WITH THE DEATH , PAIN AND CONSEQUENCES WE AND OTHERS ENDURED, KNOWING ALL WE NOW KNOW, WOULD WE GO BACK IN TIME AND FIGHT THE SAME WARS?

WORLD WAR TWO ?
VIETNAM?
IRAQ?

I SEE TWO NO'S AND ONE YES.

ROVE vs.WADE

2005-07-21T12:40:00.000-04:00

Just as the heat-seeking questions are nearing the White House and Scott McClellan has to squirm his way in front of the cameras each day, along comes a white knight, John G. Roberts, to change the headlines.
Coincidence or masterful timing?

THROE UP

2005-07-06T03:00:00.000-04:00

VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY RECENTLY CLAIMED THAT THE IRAQ INSURGENCY IS IN THE LAST THROES.
HOURS LATER, THE GENERAL WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THE WAR SAYS THAT IT MAY LAST FOR TWELVE MORE YEARS.
IT'S 2005 O'CLOCK....DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR EIGHT YEAR OLD IS?

THE ONLY COMMENCEMENT SPEECH YOU'LL EVER NEED

2005-06-20T21:45:00.000-04:00

HELLO. SORRY ABOUT THE OPRESSIVE HEAT. PERHAPS THE HEAVY RAIN WILL REFRESH YOU.
I KNOW THAT YOU FEEL SCARED TODAY. (DON'T ADMIT IT...KEEP LOOKING FORWARD ).
YOU'RE FRIGHTNED BECAUSE, SINCE THE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN, YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN DIRECTED. YOU WERE FED THE MILK, TOOK THE NAPS, AND BECAME TOILET TRAINED.
YOU BLEW OUT THE CANDLES AND YOUR WISHES CAME TRUE. YOU WERE MOMMIE'S LIL' SUN KING. VERY SPECIAL.
AND I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU. HONESTLY. I'M BEING OBJECTIVE. YOU ARE SO SMART AND TALENTED. AND, QUITE THE ARTIST. VERY GOOD LOOKING TOO.
YEAH...YOU WERE THE 'LITTLE BIG MAN'. ' YOUNG TOM EDISON'. JUST AMAZING WITH COMPUTERS.

THEN IT WAS OFF TO SCHOOL WHERE YOU MET ALL THE OTHER SUN KINGS. THERE ARE MANY.

( INSERT A VISUAL OF PAGES BEING TURNED QUICKLY BY A BRISK EAST WIND).

SIXTEEN YEARS LATER THE RIDE IS OVER. YOU'VE GOT YOUR SHEEPSKIN, WHICH LIKE MOST THINGS, IS NOT WHAT IT CLAIMS TO BE. NO SHEEP. NO SKIN. JUST PURE VEGETARIAN PAPER. SO MUCH IS IN THE NAMING, REPACKAGING, AND PRESENTATION, WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO YOU.

TODAY YOU ROLL OFF THE ASSEMBLY LINE. YOU ARE NOW, 'YOU'.
YOUR BONES HAVE STOPPED GROWING.
YOU'VE GOT YOUR BODY HAIR, YOUR CELL PHONE, YOUR COOL, AND AN ATM CARD. YOU ARE NOW, OFFICIALLY, A FREE AGENT.

TALLY HO!
RELEASE THE HEADHUNTERS!
THE FREE MARKET SYSTEM HAS DREAMED OF THIS DAY.

THE TRAINING WHEELS ARE OFF.
'REQUIRED' AND 'MANDATORY' ARE IN THE REAR-VIEW MIRROR, WHERE OBJECTS MAY APPEAR CONSTRAINED. IT'S ALL ELECTIVES NOW.
STARTING IN ABOUT...I'D SAY... THREE MINUTES, YOU CAN BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE. YOU CAN PARTY ALL NIGHT. PUT TATTOOS WHEREVER YOU LIKE. EAT WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT. CRANK UP THE TV AND LEAVE LIGHTS ON IN EVERY ROOM..DURING THE DAY.

REMEMBER ALL THOSE, "ARE WE THERE YETS"?
WELL...YOU ARE NOW THERE!

THE FUTURE IS NOW AND YOU'RE ALL GASSED UP. SO, GENTLEMAN, START YOUR ENGINE!

BUT YOU DON'T QUITE FEEL LIKE THE MAN, DO YOU?
YOUR INNER DIALOGUE TELLS YOU OTHERWISE. YOU KNOW THAT YOU'VE REALLY BEEN BLUFFING YOUR WAY ABOUT.

YES, YOU'VE LEARNED TO DO THE ALPHA -STRUT, BUT YOU KNOW YOU'RE SKIPPING AROUND IN TOO- BIG, GROWN-UP-PRETEND CLOTHING. A SHEEP IN WOLF'S DOCKERS.
YOU DO SQUATS AT THE GYM, BUT YOU REALIZE THAT YOU DON'T KNOW SQUAT. YOU FAKEOUT YOUR PARENTS WHILE THEY FAKEOUT THEIR FRIENDS.

YOU STILL CALL HOME WHEN THE TRANSMISSION ACTS UP.
YOU'RE SCARED BECAUSE YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN A WORK IN PROGRESS. AND NOW, THE WORK IS FINISHED.
HERE'S WHERE WE FIND OUT WHAT YOU REALLY ARE.

RELAX KID. AVERAGE ISN'T SO BAD. YOU HAVE LOTS OF COMPANY.
LOTS.
SO, DON'T TRY TO SAVE THE WORLD. YOU FLATTER YOURSELF BY TRYING. JUST TRY TO SAVE YOURSELF. THERE'S ENOUGH WORK RIGHT THERE.

ADVICE.

NOTICE THAT SPEAKERS WHO TELL YOU ABOUT THE SHALLOWNESS OF MONEY GET PAID FOR SPEAKING.

FOLKS WHO TELL YOU HOW HARD THEY WORKED FOR EVERYTHING, PROBABLY NEVER WORKED VERY HARD FOR ANYTHING.

WHEN YOU GO TO THE DENTIST BE SURE TO CLEAN OUT YOUR NOSE FIRST. DOUBT ME AT YOUR PERIL.

TRY NOT TO USE WORDS LIKE 'RAPPROACHMENT". IT NEARLY ALWAYS BACKFIRES.

THE ACT OF BECOMING A SMOKER IS ONE OF THE PLANET'S MOST STUPID ACTS.

IF YOU INSIST ON GOD'S EXISTENCE, AT LEAST UNDERSTAND THAT HE'S EGOTISTICAL AND RATHER SADISTIC.

WHEN YOU HEAR, "THIS PERSON NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION," BE READY FOR AN INTRODUCTION.

STAY AWAY FROM CLICHES LIKE "MY HEART GOES OUT...".

FINALLY, BEWARE OF PEOPLE WHO SAY, "NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH". I PROMISE YOU, MANY THINGS COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.

ENJOY YOUR AVERAGE LIFE! IT'S NOT THAT BAD............
ON AVERAGE.

DYING IN VAIN

2005-06-08T06:30:00.000-04:00

Over 1,700 American soldiers have died in Iraq. The authors of the war somberly state that we must make sure that they didn't die in vain. This fatigued cliche comes too late. The administration reflexively repeats it to encourage support for a calculated war which was brutally miscalculated.
Those who were sent on this misadventure were honorably fighting for a contrived policy rooted in no honor. They, who have so quietly been placed in the ground, are being used a second time for the political cover of others. No manufactured explanation or ad hoc rational should blur the grim truth that those unlived lives ended in vain.
More will die in vain to white-out the deceit of those with blood on their hands. Blood which is never of their own .

WHO ARE THE HEROES

2005-05-18T14:35:00.000-04:00

INFLATION MEANS A DOLLAR DOESN'T HAVE AS MUCH VALUE AS IT DID IN THE PAST; IT TAKES MORE DOLLARS TO PURCHASE ALMOST ANYTHING TODAY THAN IT USED TO.
WE HAVE ANOTHER, NON-MONETARY TYPE OF INFLATION GOING ON.
IT DEALS WITH WORDS... WITH DEFINITIONS.
DANIEL PATRICK MOYNIHAN SAID THAT AMERICA WAS, 'DEFINING DEVIENCY DOWN'.
TODAY, IT SEEMS, WE'RE DEFINING ACHIEVEMENT UP.
THINK OF IT AS A HYPERBOLIC SOCIETY. WHERE PEOPLE GIVE 110%.
A BIG GULP, SUPER-SIZED PLACE, WHERE UNIVERSITIES INFLATE GRADES. WHERE AVERAGE HAS BEEN REPACKAGED INTO ABOVE AVERAGE. A PLACE WHERE SCHOOLS HAVE GIFTED PROGRAMS WHICH INCLUDE EVERY STUDENT. EVERYONE IS GIFTED.
MODELS HAVE BECOME SUPER-MODELS.
ACTORS HAVE BECOME STARS.
ATHLETES HAVE BECOME SUPER-STARS.
LIMMOS HAVE STRETCHED.
McADJECTIVES ARE THE NEW NOUNS.
MEDIOCORE IS UPGRADED TO GOOD, AND GOOD MEANS AWESOME.
THINGS HAVE BEEN RENAMED, INFLATED, AND PUFFED UP. IF IT'S SMALL, PUMP IN THE SILICONE AND ADD THE EXTENSIONS.
THIS INCLUDES OUR NATIONAL EGO. WE ARE A COUNTRY ON EMOTIONAL STEROIDS. MORE IS MORE. E PLURIBUS UBER.
SO WHAT HAS THIS DONE TO OUR CONCEPT OF HEROS AND HEROISM; WORDS WE OFTEN USE.
DO WE HAVE HERO INFLATION? IS IT PART OF THIS CULTURAL BLOAT?
WE SEEM QUICK TO CALL PEOPLE HEROS.
IS HITTING A HOMERUN HEROIC?
ARE ALL OUR SOLDIERS HEROES?
WAS CHRISTOPHER REEVES A HERO?
WERE THE PEOPLE KILLED IN THE TWIN TOWERS HEROES?
SO, THE QUESTION IS, THROUGH ALL THIS EXAGGERATED FOG, WHO ARE THE HEROES?

BACKS TO THE WALLS

2005-05-05T12:47:00.000-04:00

THE MASTER RACE RUNNING OUR COUNTRY HAS A MASTER PLAN TO ELIMINATE GOVERNMENT. NO, NOT ALL GOVERNMENT. ONLY THE PARTS THAT THEY DON'T LIKE; THE REGULATIONS, EXPENSES, AND RESTRICTIONS WHICH DON'T SERVE THEIR INTERESTS.
AS THEY CONTINUE THEIR QUEST, AMERICA WILL DRIFT FURTHER TOWARD TWO SEPERATE AND UNEQUAL SOCIETIES .

ONE CALLED 'WALLSTREET' AND THE OTHER CALLED 'WALLMART'.
OVERLY PRECIOUS, PERHAPS, BUT ACCURATE.

THE WALLSTREETERS EARN THEIR MONEY IN THE FORM OF BONUSES, DIVIDENDS AND CAPITAL GAINS. THEY MOSTLY MOVE PAPERS AROUND. THEY ADORE THE ADMINISTRATION, AND WELL THEY SHOULD.

THE WALLMARTERS SHOP IN BARGAIN STORES BECAUSE THEY HAVE LITTLE CHOICE TO DO OTHERWISE. THEY NEED BARGAINS IN ORDER TO LIVE. THEY MAKE THEIR MONEY MOVING REAL THINGS LIKE CARGO , DIRT, AND DISHES.

THE WALLMARTERS ARE LOSING JOBS TO COMPANIES WHO CUT BENEFITS, DOWNSIZE, AND RELOCATE TO LOW WAGE COUNTRIES. IRONICALLY, SOME SEEKING WORK GET JOBS IN WALLMARTS. THEY EARN ABOUT $9 AN HOUR AND GENERALLY GET NO BENEFITS.

THE WALLSTREETERS SEE INCREASING PROFITS BY INVESTING IN THOSE DOWNSIZED AND RELOCATED COMPANIES.

ADD A WEALTHY WORLD TO A STRUGGLING WORLD AND YOU MAY END UP WITH A THIRD WORLD.

RELIGIOUS VIAGRA AND THE UNDERPASS MADONNA

2005-04-28T13:13:00.000-04:00

I RECENTLY READ THE HOLY BLOGGINGS WRITTEN BY A MAN OF THE FABRIC. HE BOLDLY CLAIMED THAT UNLIKE THE SWAYING AND SWOONING OF SECULAR SOCIETY, THE CHURCH HAS BEEN A ROCK. UNCHANGED. SOLID.
'RIGID', IN THE FINEST SENSE OF THE WORD.
ESTABLISHED 0000 A.D./B.C. THANK YOU, CALL AGAIN.
THE REAL THING WITH LASTING POWERS.

HE CLAIMED THAT SINCE THE CHURCH HASN'T CHANGED FOR 2,000 YEARS, IT VERIFIES IT'S LEGITMACY AS THE TRUTH.
AN INTERESTING, NON-EVOLUTIONARY THEORY. THE SURVIVAL OF THE FIRMEST.

ACTUALLY, THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF CHA..CHA...CHA...CHANGES IN THE 'CHURCH' THROUGH THE YEARS.
THERE'S BEEN THE PERIODS OF BRUTAL KILLINGS, SEX IN INNER SANCTUMS...
(BOTH, THE CONSENSUAL STYLE, AND, THE NOT SO CONSENSUAL, FREESTYLE VARIETY).
THERE HAVE BEEN PLOTS AND SUB-PLOTS (EVEN SOME POISONINGS), THEFTS , WARS (SOMETIMES CONDONED, SOMETIMES NOT ), AND, IN SOME RECENT CASES... GIVING IT TO WEE ONES IN THE FUNDIMENT. BUT EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES AND FALLS VICTIM TO FADS. AFTER ALL, PEDOPHILIA WAS THE NEW BLACK AT THE TIME.

THE POINT IS THAT THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF BONES RATTLING AROUND WITH THOSE GOLD INGOTS IN THE VATICAN ATTIC.

OVERALL THOUGH, THE CHURCH HAS BEEN RATHER CONSISTANT THOUGH THE AGES.
ANALOG NOW. ANALOG FOREVER!
THE PRACTICE OF RITUALS, PLASTER STATUES, CRIPTIC BUT WELL- TAILORED UNIFORMS (NOTICE THE UNCHANGING HEMLINES), INCENSE FUMES, CONFESSIONS TO HANDI-WIPE THE SOUL, SMOKE ( BLACK, WHITE, OR PERHAPS THE ZINFANDEL ), LIMBO, ORIGINAL SIN, INDULGENCES ( WHOLESALE OR RETAIL ),
AND, SPEAKING OF INDULGENCES... COLLECTING CASH FROM THE POOR...WHILE PROMISING THEM A SUPER 3RD-ROW-CENTER -ON -THE- AISLE AFTERLIFE.
THE CHURCH PRESCRIPTION? STRUGGLE HERE ON EARTH, YOU SINNER, AND PRAISE THE LORD, AND YOU TOO WILL LIVE POST-MORTEM LIKE A KING IN A PALACE WEARING HIGH STITCH-COUNT NATURAL-SHOULDER CLOTHING, EATING FRENCH FOOD, ( BUT NO VIANDE ON VENDREDI ), WITH GUARDS IN MEDIEVIAL UNIFORMS PROTECTING YOU AND ALL THE OPULENCE AROUND YOU.

EPILOGUE...I SAW A VISAGE ON THE WALL OF AN UNDERPASS ALONG THE EXPRESSWAY. AS I REVERENTLY APPROACHED, I REALIZED THAT IT WAS AN IMAGE OF THE HOLY MADONNA. SHE SPOKE TO ME IN LATIN.
SHE SAID,
“WHEN MY SON JESUS RETURNS HERE TO THE BIG HOMELAND , HE'S GOING
TO PUNISH THE EVIL AND THE CRUEL. BUT MOSTLY, HE'S GONNA' GIVE IT TO THE MISERABLE PEDDLERS OF MAN–MADE, SELF-SERVING POPE-FICTION. THE MONSTERS WHO TWISTED HIS GOOD INTENTIONS TO SERVE THEIR OWN LUSTS.
THE FIRST ON HIS LIST IS THE MAC-DADDY HUSTLER WITH THE POINTLESS POINTY HAT AND INSIGNIA RING. HE WHO LIVED LIKE A KING WHILE SO MANY HAD SO LITTLE. HE'S DEAD MEAT... DEAD FISH ON FRIDAYS.
NEXT WILL BE THE EVILIST OF ALL POST-MODERN EVIL DOERS.
NO KIDDING, THERE WILL BE A BURNING BUSH IN HELL."

SUPPORT THE TROOPS

2005-04-28T03:41:00.000-04:00

HAVE YOU EVER SAID, "BY THE WAY" ?
IT MEANS NOTHING, NO?
WE USE TONS OF CLICHES. MORE THAN YOU COULD SHAKE A STICK AT.
SEE WHAT I MEAN? CLICHES DON'T WEIGH ANYTHING, AND WHAT'S THIS 'SHAKE A STICK' ALL ABOUT?
CASPER WEINBURGER ONCE SAID, " LABELS ARE SUBSTITUTES FOR THINKING".
LET'S CHANGE THAT TO, "CLICHES ARE SUBSTITUTES FOR THINKING".
TAKE, "SUPPORT THE TROOPS".
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
MY VIETNAM WAR- VET- ELECTRICIAN WAS DOING SOME WORK HERE RECENTLY.
AFTER FINISHING THE WORK, HE SAT DOWN TO GIVE ME HIS BILL. WE STARTED TALKING.
I ASKED HIM IF HE , 'SUPPORTED THE TROOPS', AND, HE SAID THAT HE DID.
AFTER ALL, HE HIMSELF WAS ONCE A TROOP. WOUNDED TOO. I ASKED HIM JUST WHAT THAT MEANT. HE STRAINED FOR AN ANSWER.
WE HEAR IT OFTEN. THE MAGNETIC RIBBONS ARE EVERYWHERE. "I SUPPORT OUR TROOPS"! IT'S FAIR TO ASK, "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN"?

HAS MICRO GONE SOFT?

2005-04-27T12:03:00.000-04:00

WHAT'S UP IN GATES-WORLD? AN EVANGELICAL SHAKES HIM DOWN AND THREATENS A BOYCOTT ( AND GIRLCOTT ) IF MICROSOFT SUPPORTS THE WASHINGTON STATE GAY RIGHTS BILL. SO THE COMPANY GOES ABUSER-FRIENDLY.

WHO'S DEATH IS IT ANYWAY?

2005-04-10T15:10:00.000-04:00

OUR COUNTRY HAS IMPROVED. WE NO LONGER STERILIZE THE RETARDED. NOR DO WE CONSIDER NATIVE AMERICANS A SUB-SPECIES OF HUMANHOOD. WE MADE WAR AGAINST OURSELVES TO OUTLAW SLAVERY.
WE'VE COME A LONG WAY BABY. ( HOWEVER, JUST WHEN A BABY BECOMES A BABY IS ANOTHER MATTER. )

NOW WE HAVE NEW, FRONT- BURNER QUESTIONS.
IS MERE BIOLOGICAL EXISTENCE AN EXISTENCE WORTH LIVING?
WHERE DOES SELF-DETERMINATION BEGIN AND END?
DOES CONSCIOUSNESS MATTER?
IS DEATH PART OF THE DEAL OF LIFE, OR IS IT MERELY A MEDICAL FAILURE?
IS LIVING IN A MEDICALIZED STATE REALLY LIVING?
AND, FINALLY, 'SAYS WHO'?
PUBLIC RADIO HAD A DISCUSSION RECENTLY ABOUT THE CRIME OF SUICIDE. THE QUESTION WAS RAISED OF THE PEOPLE WHO JUMPED FROM THE TWIN TOWERS. WERE THEY COMMITTING A CRIME?
IF YOU THINK SO, IT'S BEST YOU STOP HERE.

THOSE UNFORTUNATE PEOPLE WERE CONFRONTED WITH THE HORRORS OF THE PAINFUL AND PRESENT FIRE AND SMOKE, OR THE BRIEF DELAY INTO FREEDOM OF THE AIR LEADING TO AN INSTANT DEATH.
THEY MADE THEIR CHOICE. SOME JUMPED, OTHERS DIDN'T.
THEIR DEATHS WERE UNNATURAL AND PREMATURE.
DEATH HAPPENS.
SOME CHOOSE THE LEAST PAINFUL WAY. BUT PAIN MEANS DIFFERENT THINGS TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
WHOSE DEATH IS IT, ANYWAY?

GATED COMMUNITY WITHOUT THE GATES

2005-04-07T14:00:00.000-04:00

IF I WERE TO PUT A 'YOU ARE HERE' DOT ON A MAP, AND DRAW A CIRCLE AROUND THAT DOT, TAKING IN THE RANGE OF MY DAILY AND TYPICAL LIFE, THAT CIRCLE WOULD ENCOMPASS A SMALL WORLD. THE HOUSE, THE SHOPPING, THE OFFICE, THE SCHOOL, THE RESTAURANTS, ALL, WOULD BE WITHIN A SMALL RING. MOST OF MY FRIENSHIPS, ( MY CIRCLE OF FRIENDS ), DEVELOPED WITHIN IT.
EXCLUDE THE OCCASIONAL EXCURSIONS OUTSIDE THE CIRCLE...THAT TRIP TO BRAZIL OR THE JOURNEY IN WEST AFRICA, BRIEF EXCEPTIONS BOTH, AND THE CIRCLE OF MY LIFE IS TINY.
I LIVE IN A COCOON. A BUBBLE.
MOST OF US DO.
WE STRAY VERY LITTLE BEYOND THE ANCHOR-POINT OF OUR LIVES, AND WHEN WE DO, IT'S IN THE CAPSULE OF OUR CARS. OUR HOMES EXPAND AS OUR CONTACT WITH THE WORLD CONTRACTS. FRONT PORCHES HAVE BECOME UNUSED ARCHITECTURAL STATEMENTS WITH THE A/C ON INSIDE.
OUR NEIGHBORHOODS HAVE PEOPLE WHO CAN AFFORD TO LIVE IN THEM. THERE'S AN IMPLIED COMMONALITY, A LIKEMINDEDNESS, BY THE VERY ACT OF CHOOSING ( OR BEING LIMITED ) TO LIVE IN A PLACE. IT'S LIKE A GATED COMMUNITY WITHOUT THE GATES.

IT'S BEEN SAID THAT NEW YORK IS NOT A BIG CITY BUT ACTUALLY A BUNCH OF SMALL NEIGHBORHOODS WHERE PEOPLE LIVE.

NEXT: HOW DOES THIS AFFECT US?

A BATTLE OF LIFE AND DEATH

2005-03-27T20:00:00.000-05:00

FOR YEARS, THE DEBATE IN AMERICA HAS BEEN 'JUST WHEN DOES LIFE BEGIN'? THE ARGUMENT RANGES FROM THE MOMENT A SPERM REACHES AN EGG, TO THREE TRIMESTERS LATER WHEN THAT FIRST GULP OF FREE RANGE AIR IS TAKEN.
A PERFECTLY REASONABLE DEBATE IT IS TOO, WERE IT NOT FOR THE AUDITORIUM IN WHICH IT'S HELD; A WOMAN'S BODY.
NOW, WE FIND OURSELVES BATTLING OVER THE MIRROR IMAGE ISSUE OF JUST WHEN DOES LIFE END.
LINES HAVE BEEN DRAWN IN THE SANDS OF TIME, BUT THEY RESEMBLE SQUIGGLES MORE THAN LINES.
THE LEFT, WHILE CHANTING 'NO MORE WAR' AND 'END THE DEATH PENALTY' HAVE TOO COMFORTABLE A COMFORT LEVEL WITH THE PRO-CHOICE PRO-EUTHANASIA PHILOSOPHY.
THE RIGHT HAVING NO PROBLEM EXECUTING PRISIONERS AND EXCUSING COLLATERAL WAR 'DAMAGE' AS A CASUAL BYPRODUCT, CRINGE AT ABORTION AND FEEDING TUBE EXTRACTIONS.
OUR NEXT DEBATE: HOW DID WE GET HERE...AND...WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

FEEDING FRENZY

2005-03-22T19:24:00.000-05:00

THE FOLKS WHO BROUGHT YOU SMALL GOVERNMENT AND THE RIGHTS OF STATES ( OR WAS THAT 'ESTATES' ), HAVE RELEASED THEIR NEW SPRING PRODUCT LINE.
HAVING RESCUED THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE FROM THE SODOMITES, THEY NOW BRING US THE SANCTITY OF LIFE ITSELF. THEY CALL IT----AND THEY'RE VERY GOOD AT RENAMING THINGS--- THE CULTURE OF LIFE. ANYONE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH 'THE CULTURE OF LIFE'?
BUSH AND COMPANY ARE SO ENAMORED OF LIFE THAT THEY'RE WILLING TO UNDERGO SOME DEATHBED CONVERSIONS. YES, THEY SUPPORT THE DEATH PENALTY. YES, THEY'VE KILLED MORE PEOPLE IN THE PAST TWO YEARS THEN ALL OF EARTH'S MONSTERS COMBINED. YES, THE WANT TO CUT BACK ON MEDICARE AND MEDICAID. AND YES, THEY'VE DIRECTED A POLICY WHICH HAS MADE THE ENVIRONMENT LESS HEALTHY FOR LIVING. THIS 'MURDER INC.' ADMINISTRATION HAS EVEN CHAMPIONED THE STEMMING OF STEM CELL RESEARCH FOR THE AILING, ALL IN THE NAME OF PROTECTING THE UNUSED CELLS STORED IN FERTILITY CLINICS. LOVE THE FETUS, HATE THE CHILD.
BUT THEY SAW THE TWO MINUTES OF VIDEO OUT OF THE PAST FOURTEEN YEARS OF TERRI SCHIAVO'S LIFE. THEY SAW THE EYES MOVE AND BLINK. THEY SAW THE OPEN-MOUTHED SMILE. THEY DISTRIBUTED TALKING POINTS WHICH CALLED IT, "A GREAT POLITICAL ISSUE".
WHAT THE CENSORED VIDEO DIDN'T SHOW WAS THE URINARY CATHETER, OR THE ULCERATING BED SORES. THE VIDEO DIDN'T FEATURE THE MANUAL FECES REMOVAL , THE ATROPHY OF THE BODY, OR THE FROZEN CONSTRICTIONS OF THE JOINTS.
THE SANCTITY OF TERRI SCHIAVO'S MARRIAGE AND SPOKEN WISHES TO HER HUSBAND MICHAEL DOESN'T MATTER MUCH HERE. THERE WAS A FEEDING FRENZY TO REINSERT THAT FEEDING TUBE. WITH ENOUGH TUBES AND DEVICES PEOPLE MAY NEVER HAVE TO TECHNICALLY DIE. THEY COULD VEGATATE FOREVER.
PERHAPS GEORGE BUSH WILL TAKE TERRI ALONG ON AIR FORCE ONE SO THAT SHE CAN PARTICIPATE IN HIS TOWN HALL MEETINGS. THE MEETINGS WHICH BAR THE BLUE SIDE OF TOWN. LET AMERICA SEE JUST HOW ALIVE SHE REALLY IS, AND HOW DEADLY OUR ADMINISTRATION HAS BECOME.

GREEN AND YELLOW MEDIA

2005-02-19T09:20:00.000-05:00

GREEN AND YELLOW MEDIA

ON FEBRUARY 14TH, IN THE RURAL BACKWATER (PAGE 4, SECTION C) OF THE NEW YORK TIMES APPEARED AN ARTICLE ABOUT LOCAL TV COVERAGE OF POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS. IT CITED A STUDY BY THE UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN AND SETON HALL WHICH EXAMINED 4,000 LOCAL TV NEWSCASTS WHICH COVERED 11 MAJOR MARKETS IN THE MONTH LEADING UP TO THE LAST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. THE FINDINGS WERE THAT THE BROADCASTS, WHICH INCLUDED NEW YORK, LOS ANGELES, AND MIAMI, DEVOTED 8 TIMES AS MUCH AIRTIME TO CAR CRASHES AND OTHER ACCIDENTS THAN TO CAMPAIGNS FOR THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, STATE SENATE, CITY HALL AND OTHER LOCAL OFFICES.
ONE OF THE AUTHORS OF THE STUDY CONCLUDED THAT, "... MOST STATIONS FEAR THAT COVERING POLITICS IS RATINGS POISON. INTERESTINGLY, THEY DON'T SEEM TO FEAR THAT RUNNING A TORRENT OF POLITICAL ADS HURTS THEM WITH THEIR AUDIENCE."
APPARENTLY THE QUEST FOR MONEY TRUMPS ALL. IF IT BLEEDS IT LEADS. IF THERE'S SKIN IT'S IN. TRASH MAKES CASH.
MAJOR ‘MARKETS’, INDEED.
WELCOME TO THE GREENING OF THE MEDIA. CASH IS KING! SOME 'WHITE HOUSE JOURNALISTS' ARE EVEN BEING PAID TO 'JOURNAL'. THE WHITE HOUSE ENDORSES THE PRACTICE, AND THE CHECKS. THE GREEN MEDIA'S GOAL IS TO ATTRACT A CROWD; THE BIGGER THE BETTER, IGNORING THE PREMISE THAT IN OUR REALITY- SHOW, DUMBED-DOWN WORLD, ATTRACTING A CROWD JUST MAY BE A SIGN OF FAILURE; PROOF OF ABANDONING JOURNALISTIC RESPONSIBILITIES.
EVEN WORSE THAN THE PURSUIT OF GREEN, IS THE YELLOWING OF OUR MEDIA. THEY HAVE BECOME FRIGHTENED OF DOING THEIR JOB. THEY THINK THAT TO QUESTION OR CHALLENGE A POLICY IS TO LOOK UNPATRIOTIC. THEY HEEDED PRESIDENT BUSH'S, “YOU’RE EITHER WITH US OR AGAINST US" PROCLAMATION. SOME ELEMENTS IN THE YELLOW MEDIA EVEN SEE GREAT POTENTIAL IN PATRIOTISM AS A PROFIT LEADER, IGNORING, EVEN ATTACKING ANY DISSENTING POINT OF VIEW. THEY SIRED A FUTURES MARKET IN FLAG WAVING. SO, BETWEEN THE GREEN GREED AND YELLOW FEAR, THE MEDIA HAS REINVENTED ITSELF INTO A WELL-BEHAVED AND WELL-REWARDED PRODUCT. A USER-FRIENDLY JOURNALISM THAT GETS USED BY THE ADMINISTRATION. A LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT JOURNALISM. ANY SERIOUS EFFORTS AT TRUTH NEED NOT APPLY; YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE.WE'VE GOT A SAME SECT MARRIAGE GOING ON. MUCH OF AMERICA’S MEDIA HAS SOLD OUT TO THE HIGHEST AND MOST POWERFUL BIDDER.
RECOVERY WILL BE PAINFUL, BUT ESSENTIAL. THE MEDIA MUST ENTER A REHABILITATION CLINIC AND GO THROUGH A WITHDRAWAL- STYLE DETOXIFICATION PROGRAM. THEY MUST RELEARN TO CHOOSE THE SIGNIFICANT OVER THE SEXY; THE IMPORTANT OVER THE INTERESTING; THE CONSEQUENTIAL OVER THE AMUSING; AND MOSTLY, END THIS PORNOGRAPHIC NEW- WAVE PATRIOTISM AT THE EXPENSE OF TRUTH. SERIOUS JOURNALISTS MIGHT START WITH A PRESS CONFERENCE WALK-OUT
(ASSUMING THEY ARE ALLOWED TO WALK IN ) AGAINST JOURNALIST 'IMPLANTS' AND POLITICAL BOTOX. CAN YOU IMAGINE A MEDIA STRIKE AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT? CONSIDER HEARING QUESTIONS AND FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS WHICH WON'T PERMIT THE ADMINISTRATION TO WAG THE LAP DOG.
DESPERATE CITIZENS ARE WATCHING DESPERATE TELEVISION BECAUSE OUR MEDIA HAS BECOME DESPERATE FOR GREENBACKS AND WHITE HOUSE APPROVAL. WE NEED RED WHITE AND BLUE, NOT YELLOW AND GREEN. OUR HOMELAND MEDIA NEEDS AN EXTREME MAKEOVER.

DON'T BE AFRAID OF US GEORGE....WE'RE AFRAID OF YOU

2005-02-10T21:40:00.000-05:00

GEORGE HAS COME A LONG WAY SINCE HIS UNIBROW DAYS. HE HAS LONG SINCE STOPPED VACUUMING UP NOSE CANDY. THE NOSTRILS ARE HEALED. THE AFFIRMATIVE ACTION ADDMISSION INTO ELITE UNIVERSITIES IS HISTORY. THE ARRESTS, THE BOOZE...GONE... GONE LIKE HE WAS, WHILE PROTECTING THE HOMELAND FROM THE VIET CONG.
HE SURVIVED A SECOND PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN , THIS TIME WITHOUT SAYING THAT HIS OPPONENT SIRED A WILLY HORTON BABY. GEORGE, YOU CAN ONLY BE PRESIDENT TWICE, I RECKON.
YOU'RE 'FREE TO BE YOU AND ME'. STUMBLING AND MUMBLING CAN'T HURT YOU NOW. DANG, LOOKS LIKE IT NEVER DID HURT YOU. SOME FOLKS EVEN LOVE IT. NICE TOUCH, HOMEY-BOY. NO NEED TO HIDE FROM THE PRESS ANYMORE. DON'T BE AFRAID. THE WEAPONS WERE NEVER FOUND, BUT YOU MORPHED THREATS TO US INTO LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL. ALMOST.
DUE PROCESS IS SO YESTERDAY.
EQUAL PROTECTION UNDER THE LAW BECAME QUAINT. WHAT'S A SPLASH OF TORTURE AMOUNG FRIENDS?
YOU ARE THE EARTH'S ALPHA-MAN. DO THAT STRUT YOU DO SO WELL...ARMS PUSHED AWAY FROM YOUR TORSO BY YOUR MANLY LAT MUSCLES.
SO GET, I MEAN , GIT' OUT THERE AND FACE THOSE IN-TERROR-GATORS. EVEN THE DEVIL WITH THE RED DRESS, RED DRESS ON; HELEN THOMAS. GIVE HER A FOLLOW UP TO HER FOLLOW UP. LET AN UNSCREENED AUDIENCE ASK UNSANITIZED QUESTIONS.
THERE'S SOMETHING THE ROVESTER'S BEEN TOO BUSY TO TELL YOU. YOU ARE SAFE GEORGE. YOU'RE IN KANSAS NOW.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF THE PRESS ANYMORE.
YOU SEE GEORGE, THE PRESS IS AFRAID OF YOU. JUST LIKE SO VERY MANY OF THE REST OF US.