Tuesday, December 06, 2005

INTELLIGENT REDESIGN

POPE BENEDICT XVI HAS DECIDED TO RETHINK 'LIMBO'. HE SENT A PROPOSAL TO A THEOLOGICAL COMMISSION SO THAT THE VENUE CAN BE OFFICIALLY ABOLISHED BY THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH. SOMEWHAT LIKE A GOING-OUT-OF-BUSINESS INFERNO- SALE. THE LEASE WILL NOT BE RENEWED.
UNLIKE PURGATORY, WHICH IS A HOLDING PEN FOR HEAVEN, LIMBO IS THE PLACE WHERE DEAD, UNBAPTIZED (ANABAPTIZED ) INFANTS GO. IT HAS LITTLE FLAMES FOR LITTLE PEOPLE. IT ALSO HOUSES THE GOOD ADULTS WHO WERE NOT WISE ENOUGH TO BE BORN AFTER THE CREATION OF THE BAPTISIM RITUAL. THUS, IT'S MUCH LIKE A GATED COMMUNITY FOR ADULTS AND INFANTS. WHILE NOT AS WELL APPOINTED AS HEAVEN, WHERE FACE-TIME WITH GOD IS JUST ONE PERK, IT'S NOT NEARLY AS NASTY AS HELL;.
THIS ETERNAL DAY-CARE, AND LONG-TERM-CARE CENTER, HAS AN ENTRANCE, BUT NO EXIT DOOR.
IT STARTED IN THE MIDDLE-AGES WHEN MEDIEVAL THEOLOGIANS REALIZED THAT THEY NEEDED A PLACE TO PUT BABIES WHO HADN'T COMMITTED EVIL, YET, HADN'T BEEN BAPTIZED.
WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO?

L--I--M--B--O

BINGO!

LIMBUS INFERNI!
WELL THIS HOME FOR THE CONDEMNED MAY SOON BE ITSELF CONDEMNED.
THE PAPAL QUESTION IS, WHAT HAPPENS TO THE ANABAPTIZED BABIES OF THE FUTURE? WHERE WILL THEY GO?
AND WHAT ABOUT THOSE WHO ARE ALREADY IN LIMBO? WILL THEY BE
GRAND-OUR-FATHERED INTO A NEW PLACE? WILL THEY BE ISSUED GREEN CARDS AND ALLOWED TO IMMIGRATE?
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.

7 comments:

hans blix said...

Is it just me but doesn't Limbo sound an awful lot like Limbaugh?

quicksand said...

YES IT DOES.
ALSO HAS TONES OF LIMBURGER.

Rue said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rue said...

*Giggle* You're hilarious. How ridiculous organized religion sounds sometimes! It's no wonder I don't believe in it.How can you say there is a limbo and then say there isn't and make people believe that God created it. A loving God? One who would ban infants from his sight for the sin of dyng before they could be baptized. I cannot believe MY God could do such a thing.God loves me and I love Him. We are supposed to love and respect oursleves and each other. That's all I know and I think that's all I need to know.

quicksand said...

SOUNDS LIKE A PRODUCT FROM MADISON AVENUE.
NEW! AND IMPROVED! WITHOUT ARTIFICAL COLORING. AND NOW...LIMBO FREE!

Anonymous said...

People have asked why I haven't visited this blog in quite some time. Personally I don't care for people who just spout their views without any real thought or even a semblance of research.I can appreciate the views on the war and other opinions as well, but with the internet and a thing called books, you can learn about anything you choose before displaying your ignorance. So, this brings me to your amusing understanding of what the Catholic Church has ALWAYS taught about Limbo, but of course you really probably don't want to know because this would take away the bashing of something you obviously know nothing about. So...continue in your ignorance. Here is something from a Catholic site which took me all of 4 seconds to find.

The Catholic Church never "believed" in limbo. The existence of limbo for unbaptized infants is not part of divine revelation, but rather was and is an educated theological "guess." Catholics are free to believe or disbelieve in limbo. What happens to unbaptized people who do not have the use of reason and who die in that state is an open question. Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, number 1261.

In the 1985 book-length interview, "The Ratzinger Report," the future Pope Benedict said, "Limbo was never a defined truth of faith. Personally -- and here I am speaking more as a theologian and not as prefect of the congregation -- I would abandon it, since it was only a theological hypothesis.

quicksand said...

TO ANON,

YOU ARE CORRECT. THIS SITE IS ABOUT ME SPOUTING MY VIEWS.
I NEVER PRETEND TO HAVE THE ANSWERS...JUST MY OPINION.
AS FOR LIMBO, I PICKED UP THE NOTION AFTER SPENDING SIX YEARS WITH NUNS IN A CATHOLIC SCHOOL.

ARE YOU CALLING THOSE NUNS LIARS?
OR, DID I JUST MISUNDERSTAND WHAT THEY SAID ON A REGULAR BASIS?

as always, thanks for visiting the site and leaving a comment.