Saturday, January 27, 2007

EXTRA...EXTRA...READ ALL ABOUT IT!

AFTER THE FIRST SEMESTER, AS BUSH’S NEED FOR THE TUTOR WAS LESSENED, THE NEOs TOLD CHENEY TO FALL ON HIS AORTA SO THAT THEY COULD IMPLANT THEIR NEXT PRESIDENTIAL SELECTION DEEP INTO HIS CODE-RED LEATHER SWIVEL CHAIR. THROW ONE CLOT FOR THE GIPPER!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED MR. VICE PRESIDENT!
NOW GO AWAY.

CHENEY REFUSED.
‘LOOK HOW FAR I GOT YOU DAMN INGRATES! I CREATED A WAR FOR YOU! I REWROTE THE CONSTITUTION! I’M NOT GOING HOME TO MENACE THE DOG FROM THE LA-Z-BOY!”
THERE WERE MORE WARS TO BE WAGED; MORE PRINCIPLES TO BE TORQUED.

NOTHING STOOD IN HIS WAY. MANIPULATIONS, DISTORTIONS, EVASIONS, AND LIES ROLLED OFF HIM LIKE WATER ON A DUCK-HUNTER’S BACK, AS THE INVERTEBRATE PRESS WAS PEEKING FROM ITS SPIDER HOLE.
ALTHOUGH HE WAS THE WEAKEST PRESIDENT IN AMERICAN HISTORY, HE WAS NOT IN HIS LAST THROES.

BUT WAIT!
AS THE SCOOTER LIBBY TRIAL TAKES SHAPE, WE MAY DISCOVER THAT MOST OF THE COOKIE CRUMBS ARE ON CHENEY’S LIPS.
WHILE THIS IS THE SAME OL’ CHENEY, THIS IS NOT THE SAME OL’ PUBLIC. WHY, IF THE PUBLIC COULD SPEAK, THEY’D SAY SOMETHING LIKE, ‘I’VE HAD IT UP TO HERE!” (Holding their hand as high as the Canadian border).

THE CITIZEN ANGER PERFORMS CPR ON THE MEDIA, WHO REMOVE THEIR FRILLY LACE GLOVES AND HOUND THE ADMINISTRATION FOR ANSWERS AND ACCOUNTABILITY.

BUSH FUMBLES.
NO…… NOT THE REGULAR FUMBLING…… HE REALLY FUMBLES.

CHENEY IS FORCED TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH HIS DOG.
THE NEO’s TRY TO MAKE LEMONADE. THEY REPLACE HIM WITH THE KINDEST, SWEETEST, MOST HONORABLE STAND-IN THEY CAN FIND…. NOT EASY.
THE DECIDERS---THE VOTERS----STAND UP AS THE STAND-IN STANDS-DOWN.

10 comments:

ben's friend said...

Quite witty and elegant, not to mention right (or is it left?) on. Loved the "...citizen anger performs CPR on the media." Although I haven't seen too much evidence of that yet, perhaps it is prophetic.

Purple Haze said...

As the sun set on DC on Saturday, 2007 the 27th Javier (new American language) the reportage is confused. Newsday sez less than the 100,000 expected marchers: NY Times reports about 400,000 marchers. Who you gonna believe!?!?! But Darth Cheney had the last word in a Newsweek interview when he rasped (imagine Darth Vader's breathing, here) that he doesn't spend any time worrying about how the public or media view him. ( I particularly think that Jon Stewart's impression of him is right on the money!) When pressed to react to personal criticism from people with whom he had worked before, Cheney hissed, "Well, I'm vice president, and they're not." So much for Saturday's impact on the consciousness of these so called "leaders," who have no morals or conscience. Bush and Cheney--what a country??????????????????????????????????????????????????

quicksand said...

IS THERE A PERSON IN AMERICA WHO BELIEVES THAT CHENEY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE PLAME LEAK?

the mad poster said...

Are Valerie Plane's urinary functions the business of Cheney or anyone else?

quicksand said...

why, you little squirt!

the mad poster said...

And you're a pisser.

Horsebreath said...

Dick Cheney is looking more like Lon Cheney every day.

quicksand said...

I WONDER IF HE'LL BABY-SIT FOR HIS GRANDCHILD.

ben's friend said...

Of course Big Dick will baby sit for his grandchild. He no doubt thinks that the child needs a macho male in his or her life. Who is better for that sort of bonding than a Dick who isn't afraid to kick the shit out of another country whether they deserve it or not.

quicksand said...

OF COURSE!
REHAB!
DEPROGRAMMING!
DETOXIFICATION!

BOOTIES ON THE GROUND!