Venetian Blinds

CNN is so adorable.

Their coverage of the much-promotedDecember Republican Debate was a hybrid of the Korean People’s Army and Let's Make a Deal.

Tune in at 8:00 for the main event, we were told.

Like trailers and concession promotions at the Lowes, the main event started later than advertised, the better to sell some bonus airtime...at 40 times the going rate.

Kathy Griffin’s clothed sidekick, Anderson Cooper, the song ‘n dance newsman, along with two other talking heads, explained to the viewers what they'd be viewing rather than just let them struggle with original thought.

Maybe it was a wise decision because when the camera actually focused on the stage...and staged it was…we saw the audience coordinator… the warmer-upper, showing the crowd how and when to applaud.

A clapping coach.

Viva Las Vegas.

Wolf Blitzer welcomed the crowd and used his “this is serious” voice to introduce the 9 candidates as they crossed the stage for the talent competition.

O’ say could you see that they each sported a white shirt, blue suit, and red tie?

Yes… Red Ties Matter.

Note: The renegades, Kasich andCarson wore blue ties. 

Blue! 

Big mistake. 

Hey, it’s not brain surgery.

Carly, the lone woman, wore a red dress, standing out like a strawberry on a blueberry tart.

With the exception of Kasich, they all proved their patriotism by wearing anAmerican flag lapel pin.

Ok. Carly wasn’t wearing a lapel pin, but in fairness, she had no lapel. 

She compensated by wearing a Flavor Flav sized crucifix.

During  the stylized version of our national anthem  (whose daughter scored that gig?) the candidates appropriately held their right hand tolapel, except for Carley, who, remember, was lapel-less.

No wonder we’ve never had a woman president.

First Point went to Ted Cruz…who held his hand under his lapel, closer to the heart than the others.

After a few candidates made opening statements, Carson made up for the blue tie by invoking a moment of silence for those killed in the recent terrorist attack in San Bernadino.

He closed his eyes a bit longer than usual.

Carson… slam dunk!

The debate began.

Hugh Hewitt started asking questions. Hugh who?

No chairs need apply.

There would be no sitting.

This 2+ hour marathon was no  place for sissies…or FDR. 

The debate centered on carpet bombing, walls, immigrants, war, andthe need of a president who said ‘Islam’ and ‘terrorism’ in the same sentence.

Christy scored when he said that we’d shoot down Russian planes if they didn’t do what we say.

The war-ready crowd seemed to love it.

Or was it just following the clap coach?

Anyway, the debate had a bit of everything.

The only thing missing was an 

Army recruitment kiosk.