Saturday, September 06, 2008

MAKE BELIEVE MAKE-OVERS

WHAT IF THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES AND THEIR SIDE KICKS
HAD MAKE OVERS.

LET'S PLAY A GAME OF PRETEND...(AS IF WE WEREN'T ALREADY)...AND START FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN.
REMEMBER BACK THAT FAR?

IN OUR GAME, ALL THE PLAYERS KEEP THEIR POLITICAL PHILOSOPHIES, THEIR INTELLECT, AND THEIR ISSUES.
WE'LL JUST MAKE A FEW CHANGES.


LET'S START BY REIMAGINING BARAK OBAMA, NOT AS A TALL, THIN, ATTRACTIVE, BLACK MAN.
HERE, BARAK IS A BARNEY FRANK- LIKE, STUBBY AND THICK, WHITE GUY WITH CROOKED TEETH AND WATERY EYES. WE'LL THROW IN A BAR-CODE HAIRSTYLE...(THE 'DO' THAT PRE-9/11 RUDOLPH GIULIANI SPORTED.)

HERE JOHN McCAIN HAS FUNCTIONING SHOULDERS BECAUSE HE WAS NEVER SHOT DOWN AND NEVER SPENT A MOMENT IN THE HANOI HILTON. OUR JOHN CAN EFFORTLESSLY HIGH-FIVE FOLKS AND BRISKLY DESCEND STAIRS WITH THE BEST OF 'EM.
LET'S KNOCK TEN YEARS OFF HIS AGE JUST TO BALANCE THE ABSENCE OF HIS P.O.W. MANTRA.


OUR SARAH PALIN IS NOT AN ATTRACTIVE WHITE WOMAN WITH DESIGNER FRAMES AND SUBTLE STREAKING IN HER THICK HAIR.
OUR SARAH IS SAM PALIN.
HE'S THE OBESE BLACK GOVERNOR OF ALASKA.
SAM LOOKS LIKE AL SHARPTON DID DURING THE 80's.
HE WEARS GLASSES, BUT THEY'RE BIFOCALS FROM LENS-CRAFTERS.
HE HAS THAT COARSE UNDER- THE- JAW SKIN CONDITION WHICH IS AGONY TO SHAVE.

JOE BIDEN BECOMES A FAST-TALKING GUY WITH REFRIGERATOR- BRIGHT CAPPED TEETH AND HAIR PLUGS WHICH RESEMBLE A PORTUGUESE CORK FARM.
KINDA' LIKE............WELL...........JOE BIDEN.

GAME OVER. ALTERATIONS FINISHED.
IF THE MAKE-OVERS WERE REAL, WOULD THEY MAKE A DIFFERENCE?

12 comments:

theguydowntheblock said...

Interesting scenario. The only person really left standing is Biden. Everyone else's career is based on a very specific perception.

At the bus stop said...

To judge people by their looks and not who,and what they are if of course,is and will always be politically incorrect...........but it is done everyday........
Just as in your "new scenario" there still isn't any choice........It saddens me that if this is the "creme de la creme" of our system in the USA....and these are the BEST we can come up with.........forget the whole thing.........Let's start over! It's a farce.....it insults me....the word PATHETIC serves this election well......

rthgrl said...

Your change of the cast of characters is as extreme as the actual selection we're being presented with. And the audio is as critical as the visual...what if John's voice didn't tremble? and Barack's wasn't smooth and measured? Makes me think further back to the possibles...what if Hillary didn't have cankles and a narcissistic, sex-addict as a spouse.
In this day of sound bites, 15 minute attention spans, a media that is so blatantly Left, and radio that is so Right...it's all become a grand-scale vaudeville show. Give 'em the one-line zingers and get out while they're still laughing.
It's come down to many of the choices that are presented to us today. Choose the lesser of two, the thing that hits closest to the mark. Hey, I can't buy the car that I would really want to have, so I need to weigh it all out and make the closest decision I can to my dream.
And, to "at the bus stop", do you really think that any of this has to do with being the BEST choice? It's who they think has the best chance of W-I-N-N-I-N-G... All based on competition, that all-hailed from birth, American ideal. This is one game that everyone doesn't get a trophy just because they played...

quicksand said...

BLOCK GUY,

THE OLD WORDS FOR IT WERE...STYLE OVER SUBSTANCE.

quicksand said...

BUS STOP,

THERE'S ALWAYS A CHOICE...IT JUST DEPENDS UPON WHY WE MAKE THE CHOICE.

quicksand said...

RTHGRL,

IF WE ALL HAD AN ATTENTION SPAN OF 15 MINUTES...
IT WOULD BE A SOLID IMPROVEMENT.

LOVE THE VAUDEVILLE COMMENT!

THE POLITICAL IMPALER said...

modern day politics is all smoke and mirrors staged by hollywood directors. It would be impossible for anyone fitting your new description to have advanced far enough to run for president and vice president.

quicksand said...

IMPALER,

IF WHAT YOU SAY IS TRUE...IT MEANS THAT WE ARE DENSE, SHALLOW,
POP-CULTURE FOLKS.

MAKES ONE THINK OF THE MUSIC VIDEO BUISNESS. SINGING IS NEARLY AN AFTERTHOUGHT. IT'S ALL ABOUT COOL AND HOTNESS.

Anonymous said...

I disagree that there is a problem with the quality of the presidential candidates. Yes, it is probably a question of style over substance but not entirely. Even the most perfectly scripted Republican candidate would have to tip-toe around social issues if not come out and fully endorse the conservative position; and even a Democratic nominee that came straight out of Hollywood would have to say things to appease parts of the liberal base. In other words, there is a difference of substance that is important. For all of the talk about sindbites and fifteen second policy discussions, can anyone name me any other democracy (or not) in the world where there has been a more detailed, intense debate about issues than what we have seen over the last 18 months. What voters do with the information they have received is something else, but the candidates and the process have been very explicit in presenting the views of the different candidates and parties on key issues. And style does matter for the presidency because their ability to communicate, mobilise public support and even charm are essential tools for every aspect of the job, from dealing with Congress to negotiating with Putin. I have my views on who would be better at the job but there is no doubt that the process works. It allows voters to balance their own views on issues with what they think about the character of the candidates. This is probably why Obama is the democratic nominee and not Clinton, and why McCain is still standing and Huckabee and Romney are licking their wounds.

quicksand said...

ANON,

THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENTS.
THE ISSUE HERE IS NOT THE CANDIDATES.
IT IS THE PUBLIC PERCEPTIONS OF THE CANDIDATES.
SARAH PALIN IS ATTRACTING HUGE CROWDS.
HOW MANY IN THOSE CROWDS KNOW WHAT HER POSITIONS AND POLICIES ARE?
ONCE AGAIN...WHAT IS THE FORCE-FIELD...STYLE OR SUBSTANCE?

FURTHERMORE...ASK YOURSELF WHAT THE THREE MOST PRESSING ISSUES ARE.
ARE THE BEING CLEARLY ADDRESSED BY THE CANDIDATES?

Anonymous said...

I guess my main point was that it that in the American system of government, style might count more than substance. Everyone talks about how the Clintons are great policy wonks. Can anyone name one major policy introduced by the Clinton presidency? Everyone remembers the style and if they are Democrats, it was a style they liked and if not, it was a style they didn't.
People know that Palin represents certain values and from that she will probably defend certain policy positions. Whether she and McCain will be able to get them will depend on what kind of Congress they have to deal with and their ability to sway public opinion.
Shouldn't we first ask what are the qualities we want and need in a leader? Maybe style is more important than substance. Newt Gingrich knows a lot about policy but I am not sure he would be a great leader.

quicksand said...

ANON,

HEY.........GORE WENT WITH EARTH-TONES.